Sorry it’s a long one, sort of a AIBU/WWYD
So background, old school friend and his DW move into same village as us at a similar time, total coincidence. Know friend’s DW to talk to as met more than a few time’s over years at social events. She’s not from the area (whereas her DH and I grew up nearby) and didn’t have many close friends nearby. She requested me on FB and arranged to meet up. DH and I have our own business so I can be flexible and I often used to take Fridays off, friend used to always make arrangements with me to say go to pub on a Thurs night or to do something with her and her baby DD on the Fri during the day. Plus socialising with our DP. Over the past 6 years we became very close firm friends. About 3 years ago one of her old uni friends also moved to the village we’ll call her x, then another old uni friend of hers also moved in about 4 months later ( it’s a very lovely area obviously seen how much my friend loved it), we’ll call her y.
X is very much a high flyer no kids, Y had kids relatively young so they’re now tweens/teens. When this happened I was dropped like a hot potato for a short while, I kind of expected this - novelty of old closer friends moving nearby but was a little hurt, anyway over the weeks started hearing more from her and later that year went through a particularly difficult time and said friend was amazing. I did expect that us all living close by I would eventually be introduced to x and y especially as y doesn’t work and they seemed to do things on a Friday often. A lot of the time at a wine bar literally a few hundred yards from my house! But no invitations were only extended less than a handful of times. I obviously did get introduced to X and Y at birthdays kids parties etc. over the last few years and have got to know them well enough, they’re both lovely and we always seem to get on well. X and I have both worked in the same industry. I suspected that it was because my friend thought we wouldn’t get on but we obviously did or that X and Y were just been polite socially. But they both added me on social media and regularly leave really nice comments and like a lot of my posts and when my baby was finally born this year. They both left lovely thoughtful gifts and cards for DD with my friend - you wouldn’t do that if you didn’t like someone would you? Y and I bonded at an event over the summer as we both realised we have a similar health problem. And exchanged no’s and have met up a couple of times recently with original friend to chat about and both X and Y put nice Xmas cards threw our door this year. Throughout all this relationship with my friend has remained the same still makes arrangements with me, calls messages etc. and we still meet up lots just maybe not quite as much and maybe there is a sliver of something not quite right. Concurrent to this original friends DD started school 18 months ago and original friend got v friendly with one of the school mums - obviously. Once again I was dropped and once again they used to do lots of things with the kids minutes from my house friend also cancelled arrangements with me a few things to do things with shall we call her Z. Again met Z more than a few times over the past year, again v nice and we get on well but again no extended invites apart from once after my baby had been born at a time friend knew would be pretty impossible for me to make. Again hurt but our friendship has continued. In the past 6 months I’ve noticed though from past couple of parties we’ve been to and from social media, that X, Y and Z are clearly all now quite good friends and know each other better than I do and clearly do social things together with that must have originally been orchestrated by original friend. I have never been invited. I could understand if they all had kids same age day but they don’t. Also dropped original friend a note last wk to see if she was doing school pick up that day as was planning a walk with baby, she said no she wasn’t doing it and DH did it on that day now. However bumped into Y a few days later and she was talking about how she’d seen original friend that day after school with the kids for hot chocolates?!? Then on Friday we were at a Christmas party hosted by original friend and there ‘were a few oh yes well see you on New Years Eve’ Original friend looked across at me panicked (I’ve known her 6.5 yrs can read her like a book) and ushered them away she’s clearly hosting a NYE party to which we haven’t been invited and were clearly the only ones.
I am mortified and hurt I’ve tried to be a big girl about this over the years but this has been the final straw. I don’t know what I have done wrong or why we are being left out. I just think well if you don’t like me why are you still bothering with me and why are your friends being more than nice to me but I’m never invited to socialise. As I’ve been typing this she’s sent me a message about going to a family day at nearby country house between Xmas and NY?!? Just really confused. Have that horrible feeling at the pit of my stomach that I haven’t had since school, you know when you know somethings going on but you can’t quite put your finger on it?!
What should I do, I felt so embarrassed on Friday evening.