Is going to grandparents at Christmas a new thing?

[Pinknike]

When I was a child we didn't leave he house on Christmas Day, it was always present, breakfast, watch tv then Christmas dinner.

These days all I hear is people with young families venturing out to their parents, in laws or other extended family. A lot of the time I hear them saying that they don't really want to go for whatever reason, or how they have to alternate.

I wonder if this is a new thing, or if as a child we lived in our own bubble.

I end up feeling really guilty for declining in laws invitation, but as nice as they are, I like nothing more on Christmas Day than relaxing in my own house.

I always went to my Nan’s on Christmas Day, we opened presents at home then went straight Round there, then again on Boxing Day. Not a problem now as we all live together so we just stay at home.

We had our grannies to stay in our house (until I was about 10 and the last one died) as they were widowed and had smaller houses and we had the bigger house. My parents didnmt' have children until into their 30s and the grannies died in their 70s so no long living grand parents around really.

Just do what feels right for you. There are no specific rules. We had a lovely day with all the family here today (I am the granny now). However the few years before this we've been away skiing so not always met up on Christmas day. I am happy to do whatever family want.

My father didn't spend it with his grandparents as his father was 49 when he had him and his father's father was the last of about 10 children and he only had one grandparent whilst he was alive and only until he was anout 2 years old so again parents too old for there to be grandparents around much before they died off.

For years, DH and I literally traipsed up and down the motorway spending Xmas eve, Xmas day and Boxing Day with each set of parents (mine aren't together). It was exhausting I hated it.

Had DD and just said we wouldn't be travelling that year and have only stayed away once on Xmas eve since. I insist DD wakes up in her own bed Xmas day morning so Father Christmas knows she's here. It's made a big difference. Still have to see a lot of people but they either come to us or are local...

60s child. We went visiting on Xmas day, but also we would often have people staying with us, they might come visiting with us, or might stay at home and keep an eye on lunch or hoover or something while we were out.

I remember my brothers and I all having (almost)-tantrums because we had to leave the house when we all wanted to stay at home to watch Help! on tv.

We always saw grandparents when our kids were young. Initially we rotated so one year with my parents who lived about 250 miles away and one year at home here with MIL who would go to her other son and family the year we were away. Eventually we said we were staying at home and invited people to us. Now our DD who is married with young children hosts at her house one year with us and one year with her PIL.

My grandparents (both sets) always came to us along with my aunt and uncle and cousins. Prior to my memories we went to my grandparents but she was sick when I was still a toddler and never completely regained her strength hence the baton passing on. I'm currently hosting my parents and children and brother!

Going to relatives has always been common but families tended to live closer so less staying overnight.

We stay home, just us, and go visit family on Boxing Day etc, we did all the traipsing to see two sets of parents years ago and we never really enjoyed the day and neither the did the DC.

As a kid my grandparents (other grandparents lived abroad/different religion) alternated spending Christmas with us and my aunties/uncles - they never hosted. Come to think of it I’ve never eaten a single meal at my Nana’s dinner table as she was more fussy about keeping her dining room clean and tidy than having her grandkids round. I can count on one hand how many times I’ve been in her dining room (Grandad didn’t get a say) and most of those were a sneaky peek when she was on the toilet

No we always had Christmas at home exactly like you OP. My widowed granny came to ours alternate years but that was it. DH was he same so that's what we do with our children. Christmas Day is a firmly 'at home' day, this year we have my in-laws too which has been nice (most of the time! ).

When I was a child (mostly in the 70s) my grandparents would come over to house some Christmas evenings, and other Christmas evenings we would go to their house. Then on Boxing Day, we'd swap - so if they'd come to ours on Christmas Day, we'd go to theirs on Boxing Day; and vice versa.

One thing I did find interesting was how traffic started to increase on Christmas morning in the 2000s - I used to work Christmas eve in the hospital labs, and then go over in the morning, and the motorways used to be almost dead! But in the 2000s, the traffic started to increase.

So I think I agree that more people move around on Christmas Day now than they used to, but I don't agree that it's a new thing to visit Grandparents/other family on Christmas Day.

When I was growing up in the 60s & 70s we'd have Christmas lunch at home then go to grandparents. They all lived locally so there wasn't much travelling.

These days it's just DH & me & the boys. His parents are no longer with us & mine are overseas. We used to travel but eventually decided we'd prefer to stay at home.

No

It totally depends on the family. Growing up we were the only grandchildren on both sides, so it made sense for GP to come to us. Now my parents have two sets of GC who live far apart, so it makes sense to go to their house so all kids see GPs plus they get to see their cousins too.

I was born in the 60s. Some years we stayed at home and the gps came to us; some years we went to the maternal gps and the paternal gm came over. We were a military family, so lived some distance away from the gps.

Since the 90s, my mum has come to me for Christmas (when my parents divorced), or she has gone to my brothers once he was married. I have not spent Christmas anywhere but in my own home since we married in 1986. I also hosted my paternal gm, once my Dad died; then she decided to stay with my Mum (her ex dil), and they would come across for Christmas Day. This normally involved me driving from Cornwall to Cambridge and back to pick my dgm up!

We had Christmas Dinner as a family of four at home, and then ventured out early evening to a relative’s house for a big family party, and someone else hosted on Boxing Day.

Today I was with my in-laws, sisters-in-law, DH’s cousins etc. and I couldn’t imagine Christmas as being anything other than around extended family.

Of course it's not a "New Thing", but it's not "Everyone's Thing". No two Christmases are alike.

I grew up going to both sets of grandparents on Xmas day. Wasn’t until my paternal grandfather died that stopped. Then it was going to maternal grandparents only. Another day large paternal side would have an Xmas get together, Aunt’s, uncle’s, cousins (large family).

In UK (I’m not original from UK), we used to go to in-laws until I had a baby (and a house), they started coming to us as less disruptive with little ones.

So going to grandparents is not a new thing.

I'm 50, growing up we did 3hr drives to GP's every year, alternating the day itself with one set & Boxing Day the other set: until they all passed. (all were not young GP's & didn't drive).

Throughout my '70s '80s childhood both sets of grandparents came to stay with us at or around Christmas. It was always spent at home.
I think it depends who has the room in their house to accommodate loads of guests though.

Among our friends it's unusual not to be with one or other set of grandparents.

DH and my parents always had Christmas at home with the grandparents and other relatives visiting. Mum regularly hosted for 15 people, MIL less so. My cousińand SIL started hosting as soon as they had children, they both live close to the grandparents and I think it should be normal for the hosting to be done by the working generation with children, and this should pass down the generations.

In DHs family his older siblings have not taken on the baton of hosting. We've had PILs a couple of times since the kids were born but this year we've moved house and now have the biggest house in the family so we are hosting. SIL needed some persuading, she wanted to 'go home' but MIL is in her 80s and was widowed this year and I feel strongly that she shouldn't have to pay the costs of hosting or do all the work. She has done her time. So we have 12 people in the house right now which is exhausting but wonderful.

We went to my grandparents every Xmas when small kids, rural Bedfordshire to north London in a vw beetle. When I was 8 My mum rebelled!
We went between parents until dd1 was born, then we told people to come to us. My mum didn't have a leg to stand on!

Boxing Day has always been extended family day for me. Christmas Day is Just is, then all the grandparents the next day.

I don’t think it’s a new thing but we always stayed at home, as did DH. Grandparents occasionally came to us which was lovely, but sometimes it was just the 5 of us.

I always said that when we had our own kids we would stop travelling to alternative parents for Christmas and would have it in our own house. I want to be able to make it magical and create our own family traditions.

There’s an open invitation to all family to visit/stay. We’re two hours from my parents but they work on Christmas Day so can’t easily visit. In laws are in another country and would never visit - MIL wouldn’t accept not being in control.

My parents are fully accepting of this, they agree with our choice and always try to visit on Boxing Day if they can. MIL is not happy, every year. She likes to assume that we are going to my parents (no idea why!) and tries to manufacture lots of reasons why we have to go over there.

We always had Christmas in our own home. Once or twice my grandmother was staying with us.

After Christmas we visited people but never, ever on the day.

That’s kind of why I’ve insisted that we spend Christmas in our own home though I think both sets of parents would want us to spend it at their house. My view is that neither set spent the day at their parents houses on Christmas Day, so it’s an odd expectation. However, if they wanted to spend it with us at our home, they could (I don’t imagine they would even consider this though.)

I agree that it seems to be more of a thing now - so many of my friends (ones with kids) go and spend Christmas with their parents rather than hosting themselves.

Always spend Christmas Day and Boxing Day with relatives .
We can stay in and do nothing any other day of the year and would find that boring on Christmas Day