Is going to grandparents at Christmas a new thing?

[Pinknike]

When I was a child we didn't leave he house on Christmas Day, it was always present, breakfast, watch tv then Christmas dinner.

These days all I hear is people with young families venturing out to their parents, in laws or other extended family. A lot of the time I hear them saying that they don't really want to go for whatever reason, or how they have to alternate.

I wonder if this is a new thing, or if as a child we lived in our own bubble.

I end up feeling really guilty for declining in laws invitation, but as nice as they are, I like nothing more on Christmas Day than relaxing in my own house.

From what I remember of being young we'd be at home during the day then go to maternal gp for a buffet in the evening with all the family cousins etc. These days we alternate between mine and husbands parents, cooking for my family here or going there but tbh I think I'll only do that for a couple more years. I think once my kids are old enough to entertain themselves a bit we'll stay home alone. Atm it's so full on and it's nice to have family there when the kids want to play with people but I know they won't want to do that forever

My grandparents nearly always came to ours for lunch or us to them. Only had maternal grandparents and we were within 30 mins drive.

Since ds was 3 we have always hosted Christmas. My mother and step come weekend before and MIL comesbfor Christmas - used to come with FIL of course.

Mine are 100 miles away and MIL is 200. We will let the DC do what they want. I have hosted for nearly 30 years and tbh wouldn't mind a break. It's hard work.

We did this. Either they came to us or we went. But always in the afternoon, never for food, more for a cup of tea and biscuits and present exchange.

My grandparent died when I was quite young and had ill health so in no position to host anyway, we saw them short and sweet and then left again.

DH went to his granny for a full blown lunch each Christmas Day until she died.

Always stayed home, DC would never agree to leave the house to visit anyone! I'm fine with this.

I’ve never spent a Christmas without extended family, and only a handful in my own house. To me, it’s weird to be “on our own” as a family!

We all lived in the same town so no long distance driving involved. Xmas Eve was with iLs as that was their traditional day to celebrate, my parents were invited. Xmas morning at home with the DC to open presents. Xmas afternoon/evening with my parents, iLs invited.

The DC always considered it as having 3 Christmases.

Boxing day was our meet up day.

We live 100 miles in opposite direction from each set of GPs. Our DC are their only GC. When I was growing up we could just pop over to GPs and uncles/aunties/cousins rather than having to stay the whole day because we lived very close. The staying over thing is really to allow the GPs to see their only GC at Xmas. GPs can't come to us because they have other ageing/disabled relatives who would be alone at Xmas if my parents or PILs had to be away from home. I think most people do it by necessity, in order to be with their nearest and dearest rather than they can't be arsed to host etc!

@Pinknike growing up we did much the same as you. Before they died we might see my mum's mum and step dad or my dad's dad over the holidays but rarely on Christmas.

No, visiting family has always been a thing.

We used to go and see nan and grandad on bith sides and then the great grand parents.
Once I left home and Do and I got together our Christmas day consisted of
Leaving our house- going to DPs sister and kids, then DP's mothers, then travel 50 miles to pick my brother up drive another 20 miles with him go to my mum's and then nan and grandad's before driving about 70 miles back home! It was utterly exhausting.
We did this for 6 years before I finally snapped!!
We stop in now and if we go out its just for a walk.

I’m early 50s and we always went to my nans for Christmas Day , and since my dc were born ( eldest is mid 20s) we’ve always gone to my mums . This is the first year I’ve actually cooked a Christmas dinner and stayed at home and I must say it’s been brilliant .

In my late 40s and we spend all my childhood Christmases with my grandparents at theirs or ours. Up until this year much loved MIL has spend every Christmas with us too. She passed away in March so this is my first Christmas ever without a grandparent present.

In your own bubble. I’m 25 and don’t remember a Christmas where we didn’t visit both grandparents. I still do it now.

DH and I find this as well - growing up, we always had Christmas Day at home with our parents but as adults our parents still seem to expect to host. It’s too difficult to take young children out/away for Christmas so I find it odd. MIL told me she has difficulty not having her house as the ‘hub’ and worrying that her role as a mum is redundant and it was hard to answer that as I don’t want to give up my ‘turn’ but I do sympathise with how that must feel.

We went to Grandparents for most of my childhood. Now most come to my parents.

I find the 'We have children so are staying home' thing a bit odd. If there's more than one sibling then no one is going to see anyone.

Never NOT been to our DGM's for Christmas. When we were kids the whole family (DM's siblings) would stay there Christmas eve (4 bed house, people sleeping wherever they would fit, it was ace!) And have the whole of Christmas day together, then great aunts and extended family would come on boxing day. It was always brilliant. Now that we're older and some of us have our own children, we have Christmas morning in our own homes, breakfast and presents, then we go to lunch at DGM's and exchange more presents there.

We lost DGM October 2017, but still had this and last Christmas there as my uncle is there for now. It'll be so hard when it's time for us to say goodbye to the house.

When I was growing up in the 70s we always had Christmas at home and grandparents came to us.

My grandparents always came to ours for Christmas. Loved having them with us.

My parents and grandparents circumstances meant they were not able to host large numbers for a sit down meal anyway. So it was always a buffet at a different occasion to the Christmas dinner.

My house could become a "hub" but I'm not planning on it, lol!

This is my sons 3rd Christmas and so far every year we have either been with my parents or in laws because they are all so desperate to spend Christmas with him. In-laws even did him a stocking this year which pissed me off (to me it is one of the special parts of being a parent, and not for a grandparent to do). Anyway, we’ve decided hat next year we are having Christmas just the 3 of us. We want to decide what time we are getting up, when we have lunch, what to watch on the tv! But the pitch to the grandparents is that we need to start making our own family Christmas traditions, which we can’t do if we are with other people and doing Christmas their way. Where we are living at the moment is too small for guests so don’t need to feel obliged to invite anyone to ours. It’s nice to see family but I also think these few christmases while our son is young are so precious, we as parents deserve to enjoy at least a couple to ourselves, just like our parents did with us.

My grandma was widowed and came to us every Xmas. Now we fly to my Dparents with the kids or they come to us each year. And dear sins come too. Xmas has always been about getting people together for us. My in laws are too far away for us to go at Xmas -
We see them at Easter usually.

I don't understand all the people who hate visiting. I couldn't let Christmas pass by without seeing my parents and his. Also the cousins together is the best bit.

We had one grandparent coming up, she didn't drive and we didn't have a car until later on so didn't always see her. I guess people are living longer and more have cars so it is easier than it was when we were children.

I think mumsnet shows extremes as I don't know anyone in real life who isn't happy to spend Christmas with extended family.

I’d absolutely love to visit it or be visited by extended family on Christmas Day. Unfortunately in our case (and I have tried/suggested), my parents would refuse/not host and don’t like our food (prefer very plain and just don’t like eating out) and in laws we are not very close to anymore ( we used to visit, but the tv was on for the grandparents and everyone sat in complete silence - we did try to jolly things up as best we could, but sadly to no avail over the years). Very small families both sides too doesn’t help.

I really hope our children will still visit /allow us to visit in the future. It bothers me somewhat that they’ll think this is the norm, when there’s nothing more that I’d love. I’m quite envious about families that get to enjoy Christmas together, it must be wonderful having a house full.

We always had both grandmas at ours at Christmas. One lived an hour away and stayed a couple of nights, the other lived the same town and would come for most of the day. It was nice.

Now we live four hours from both sets of grandparents. In the past we would alternate going to each or them coming to
us for Christmas but now we have children I’ve said no travelling, I want them to wake up in their own beds in their own home. I wish we lived closer so we could have people popping in for some of the day without the hassle of overnight guests.