Sony to expect to be housed?

[Harmonyrays]

I've reached s point of deciding I need to leave my marriage of 10 years. 2 children , 5 and 1. I've had enough and it's not right. Trouble is tenancy is in his name, I can't afford to rent privately (Too much debt). So if I turn up at council offices will they house me?

It depends on the area but in London or the SE the very best you could hope for is temporary accommodation probably a room in a shared house the the option to be rehoused 200 miles away.
My sister left her violent husband with her 3 kids and the council wouldn’t rehouse her and the kids. There just isn’t the housing available. She’s has to rent privately and the only places available are shit holes because proper rental agencies won’t accept HB.

A lot of councils will never tell you, but they may have a fund, either grant or interest free loan where they will hand over a deposit to a private landlord (called the deposit guarantee system).

This is true (although it's very well publicised around here), but it won't help OP if she can't afford the rent because of debt. She is working and serving £60k of debt so she probably won't qualify for much in the way of help with rent.

Also; finding a landlord who will accept the DGS here is almost impossible. It's not really a loan, they agree a bond and no cash is paid, which makes landlords nervous.

No woman should stay, just because you have nowhere else to go.
If you are not being threatened, or abused, you are just walking out, thus not much help apart from private.

No, but the reality is that even if you are being abused, in many areas the only help you'll get is also private, there just isn't the stock anymore. The chances of getting council accommodation in many areas are slim to none.

The HB element of Universal Credit, if the OP qualifies for it, is based on your income, and doesn't take your personal debt into consideration.

Thank you for your helpful advice, I will be contacting step change as my first step and see what there advice, wi4hout the debt I would just about manage so I need to address that first. Temptation is to go now but I don't think,that is fair on the
Kids

Do you have anyone who would be willing to act as guarantor for you? Even if you get into a debt management plan, it will be hard to privately rent again because your credit will still be trashed.

@WilburforceRaven seriously would you be a guarantor to a close relation with 60k worth of debt?

I wouldn't.

I would rather stump up the deposit and something towards the rent but I wouldn't be a guarantor as there is only so much other people can afford to lose.

What is your salary and your monthly debt repayments?

You are likely best to go bankrupt to clear the debt.

Save enough for a deposit and first months rent and get a private let as soon as you can.

Letting a child on an iPad for hours isn’t the best parenting but certainly isn’t abusive.

No, I wouldn't, Amy, but realistically it might be the only way the OP is going to get a decent private let. That debt is staggering. We once had £4k on credit cards and were panicking (boiler had died right after we'd bought the house and we hadn't had time to rebuild savings, then DH drove on black ice and totalled his car) until we paid it off. We've got about £300 worth of debt now and it'll be paid off next week.

Save enough for a deposit and first months rent and get a private let as soon as you can.

The trouble with that it that will be very hard to get a decent private let (other than scammers on Gumtree and the like) after a bankruptcy for some time with no guarantor.

With that level of debt the bankruptcy will cost, too. Last I recall, SIL had to go bankrupt and had £35k worth of debt and it cost about £700.

There are some very ill informed posts on this post especially the person who wrote that the OP would be put in temporary & her children taken into foster care. In my experience children don't generally get taken into care purely because a parent is homeless - there are usually many other serious factors.. Single people without children and other issues (mental health problems etc) are less likely to be put in temporary housing/ b & b's which is why we have such a problem especially in the South East with street homelessness. Our local temporary housing/B&B facility has multiple families there. Social housing in such high demand - families could wait upwards of 5 years easily.
Would like to add that I think the OP is being given an unnecessarily hard time on this post. It's obviously a negative relationship & she's trying her best to improve the situation for her children. The debt is an issue but it sounds like her husband is much to blame for this. It would be nice to see a little more compassion towards the OP in a difficult situation.

You’ll be making yourself voluntarily homeless.

So we can all run up a 60k debt and get it written off ? My bills are always paid first. Then spare money is saved or over time is worked. I've had holidays, but they have all been paid for. A holiday is a luxury. If you live in HA, you are possibly already paying a below the local private rent/mortgage. Some banks throw credit at people, but you need to be able to afford to pay it back. You need to seek help asap with sorting out your finances.

To be fair he just sounds like a bit of a pain in the ass. Does he meet his kids' financial needs?
Why not work on your relationship instead?

These types of situations are why so many people don't leave abusive relationships. Financially controlling and emotionally abusive is classed as domestic violence. Not that it'll help you get a home, it took 3 years for my friend after her ex husband put her in hospital.

Contact debt advisors. With that amount of debt there are options for reducing it. Also, now would be a good time to start saving to leave. Some employers can do that directly from your paycheck to a credit union if you're scared of it being found out.

He doesn't sound abusive, which is a low bar to set obviously.

Have you contacted anyone with regards a debt relief order or similar?

So we can all run up a 60k debt and get it written off?
Yes we can, thanks how bankruptcy works.
Your credit will be trashed for years though and you won’t be able to find anyone who’ll rent you a house. Please have a go though if it sounds like fun.

please have a go though if it sounds like fun
There really are some very unpleasant posts on here this evening.

I understand how finances work. My bank is constantly sending me messages saying I can have a loan for this or that. Also offering me lots of credit on my credit card. The point is that I've been responsible and worked out what I can afford. I once had a job where I did credit checks on customers so I understand the implications. Perhaps, finances should be taught in schools ?

Thank you mumstaxi- you hit the nail on the head, I'm only trying to find a way improve the situation for the kids, me and also my husband. I don't think is happy either at times but tells me that he is. We have spoken today and I told him how I feel. Dare I say it was the usual of hell try harder, that I'm not seeing the positives (May be im not).

For now I will stay but I'm going to do something about the debt so that if nothing changes I will have an option.

This has has helped me realise it's not easy and i feel for women in more difficult situations than me as while it's not nice I dont think it really is abusive.

My sister and her husband separated and the tenancy was in his name. I can’t recall the details but she was allowed to remain in the property and he had to leave. It might be worth looking into? Maybe ask someone who specialises in this area - a housing solicitor preferably.

harmony I'm glad the thread has helped in some way. I would definitely speak to your housing officer about getting your name added to the tenancy as well as speak to step change. Good luck & Happy Christmas!