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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Sony to expect to be housed?

96 replies

Harmonyrays · 22/12/2018 15:58

I've reached s point of deciding I need to leave my marriage of 10 years. 2 children , 5 and 1. I've had enough and it's not right. Trouble is tenancy is in his name, I can't afford to rent privately (Too much debt). So if I turn up at council offices will they house me?

OP posts:
Original poster
Harmonyrays · 22/12/2018 16:02

Sorry should be aibu rather than Sony!

Also how hard is this to do?

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Original poster
Harmonyrays · 22/12/2018 16:14

Anyone? Please?

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IWannaBeYourFordCortina · 22/12/2018 16:15

They will add you to their housing waiting list

RUOKHUN · 22/12/2018 16:15

Didn’t wanna read and run. But I believe that it’s classed as making yourself intentially homeless. Are you safe? Is he violent/ emotionally abusive? Or has the relationship broken down?

Original poster
Harmonyrays · 22/12/2018 16:19

Thanks for the replies. Not violent but I would say emotionally to some degree. Also financial. Doesn't pull his weight enough.

I can't stay but I have no where to go

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loubluee · 22/12/2018 16:21

They will add you to the waiting list. Depending on the area at best you will get a 2 bed flat, at worst B&B. But you are making yourself intentionally homeless so won’t be high on their list. There’s just not enough housing, hence families are waiting for years in temporary accommodation. Why can’t your husband leave?

Original poster
Harmonyrays · 22/12/2018 16:23

It's his property, housing association. Never put me on the tenancy.

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Original poster
Harmonyrays · 22/12/2018 16:24

How do I do this, go to offices, online?

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abbsisspartacus · 22/12/2018 16:25

Offices are your best bet ask them for advice if they can help you they will

paintinmyhairAgain · 22/12/2018 16:25

i think i would speak to the council but more so c.a.b or possibly the charity, shelter for advice.

loubluee · 22/12/2018 16:26

On line on the housing association or council offices page. Depends on who has the housing for your area. There’s only one housing association that covers my area and the council no longer has any housing stock.

loubluee · 22/12/2018 16:27

Be prepared that you could be in for a long wait, and also housed far from where you are now.

Original poster
Harmonyrays · 22/12/2018 16:30

Confused this is why I've stated so long. All the debt is down to him, but obvs Iagreed

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bridgetreilly · 22/12/2018 16:32

Talk to Shelter. They may well be able to help you find temporary and longer-term accommodation.

KateAdiesEarrings · 22/12/2018 16:33

Either he is emotionally abusive or he isn't; either you've sought support concerning his abuse or you haven't. It can make a difference to how you are prioritised.
Regardless, you need to go to the housing association and meet with the housing officer. Presumably you're on the electoral register, etc, so can prove you've lived there even though you're not on the tenancy? They will then prioritise you accordingly.

paintinmyhairAgain · 22/12/2018 16:33

is the debt in joint names ? if it only his then he is liable for it and it's his problem. if it's joint you need to both talk about how you both plan to reduce it.

WilburforceRaven · 22/12/2018 16:33

The days of being able to rock up and be housed are long gone in most councils. You can't 'expect' much of anything and in some councils it will be a B&B, wherever they have space (which may be far from where you are now) then years in there until they find you a crappy private landlord who will accept such tenants.

You'd do well to look up how it works in your council or burgh.

Houseonahill · 22/12/2018 16:35

I would make an appointment to speak to the CAB, they are very helpful with situations like this and your rights, waiting list times etc.

sadeyedladyofthelowlandsea · 22/12/2018 16:39

It depends on your area/council etc. but I think you'd be classed as making yourself intentionally homeless, which would mean you'd be at the absolute bottom of the list - to give you some idea, I was within a week of being evicted (Ex arrested, stopped paying rent), single parent on benefits with two DC, victim of DV... and I was classed as 'low need' for housing.

Best bet is to check out what your local council says online, and then go from there - either make an appointment with a housing officer, or perhaps contact a local domestic violence charity who will be able to advise you as to the situation in your area. Mine were absolutely incredible & gave me all the information I needed.

Whatever happens, good luck, and I hope you get the result you need Flowers

Gravel1 · 22/12/2018 16:40

intentionally homeless your looking at a bed and breakfast may not be like the sort you find in holiday resorts ( although some of them are homeless hostels admittedly and some decidedly not nice places
have you discussed your intentions about taking the kids from their father.
This is a loaded post so much to consider.

Original poster
Harmonyrays · 22/12/2018 16:49

He doesn't know I'm planning to leave. If say anything he will talk his way around me and I'll 'give it another go's.

The debt is in my name, he convinced me at the time we needed things, cars holidays etc. Would get upset with me if I didn't.. It's around 60k.

Abuse is hard to quantify with him. He's goes quite if it's stuff to do with me. The kids, he mostly disagrees with what I say or want. He's happy to give the 5 yr old the iPad for hours, whole he watches tv. Says his job is tiring and he need to relax.

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Makatoned · 22/12/2018 16:52

Speak to women’s aid. I believe that if you chose to leave the property you make yourself homeless and if you purposely make yourself homeless they won’t necessarily house you straight away as they see it as your choice. However this may not be the case if you are not named on the tenancy. A call to your local housing office Monday should answer your questions

Thingsdogetbetter · 22/12/2018 16:54

You need to check with the housing association about your rights to the property as you're married.

You also need to get advice asap on your debts!! He might have persuaded/coerced you into them but legally they are yours.

youarenotkiddingme · 22/12/2018 16:55

If it's HA property you should have a housing officer.

Contact them for support as your first point of call.

Original poster
Harmonyrays · 22/12/2018 16:55

I know they're mine and I'm working on clear I g them but this is why I can't afford private rent. Without them it would be no problem.

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