Should DD (14) give up her room for MIL over Christmas?

[Bogger]

DP and I have a two year old and I have 3 DC from previous marriage.

When DP’s DM comes to stay DD sleeps on with her two younger brothers. They have a very large room so it’s not cramped - but not ideal, she doesn’t really like sharing with them.

Our 2 year old has his own room with a trundle bed, but dd probably wouldn’t want to sleep in there either.

Should DP’s mum sleep in with 2 year old or should DD give up her room for DP’s mum?

However you configure it, the 14 year old gets to keep her own room.

Settle the two year old to sleep in his own room and then just move him into your bed (sleeping) when dd is going to bed?

It wont hurt the 2 year old to stay up for an extra hour and go to bed with brothers

14 year old should keep own room. I’d probably be wanting mil to stay in a nearby b&b or something but that’s me being anti social! I do sympathise with your dd though - at 14 your room is quite important and the chance to have that bit of privacy and space to yourself especially with a house full?

I will go against the grain.

The problem is the 2yo only has a trundle bed in their room. This would be challenging for the majority of elderly people. Heck, I’m in my 50’s and would find it challenging.

I assume your older DD has a regular bed, not a lift bed with stairs or something similar that would be unsuitable for older people? If so, I would make the 14yo give up their bed/room on the basis of practicality alone. Also, in my experience a 14yo is more adaptable to bunking down in different spots than a toddler who might find a different room/change in routine too exciting, scary (particularly if they wake in the night and can’t instantly recall where they are), overwhelming etc.

For perspective we gave my parents our bed at Christmas for over a decade. We got quite fond of the blow up mattress!

Move toddler in with you.

Dd has the toddlers room

Mil has Dds room.

I.wouldnt make her share with brothers she's too old.

He may settle in our room but he’s a massive fidget and will likely get up and wander about!

Ah, so it's about not inconveniencing you.

Personally I'd be shifting the 2 year old, not fair to kick the 14 year old out.

Wow, about as unanimous as mumsnet gets!

When I say trundle bed I mean it’s a standard sized single bed with a guest bed that pulls out underneath.

Perfect for MiL then, with toddler with you.

I think the putting him to bed in his own room then moving him into yours later should circumvent most of the problems.

In that case no need to chuck out the dd. Sorry thought that the 2 yr old slept on the trundle.

Time for the toddler to move . Better he gets used to it anyway

Move the two year. Good for him to get used to sleeping somewhere new. He will need to in future when you go on holiday. Leave 14 year old in her own space.

Two year old in with you and MIL in his room. Please don't move the 14 year old. At that age it's so important to them to have their own space.

Put all three boys in the toddler's room, unless they are 6ft tall grown men then they can camp out on the floor/trundle.

MIL get's boy's room, dd stays where she is.

Either put the toddler in with you or get an air bed and sleep in with the toddler and let MIL have your bed. Either way, I agree with the majority in letting the 14 year old keep her own room.

What does the 14yr old think?

It's more practical to move the toddler but I don't get why everyone is so anti moving the dd. It's not so awful if she does.

I’d leave the two year old where they are if they won’t sleep well in another room.

Nothing ruins peace and goodwill to all men like an overtired toddler who’s still screaming at midnight.

DD would like to keep her room but isn’t too fussed, her main problem is being in with the two boys as she says they smell and snore. She doesn’t mind giving up her room but would like her own space.

I just felt a bit mean!

Actually my two year’s wouod have been much harder to move than any older child. If they are still in a cot, it would be even worse, unless you have a travel cot and have no idea about sleeping in a proper bed. Christmas is not the time to start getting them used to a bed. Think toddler waking up, walking around, crying or screaming becaus ethey have to go back to bed or simply falling off the bed. All things that can/will happen on the first night in a bed and will disturb everyone’s sleep including the MIL and all the other children.
I think it’s a recipe for disaster and will stress everybody.

I would have had any issue at all asking a 14yo to sleep with her brothers for one night. And I’m still not seeing why this seems to be such a huge no-no for people tbh. It’s inly for one night.

Can't she sleep on the sofa?
I wouldn't make the 14yo move out of her room.
Stick MIL in with the 2 year old, or blow up bed in lounge.

Teenagers need their own space/rooms much more than a 2 year old.

When we had visitors we moved ds into bed with us (until he was ok on mattress on floor), we have a superking so loads of room but if there wasn't dh would be on the spare mattress on the floor.

For goodness sake a 14 year old doesn’t need there own space for a couple of days. My own 14 year old dd volunteered her room for two days this Christmas.

*their