Is going to grandparents at Christmas a new thing?

[Pinknike]

When I was a child we didn't leave he house on Christmas Day, it was always present, breakfast, watch tv then Christmas dinner.

These days all I hear is people with young families venturing out to their parents, in laws or other extended family. A lot of the time I hear them saying that they don't really want to go for whatever reason, or how they have to alternate.

I wonder if this is a new thing, or if as a child we lived in our own bubble.

I end up feeling really guilty for declining in laws invitation, but as nice as they are, I like nothing more on Christmas Day than relaxing in my own house.

We never ever went anywhere for n Christmas Day when I was growing up. Always stayed at home, like OP.

We have always spent Christmas Day with extended family, and often did when we were kids too. This year is the first year we've ever had Christmas on our own, just me, dh and the dc, and I don't like it tbh - I'm used to spending it with lots of people and it's felt a bit... flat.

Grandparents came to us. I went to my Mums, as an Adult, until my Nan died, then my Mum came to mine.

Either my DDs come to me, or I go to one of theirs.

That tended to be the norm for everyone I knew, in the 70's.

We visited Aunts etc on Boxing Day.

Thinking about it, it wasn't just my GPS who came to ours, some years my Aunts/Uncles did.

There have always been different ways of doing things. There are families that go out to Church; There are families where someone is at work; There are families where someone is in training and doesn't 'indulge'; There are families that have no relatives; there are families that have huge gatherings; there are families that eat early then sit and watch the Queen's speech; there are families that get up late and slob around in PJs; there are families where the men folk go off to the pub or social club; there are families that always go to Grandparents there are families host; there are families that help out at Community Christmas or at a homeless shelter; there are families that take turns.
There are and always have been all sorts of arrangements - it isn't new or not new.

When I was a child, all of my mum's side of the family (and occasionally some of my step-dad's side) would come to our house for Xmas dinner. There would often be 10 adults and almost as many children. It was noisy, busy and cramped but lots of fun. They would often do this for bog-standard Sunday dinners as well so it wasn't a once-a-year thing either. They all lived within spitting distance and were really close. Over the years though people got divorced, people died, others fell out so it got quieter. As we children grew into adults and moved out we'd all go around to my mum's for Xmas until partners and babies came along and arguments and falling outs happened, again meaning that the big get-togethers were more stress than they were worth. Now, all my siblings and us have our own, individual Xmas days and just visit each other as and when at other times throughout the year. Dh, our dc and I don't leave our house at all from 24th-26th December and it's lovely.

I think you may have been living in a bit of a bubble.
Everyone I know gets together with families and extended families on Christmas Day, if not then on Eve or Boxing Day. We usually take turns with who is going to host and descend upon that family member on the day. Been this way for years.
I think it's a 'newer' thing just to stay at home judging by my younger neighbours who tend to do this. They don't appear to be so family centred and either spend Christmas on their own at home or with friends.

I think the percentage of people with access to a car has increased.

And more families live away from one another but within driving distance.

I also think it has something to do with how you like to spend your Christmas Day. If you like watching TV for most of the day, then visiting relatives or having them visit you can interrupt this. We tend not to watch much TV at all but spend longer (hours actually - too long really) on the meal chatting at the table then exchange presents in the evening and then drink a lot. TV isn't involved.

Never do it. Sounds horrendous.

As a kid we were at home for most of the xmases... can think of one where we were at my grandparents as we were mid house-move, one where we went to my aunt and one when I was an older teen and we went to my grandparents. But those felt weird as usually we were home. I just love being home and waking up in my own bed. This year we’ve come to my parents’, staying a couple of days each side, and they usually host grandmothers, great aunts etc too so they wouldn’t come to us really. but going forward I think we’ll have xmas at home and just have to not see extended family on Xmas day. Just craving family quiet time and our own groove!
But surely it’s hard to play all the games without a load of adults around!!?

We didn't have any GPs to visit when I was growing up as they'd all passed away. One bachelor uncle used to come to see us every year, but no other relatives. Now that I have my DH and 2 DDs (now 9 and 6), it's nice being able to visit extended family at Christmas or having them visit us. Our DDs have 9 cousins and enjoy spending time with them, and I enjoy getting plenty of time with our adult relatives (DM and MIL, DSis and DBIL, BIL and SIL).

I guess it really depends on whether your extended family live near to you and whether you have a close relationship with them. If they don't live close by and you want to see them at Christmas, then there will involve some travelling.

It very normal. Was standard for everyone to come to my mum’s (grandmother in your scenario i guess). Was just me, husband and kids today and i really miss going to my mums and the big family thing - saying that we had a lovely calm, relaxing day so I’m very happy.

Nope always standard where I'm from and dh also. My granny used to always stay with us for Xmas as no other family. Dh entire family used to go to his grans so 4 kids and partners and children - it was awesome

I am in my fifties and we always says dad's side of the family Christmas day and Mum's side boxing day. I really miss it.

We spent Christmas at my grandparents when I was a child (in the 80's/90's) and then at my parents when my grandparents passed away. When I met DH we split the day, spending half at my parents and half at his, he would usually have family visiting so not going wasn't really an option.

I'm so used to spending the day out and about with family that it would be weird to stay home. It wouldn't feel like Christmas.

We always went to grandparents when I was little. In fact, I can’t think of a holiday we had at home until I was older and they passed away.

But I suspect it has to do with how close they are and also who does the cooking in the family. My family and my IL both live too far away to easily go there regularly (we go to IL about every 4 ish years). Never done a Xmas at my family as they live abroad now and my mum absolutely cannot cook (probably why we always went to grandparents!). We’re more likely to host them as we have more space and I can actually cook a turkey.

When we were kids, our maternal grandad lived with us. Mum had several siblings who came for a buffet meal in the early evening. (We used to have our big meal at lunchtime to accommodate this). Then on Boxing Day we went to dad's parents and so did his brother and family. This was back in the 50s and 60s.

im 43 now but as a child we spent every Christmas at my nan and grandads. Christmas isn't the same without them and I miss them both

We often went to our grandparents or they came to us.
One of my earliest memories is of Father Christmas landing his sleigh in the park behind my grand parent's house. My mother says I dreamt it but I know it was real. 😉
I am a child of the 50s.

Complete opposite here. We always went out on Christmas day when I was growing up. Now it's just me, dp and ds. We see everyone else on the other days before new year. We just prefer to have no time table and we can have a drink without either needing to drive. We can't stay over at any of our relatives houses so we would have to come home.

We always stayed at home as children but that's because we live miles away from our extended family, or I imagine we would have visited grandparents.

We spend the morning at our house then go to my parents for Christmas dinner and usually stay the night. But that's what we love to do. If we didn't want to we wouldn't go.

MIL lives abroad and goes on holiday every year at Christmas so we don't see her.

I agree OP, everyone is sounds stressed on here, about the visiting dynamics dynamics of Christmas Day dinner. Personally we see nobody, I spend the day with my DH and my kids, everyone else is visited over the festive period, at leisure.

As a child my grandparents lived on the same street as us, so we either stayed over at theirs on Christmas Eve or they stayed with us so we were all together on Christmas Day. My cousins lived on the next street over and they would come to us on Christmas Day to visit and bring presents too.

I am 55. We always saw my maternal grandparents at Christmas. They lived 2 -3 hours away and we'd alternate one year at theirs and the next at ours.

When my DC were little we spent xmas most years at my DPs. They were 4 hours away and we had 4 DC a total of 5 years apart. Nothing new.