in wanting to thrash dd to within an inch of her life?

[Elasticwoman]

I caught her in the act of stealing from my purse. It is not the first time. Am incandescent with rage.

Can any one suggest non-violent but effective remedy to correcting lightfingered and economical with the actualite dd? (She is almost as big as me so might thrash me back.)

xenia - what is it that you actually do? I think i might have chosen the wrong career

'A mother's place is in the wrong, it seems. '

i love that line!

one thought that i had when reading this thread is where is your dd with regards to puberty?i just had this image of me scoffing my way through bag after bag of crisps every month just before my af is due,and wondered if it could be a hormonal thing?

just a thought.

also,i was overweight as a child.my mum never restricted anything food-wise(in fact i was always made to clear my plate which is why ive lost the ability to know when im full now!),but when i was 13 and was being bullied in senior school,my mum said that she was going to the weight loss clinic at the doctors as she wanted to lose some weight,and i asked if i could go with her,and i stuck to the healthy eating plan and lost weight,and felt better in myself etc etc.i dont know if it would have made any difference if my mum had restricted food for me,my sister ate the same as me and was never overweight(lucky cow).

as for the stealing,i would never have dared steal from my mother's purse,i would not have wanted to know what she would do to me.

libra-i used to get £1 a day for lunch at senior school,and that was in the late 80's/early 90's.

DD has reached puberty recently, divastrop; you could be right about the hormonal thing.
What I can't understand is why she wasn't too scared to steal from my purse, as you were. I suppose it's because she got away with it too many times. And I'm not scary enough.

BTW I have never read her diary or her mail. She is writing a novel and I haven't read that either.

my mother was very scary.in fact,i'm still scared of her now even though i'm 30 and have 5 children.she wasnt violent or anything,just the odd smacked bum which was normal in those days,but i was scared s*less of her not talking to me,she would stop talking to me for days when id done something wrong,and i would be an emotional wreck trying to work out what it was,begging her to tell me.i think it was a bit extreme tbh

i just know that carb cravings can be a hormonal thing.

I can never keep up not talking to any one, Divastrop. No, couldn't do that to dd. Can't even do it to dh, even when he p***s me off bigtime.

Xenia had a point about sugar addiction- I ahd bullemia as a teenager and I used to streal to binge (and am a law abider par excellence now)

Would it worth watching? Bullemic poelpe can be a little overweight. Also check how her blood sugar is- if she's craving sweet thinsg there may well be an issue there,a nd w ould check that with trip to the GP for a diabetes check just to rule out teh low blood suagr that can result

Did you have a nanny/ boarding school for your children, xenia? I've met other children whose parents didn't believe in punsihing them. They have been unbearable and practically friendless. It doesn't seem to be a strategy that works for most children.

Not talking to a child doesn't strike me as a good way to deal with a problem. Might be good temporarily when you're incandescent and know you need to cool down first.

Just very libertarian and my parents too. The children seem fine. They are at day schools but I'm sure it is easier if you work full time of course. I was thinking about it today. Why do they do as I say or why does the compromise work? Or do I tolerate more than other parents do? Trying to think of some examples. Just had one who wouldn't go up to bed for 10 minutes longer than I wanted - I didn't think it was worth arguing over so took his twin up first, then I had a shower, then did the other one. I suppose I could have had a row and done punishment or something but it wasn't needed.