Unable to eat well, constipation and stuff

[ConfusedWife1234]

Hey there,
Dh has ptsd and has a plain horrible diet often eating lots of chocolate, nachos, cup cakes, stuff like this... and sometimes not eating at all... cannot get it down.
Recently I have learned all of that has to do with the nervous system of the gut.
A while ago hubby has discovered warmth (hot water bottle on the tummy) really helps him and fruit tea does. Do you know other things that help?

He has an eating disorder. He needs professional help. Get him to go to another GP.

I think his health should come before social obligations.

And if they truely cared about him, they would (1) understand his absence or (2) understand him not eating.

Maybe he could tweak things - cupcakes can be made with wholewheat flour, ground almonds (assuming he's not nut-allergic), he could try carrot cake and he could introduce higher-fibre crackers for example? It might be an improvement without shocking the system. Just an idea.

Can you focus on the positive that warmth helps and get him to graze on small amounts of fruit while he is in that relaxed state? If you are away from home try the excellent stick on heat patches from Wilkes or other pharmacies for sustained comfort.

Has he had any EMDR treatment? It’s Nice recommended for ptsd and for me it was very, very helpful and quite quickly. Unfortunately there is no instant remedy for his issues but small incremental steps could help him towards being healthier and the better he feels physically he should feel more able to continue to progress with his trauma and eating habits.

Drinking warm water is also good for constipation.

Eggy, ops husband is struggling to admit that to his doctor that he has anxiety caused by PTSD. He is unlikely to want his family to know that he has an eating disorder.

@EggysMom This is not so close familymembers and while his closest family members know he has ptsd the rest does not because he is deeply ashamed. I think they also do not know how difficult eating is for him sometimes. It would be good when he could talk to him but like I said he is a very proud man and often would rather bite off his tongue than talk about this to people who aren’t very close to him.

@GllicosCats Exactly what I am planing to do - tweak things.

Fybogel is a fibre supplement, but contains sweeteners. Try psyllium husk capsules and drink lots of water. Caricol is good if you can afford it. Apples are good, cut them up or cook them. Prebiotics will help

Laxido, movicol and cosmocol are all the same thing - macrogol based laxitives. They're very safe, gentle, and can be used long term without the risk of dependency. All they do is sit in the bowel and absorb water, making point softer and easier to pass. I've been on it for years and my two year old uses it too.

The ones that shouldn't be used long term are stimulant laxitives which trigger your bowel to contract, such as senna or bisacodyl. After a while your bowel can become dependent on them and stop working properly on its own.

Things that are easy to get down which might help with constipation: porridge, baked beans, vegetable or pea soup, soft fruits like mango, ripe pears, berries. Some breakfast cereals are good. Porridge could be sweetened with honey, or even chocolate if it's the sweetness of cupcakes he craves. Fruit cut into small pieces can seem more appetizing,

Orange juice with bits also good for constipation. Live yoghurt good for 9verall digestive health.

Maybe your dh could try to focus on getting a healthy breakfast down to start with and gradually work on improving his eating at other times?

Another thought is that dairy products can be constipating for some people. So the milkshakes could be contributing to the problem.

It's not an eating disorder, it's a function of his mental health. The fibre supplement benefibre contains inulin which is a prebiotic, if you can find it.
Meal replacement drinks better than milkshake, have vitamins maybe less sugar. Soya or almond or oat milk better than dairy
Rub your tummy clockwise, that's the direction things are moving in. Constipation will affect mood and poor diet make you depressed. Vicious cycle. Anything with beans is good, humus easy to eat. Just offer small quantity and build up. Also cabbage and carrots
Homeopathic remedy sulphur, look at St. John's wort for depression, but be careful if on other meds. Best of luck

He needs to go back to the GP. He may have to try different medication. Being “proud” is not a reason to avoid seeking medical advice. This is not a situation that you can cure with home remedies. He’s putting his physical health at real risk.

Most commercially available milk shakes are filthy.

No fibre, emulsifiers and vegetable oil all mixed together with artificial flavourings and colours.

McDonalds has one third vegetable oil. 🤮

Magnesium supplements may help as they can have a slight laxative effect. One or 2taken at bedtime may help with regularity with the added bonus that magnesium is good for helping you sleep.

Also Epsom salts are full of magnesium so if he likes baths then a bath with one or 2 mugs of Epsom salts may help relax his gut.

Massage the abdomen in a clockwise diamond pattern. So start under the ribs, press/massage down below and following the ribs out past the waist then from the waist to above pubic bone. Repeat reverse on the other side. Just think diamond ♦️ pattern in a clockwise direction. Do several times and you may feel movement in the gut.

@Wolfiefan I think so, yes, but right now he does not want to. I think I will try to talk him into it.
Like I said he is very proud and he is afraid that people will say he is crazy or that they will feel sorry for him, look down on him... actually he needs to whine a bit about ptsd quite often. He whines at me but he does not tell others.

Iv found porridge (even a small amount) with a nice strong coffee (americano) can get things moving. Dairy made it worse so use goats milk. But with that breakfast I can have a predictable timed motion in the morning.

Look at complan - milkshakes from chemist as they have vitamins and minerals.

WTFisaGleep, i’m not arguing that McD’s is a healthfood product but where have you got the one third vegetable oil info from? In the UK, the milkshake ingredients are as per the photo... (strawberry attached).

You need to stop making excuses for him. It’s not pride. It’s stupidity. He needs to be brave enough to seek help from the medical professionals who can actually help him. Stop trying to save him and bailing him out. He doesn’t get to whine. He needs to get a grip and get help. He’s being completely unfair on you.

Get some golden flaxseeds. A tablespoon left in an inch of water overnight, then drunk will bulk him up and help him. It has a lot of other benefits too.

If he can't tackle the overeating then perhaps bake stuff with high fibre content. Cakes and muffins and cupcakes made with wholemeal flour or added bran - applesauce as sweetener. Banana bread instead of cake. Carrot cake with wholemeal flour. Anything that can increase fibre content and satisfy sweetness.

Tesco do a wholegrain tortilla chip.

At social occasions. Just tell hosts he's on a liquid diet certain days due to an ongoing stomach issue.

If his ptsd is military related then get in touch with 'combat stress'. They deal specifically with veterans and get it in a way a civi can't (friends words not mine)

Instead of replacing with sugary milkshakes could he replace with meal replacement (or supplement) ones which have vit and minerals in? Laxido is a softener and could help, I wouldn’t call it hardcore at all. Do friends and family know about his struggles? If someone was coming over to mine for dinner I would take the pressure off by saying we take no offence if he doesnt eat or just nibbles. If not just say he is on some medication which is causing loss of appetite

I think you've had some excellent advice re Gp and also charities to support ex military personnel, but just in case this helps in the interim, our Gp said dried fruit helps attract water to the gut and therefore helps constipation, (eg raisins, dried apricot, etc?) would he eat that? Fruit juice eg apple might help more than a dairy based drink? Plenty of water is good too? As for other things, warm baths can help relax things?

Since no one has mentioned it yet, has he tried breathing exercises before? Deep, slow breathing can be a way of soothing the gut. If you Google, there are lots of different pages on belly breathing, diaphragmatic breathing, biofeedback, etc. There are probably apps too. The main thing is to find some guidance and not make it up as you go along. It doesn't need to take extra time -- it can be something he can do while sitting at his desk once he knows how.

I would also second the recommendation to get more fibre into him one way or another.

Anyway, it sounds like he needs to get some outside help and be upfront about the extent of the challenge.