AIBU to ask you what you think if a young man has trembling hands

[ConfusedWife1234]

What is the first thing you would think of? Would you give it a second thought at all? This is just a poll cause I wanna know.

I'm 27.

I used to casually take coke with my friends and that would make my hands super shake the next day

However I hadn't touched it in more than 3 years and I still have a tremor, so I don't think you should judge too harshly. It's embarrassing

He’s wearing an explosive vest.

Cheesenpickles, this is probably a million pages from your post, but it would be worthwhile to get your husband tested for Huntington's. Involuntary movements, hand tremors, mental changes are symptoms. It's in my family - 6 or more family members have it and early symptoms as you describe sound like my uncle.

I know several people with shaky hands and the causes include MS, ASD, dyspraxia and chronic fatigue syndrome. So I wouldn't make any assumptions if I saw someone's hands shaking: it could be anything and it's none of my business.

Benign familial tremor aka essential tremor.
Actually quite common and severity can range from mild to very pronounced.
As the name suggests it's a hereditary condition but can skip generations.

Could also be a less common condition called dystonic tremor.
Severity of either condition does seem to increase with age and there are indications that in a small amount of people it can be related to Parkinsons but I think the data suggests the risk is still pretty low.

my brother in law has this, he's 35. He's been fully investigated for Parkinson's, tumours, etc and they can't find the cause.

I have trembling hand since childhood. Never was a disadvantage. Apart from never completing an egg & spoon race and preventing me qualifying as a brain surgeon.

Not read thread.
Men on one side of my family are prone to shakey hands when nervous.
I do as well, but to lesser extent.
So, not always sinister.
After 8 pages, guess that has been established already!

i have a benigh tremour had it checked out when i was 20 by a specialist he said do you want me to explain it in laymen s terms and i said yes "Every bodies hands shake yours just shake more than every one else" i was offered beta blockers for it when i asked for how long i would have to take them i was told the rest off my life , i am now 50 and still have it , stress , tiredness , alcohol ect make it worse it can go from not being noticeable to nearly throwing drinks across rooms , would get it checked out by a doctor

Despite what enlightened people on Mumsnet say, most people assume it is a drink problem, particularly if you happen to be picking up a glass of wine and your hand shakes so violently you spill it all over the floor.

You should have seen the knowing looks when that happened.

I always pick up things with my left hand now because though I'm right handed, my left is steadier. There's nothing I can do about my handwriting except slow right down and concentrate.

Mine's a neurological problem btw, but because I appear normal in all other respects, people who don't know think I'm a drunk even if my speech and thoughts are considerably more coherent than theirs. It doesn't help that I sometimes stumble, especially if I turn quickly, even when not drinking.

A few of the people who do know think I shouldn't have an alcoholic drink for my own good. I ignore them because none of them is medically qualified and it's none of their business.

Wtf ignore the above poster OP, most ppl DO NOT assume it's a drink problem!

I had this as a youngster. Really scared me. Thankfully I have a very rational father who told me to lay off the coffee.

IME they do ChocolateSnowball. Maybe your experience is different and that's lovely for you.

But outside the Mumsnet bubble the world is not full of people saying: 'Ooh! Maybe they have a hidden disability or are NT' when they see a child having a meltdown or an adult behaving oddly.

Even on MN there are plenty of threads where people don't do that.

There's nothing wrong with being one of the people who behave out of the norm - of whom I am one - but it's ridiculous to pretend that most 'normal' people don't understand and judge until the day they find themselves in the same boat.

I don't think OP and her husband should care about it or try to hide things if they don't want. But it happens. It's better that they should prepared for it and say 'sod it'.

I should have said:
"it's ridiculous to pretend that most 'normal' people do understand and don't judge until the day they find themselves in the same boat."

Lots of people have no idea of the problems people are going through and many of them want to believe they can overcome them if only they tried harder. It's silly to pretend otherwise

Bloody hell. I meant not NT

Like patq1967 I have a benign brain tumour. I manage it but can be clumsy. I no longer wear heels and always hold the handrail.

That doesn't stop no-nothing fusspots asking me whether I should have a glass of wine when they are pissed and I've just arrived.

I wouldn't think much of it tbh

limitedperiodonly know how you feel but just keep being you

I wouldn't think anything really. My BIL has had severely trembling hands for over 30 yrs and no real reason has ever been found although doctors seem convinced that it's something to do with the nervous system.

To my knowledge no-one has ever judged him (to his face anyway) and it hasn't held him back at all.

Despite what enlightened people on Mumsnet say, most people assume it is a drink problem,

See i don't think this it true in my case (I don't drink though so never pick up a wine glass) I'm not middle class by a long shot or in a particularly good area but when I've spoke to people about it truthfully it's always been things like "i thought it was nerves/anxiety/medication" never alcohol.

Of course people could be lying to me but I'd like to hope not.

limitedperiodonly I get the point you are making. And even if most won’t judge it’s always good to be prepared with a response for those that will and you need to learn not to care about what others think. They don’t know you and their opinions don’t matter.

Do you ever post something where it's in your head, but you don't actually write it down? That's what I did.

I was thinking of specific occasions when you are around alcohol but may not have been drinking to excess or even drinking at all. The time when I threw a full glass of wine all over the floor and innocent bystanders was my first drink in a few days at an office lunch. I heard later that someone said I was a functioning alcoholic who was so desperate for a drink that my hand shook uncontrollably in anticipation. He could tell - nice.

Another time I fell over like I'd been poleaxed - that sometimes happens which is why these days I wear flat shoes, potter like an old lady and always hold the handrail. Blood was pouring out of both nostrils and some people kindly put me in a taxi. The driver wouldn't accept any money when he dropped me off at A&E. For my part I bled into my scarf, not his seats

I was so ashamed of what they must have thought of me I kept saying I hadn't been drinking - I'd just left work - but it was Christmas and the streets were full of drinkers, I so I don't blame them for not believing me. At least they were kind. The hospital staff also assumed I was drunk but quickly realised I wasn't. The thing is, when they thought I was drunk, they were still very professional and concentrated on checking whether I'd done myself any serious damage rather than giving me a lecture.

Pandamodium I'm sure those people believed you but that may be because you don't drink, so there has to be another explanation rather than the obvious one fuelled by all those lurid TV shows and newspaper features on Binge Drinking Britain.

Many people are kind and imaginative but if there's an easy conclusion lots of people jump to it. Even if it's nothing to do with alcohol, people are so keen to diagnose stuff because of something they once read about a celebrity with Parkinsons when it could be something far less serious.

What I'm trying to say is that when you put alcohol into the mix everyone thinks they are an expert and can comment on your personal situation regardless of their own. I've had people earnestly ask me whether I should drink in my 'condition'. I always thank them for their advice but say I'll rely on my doctors rather than a random person with no medical training whatsoever. Very rarely do they realise I am taking the piss.

Like gamerwidow and patq1967 say, you have to learn to ignore people.

People at parties, I mean, when I'm wondering how they're going to get home. I'd never dream of asking them, btw

Limited that makes sense, I think I'm going off what I would think but so many years of mental illness and hospital trips I know all the things that could have shaking as a side effects.

I'm sorry if people have made assumptions about you or ever upset you, I