Sony to expect to be housed?

[Harmonyrays]

I've reached s point of deciding I need to leave my marriage of 10 years. 2 children , 5 and 1. I've had enough and it's not right. Trouble is tenancy is in his name, I can't afford to rent privately (Too much debt). So if I turn up at council offices will they house me?

It’s not his property it’s the Housing Associations, go and see them or you could stay and get your name added to the Tenancy don’t just leave it a Jungle out there!

Steph. 😂😂😂

I left my ex due to dv, I had 1 child and it took 3 years and 6 or so months.
I was given a one bed.
I now have 3 children (done a house swap so in a two bed atm) and I've been waiting for a swap/another house for 10 months. Definetley not going to house you overnight I'm afraid.

If he is abusive emotionally or physically then I would highly recommend asking the likes of women's aid to help you navigate the housing issue.

I left my extremely abusive relationship and it took two family outreach workers to make the council back down on the "intentionally homeless" lark and then I was put in three b&bs before a hostel. It isn't pleasant or easy

For gods sake I think you’ve got a bloody cheek, you’ve just decided you want a fresh start at the council tax payers expense, never mind your ok 60k of debt, have not bothered to add your name to the teneacy and relationship broken up.

You’ll be making yourself intentionally homeless so it’ll be a B and B

If you decide to stay you need to address the issues with monetary blackmail etc. If he then threatens you get evidence of this. I know it’s not easy, but if you stay you will dig a bigger hole, but if you leave at the wrong time he may end up with the children and you stuck paying off the debt. When you say he gets upset what do you mean? Shouts/ghosts/hits?

I was made homeless legitimately due to landlord selling up and not being able to get a house due to being a single parent. (Wasn’t single when initially rented the house) so was Punted from b&b to b&b to a temp house with my children and you want to do that to your kids intentionally?

We are in limbo, my kids can’t settle and my stuff is all in storage we could be here 6 months or 6 years who knows. It’s not big enough but it’s a roof. Would I have done this to my family intentionally? No! Look into renting with same HA or go to the council and go on the list. Save for a deposit etc on a flat or house. But the council are very strict on who is ‘homeless’ and who they are statutorily obliged to rehouse - luckily (haha) we are to get a property eventually. It’s not a nice position to be in tbh.

I really hope you sort something out, I can sympathise with being in a bad relationship and If it’s abusive you need to seek appropriate help and support for both your and your children’s sakes.

I'm also in Buckinghamshire, and had a friend who was recently made homeless after her landlord decided to sell. She spent 11 weeks in a travel lodge with her three kids (1 room) before being allocated a temporary flat miles away from schools/work etc.

She's been told it could be a couple of years before they have a property she can move in to.

I just think that sadly you're very out of date as to how most social housing is these days and would be best to first see if you have a right to stay in the HA house you're in now.

YABU. You are a bad risk. I feel sorry for your children, but not for you.

* "I am shocked that you think you should be helped. You have made bad and weak and profligately extravagant choices and now you think the council will be able to fund a fresh start for you. As a tax payer who hasn't had a holiday for 7 years, and only got 1st car after much saving aged 44 I hope this isn't true. I am happy to pay taxes to support education, NHS, elderly, people in need, but not cases like this." *

.And that's precisely why you shouldn't have posted this in AIBU because you are going to get similar comments. And they have a point.

You need debt advice asap. You should never have just the man's name on a tenancy, (!!) especially when you have kds, and you should never allow someone to build up huge debt in your name but you have learnt this the hard way.

Might be worth looking into going bankrupt.

Then speak to the council. They would put you in emergency accommodation such as a hostel and advise you to privately rent as your housing banding would not be high priority.

It makes more sense for him to move out. Are any grandparents involved? They wouldn't want their grandchildren on the streets surely?

However hard things get surely the children cone first and why would a father who has got you into significant debt be happy to let you struggle with his kids ?

The things you have going for you are you do work full time and you don't live up North where council houses are now as rare as rocking horse shit.

I think the most important thing is to get rid of these deby=ts as quickly as possible. You need to get the advice of a debt counsellor from CAB. You will put yourself in an unbelievably vulnerable place if you walk out with this debt. If you and the children are not in danger I really would try and hang on in there until you are in a better financial position. If at all possible you should also drip a small amount into a saving account he doesn't know about and build up a deposit for a rental. Secure your future, don't just cut and run. Try and get on the tenancy agreement. It will give you more credibility and security

I was officially classed as homeless by our council after my house was repossessed. Exh left me and my two young kids and i couldn't pay the mortgage on my own and the house didn't sell. I had the maximum points available and it took a while year to get a housing association home and we were in awful temporary housing.

and you don't live up North where council houses are now as rare as rocking horse shit.

Someone from the OP's area was waiting for years so they are rare there, too.

As PP say, speak to Women's Aid:

www.womensaid.org.uk

Freephone: 0808 2000 247 and it's a 24hr service

Abuse is hard to quantify with him. He's goes quite if it's stuff to do with me. The kids, he mostly disagrees with what I say or want. He's happy to give the 5 yr old the iPad for hours, whole he watches tv. Says his job is tiring and he need to relax.

This is a bit confusing. What are you trying to say here OP?

Your husband doesn’t sound abusive . If the debts are in your name you need to take responsibility, can you contact one of the debt charities to get the interest frozen ?
Sounds to me like you’re fed up , the money is gone and you’re having to pay it back so now you want out . Life isn’t so black and white , your choices have consequences.

OP, I would seriously think about declaring bankruptcy. Don't saddle yourself with £60k debt. Talk to the CAB.

Stepchange is still open for calls today (debt charity) and their online support tool is always available:

www.stepchange.org

We close at 12.30pm Monday 24 December and reopen Thursday 27 December at 8am. Visit our contact us page to find out more. Our online debt advice tool is available 24/7.

Contact numbers:

www.stepchange.org/Contactus.aspx

Just curious what did you spend 60k ? Because that is alot of money !

Op you can't afford temporary housing, which is the best any council would give you - it's bizarrely expensive because there's lots of admin/business costs to running it and it's designed to be paid for by housing benefit so it's one council dept paying another. If you're working you'll have to pay and it's a lot more than private rent.
It's the same whether they put you in a temporary council flat (unlikely) or a b&b.

If your relationship has genuinely broken down and you have no right to the property (I'm not clear from your post if that is definite) then you might not be classed as intentionally homeless - BUT if your partner isn't kicking you out and you're under no threat then you might be. Intentionally homeless status rules you out of getting temp accom, but then we're still back to the previous point - you can't afford temp accom.

What you need is advice from shelter and cab re priority debts. The only route open to you is private a renting. Youn't afford housing because of other debts, but housing is a priority bill. You need financial advice to come to whatever agreement works for your circs so that you can use your income to pay for housing, then end the relationship and move out with your kids.

The problem with going bankrupt is that then you'll really struggle to get a private let. I'd call Stepchange, too. But you might have to stick with this guy until you both pay it back.

No woman should stay, just because you have nowhere else to go.
If you are not being threatened, or abused, you are just walking out, thus not much help apart from private.
If you feel as though there is going to be physical, or verbal threatening abuse when you do. or are actually going to leave, even if you are scared of what your partner might do, call womens aid, talk to them, if this arises, violence , abuse, they will help you before you get to this situation, but you have to be clear, if you are being emotionally or physical abused, or violence is pending, call womens aid.
Best wishes to you for 2019 hope it is a better one for you. sometimes you have to walk away, if your relationship its making you feel like this there is a problem, one which you dont want your little ones, getting caught in the middle of.

If you present yourself as homeless they will usually give you temporary accommodation, this can be a B&B, it doesn’t mean you become eligible for a council house.
You will be given one option of temporary accommodation and if you refuse it they will likely wash their hands of you.

Harsh but true