Unable to eat well, constipation and stuff

[ConfusedWife1234]

Hey there,
Dh has ptsd and has a plain horrible diet often eating lots of chocolate, nachos, cup cakes, stuff like this... and sometimes not eating at all... cannot get it down.
Recently I have learned all of that has to do with the nervous system of the gut.
A while ago hubby has discovered warmth (hot water bottle on the tummy) really helps him and fruit tea does. Do you know other things that help?

No and I've looked for years to help my IBS! The closest I've come is peppermint tea but that gives me indigestion so just moves the problem.

My sister had PTSD from DV and it's incredibly hard to support someone even if they are engaging with help so I'm sorry I couldn't help more

He won't stay healthy eating shit like that.

He needs to engage with the therapy or he'll end up like Elvis.

Yeah. I know he is not eating well. He knows he is not eating well.
GP gave him a check up when he went there and through a miracle apart from constipation he is fit as a fiddle which is good news but actually quite a miracle I think... but the gp has warned him that his diet is really, really bad for him.

He works out... we have a home gym... so at least he works out.

Aah, bless you Confused. Men are a nightmare for that. Mine used to be like that, not going to doctor's, struggling on. Luckily he's better now, and does ask for help. Hope things get a little better. Anxiety is a terrible thing. And it is stigmatized amongst men.

Yeah, men are difficult to understand aren‘t they?

Start with this, perhaps.
fedup.com.au/factsheets/symptom-factsheets/constipation-and-psyllium

BTW, Josephine, what is DV?

Domestic violence

Thanks for your advice everybody. I‘ll push this up tomorrow because I still do think there might be a home remedy.

Try buscopan and mebeverine. They are antispasmodics and can really help (and be prescribed).

Vitamin B complex is all round good for the nerves. Ground linseed in hot water first thing in the morning is good for constipation and gastritis

The issue with laxatives is that you can’t use them over long periods of time as they can do damage; therefore, the GP is probably hesistant to recommend them for an ongoing bout of constipation. A close family member had exactly the same, and it was only with a change of medication and therapy he could eat ‘properly’.

Dietary wise - Prunes. He could try the prune puree things you get for weaning babies - adding to his milkshakes. Or there's a completely soluble unflavored powdered fibre he could try adding to his shakes, Google BeneFiber. Worth having an extra glass of water with this to aid the fibre.

I have used fybogel in the past, when I was pregnant as I suffered badly with constipation then. It worked really well for me, I just mixed it up like a shot, downed it then drank a big glass of water. Other things that rally helped me were citrus fruits - oranges and grapefruit.

His diet will do him serious injury in the long-term, and so will mental illness. It's really time to prioritise access to mental healthcareyour GP can help, but I understand your husband might feel too vulnerable to start there. Combat Stress have a helpline for veterans, which might be a good first step if your husband is reluctantmaybe he would feel safer to speak to people who understand the intensity of his experiences?

In the short term, however, these things help mild constipation: exercise, fluids++, warmth (as you discovered), abdominal massage, going to the toilet as soon as you feel you need to, using a footstool at the toilet so your knees are above your hips.

What milkshakes is he drinking? Are they dessert drinks, or meal replacements? A meal replacement with plenty of fibre (Huel is the only one I'm familiar with), or adding fibre (oats, flaxseeds, wheat bran) to homemade shakes would certainly be an improvement on chocolate and cupcakes.

You can get movicol over the counter from the chemist.

If his digestion gets worse with stress it might be worth seeing the gp for beta blockers. They have helped my dh with the physical reactions to stress.

Prune juice is the bomb for constipation. drink at least 500ml. should poop in 2 hours.

If he can drink but not eat, he could try huel. At least it is actually healthy and balanced.

I suffer because of medication I take. Here is what I use when it gets bad:-

Lactlose (over the counter at the pharmacy you have to ask for it)

Dried prunes to munch on

Prune juice

Orange juice if he won’t drink prune juice

Whole meal bread instead of white

Whole meal pasta (obviously won’t work on its own but in combination with the other stuff)

Probiotics

Hope one of these may help! I really feel for him, until I suffered I thought it just meant you found it hard to poo. I didn’t realise how painful it was too poo (And think a water melon is coming out only to find it was a smartie!), the stomach pains, the headaches, and generally how unwell it make you.

And as a PP has mentioned, sitting on the loo with his feet on a stool really helps- I can’t go without being in that position now, when I am constipated.

OP, there is a home remedy to help with his digestive problems, unfortunately it’s a change in diet, and it seems like persuading him of that will be difficult. I can see where your gp is coming from, as far as his guts are concerned, laxatives won’t solve the problem.

As others have said, seeking help for his mental distress needs to be the priority. And that’s where your big problem lies, because that ball is in his court. Sorry if that sounds harsh, I really do sympathise with you.

What kind of milkshakes? Just normal ones, vanilla ice, milk, maybe banana or the vanilla milk shakes from McDonald’s. It’s not always like this. Have to explain: He hates Christmas time. It stresses him and he has been feeling like he cannot really eat for days now. He ate some real meals but had to force them down (things he typically enjoys)... but that’s not always like this. Thanks God. Typically he eats a lot... but unhealthy stuff like cupcakes, really overeats on them... but when he goes trough a phase of being unable to eat... I think that this is not good. Maybe we should make the milkshakes more healthful.

He has such a step to bring you in a squatting position.

I sometimes rub his stomach a bit but do not know if this is really what you call a massage. I found several massage technics on the internet and do not know which one was the right one.

@Silentandquietnight He is seeing a therapist for CBT.
He actually cannot go to the lavatory as soon as he needs to because he hates public restrooms and he works 60 hours a week but has to wait until he is home. His GP said that it was important he goes as soon as he feels he needs to. I tried to tell him go was right and he should consider that - but no.
@loubluee Does it really suck that much? I stumbled over this: www.womenshealthmag.com/health/a19950881/constipation-causes/ and they say it is like childbirth. I really hope that it is only a really, really stupid metaphor. I never have bad constipation. I understand it ducks for him but hope it really ain’t that bad.

If Xmas stresses him this much, why do it? Why not just cozy up at home, have ready made food, eat what you like, sleep till noon Xmas day, go for a walk... just refuse to see anyone who is going to upset you. Refuse to eat anything you don’t like.

Do a total reset on Christmas, make it a time for relaxing and ending the year on a good note, refreshed and ready for 2019.

Also get some movicol, it really helps.

We unfortunately have social obligazions this year. A relative of his is having a big dinner including lots of people and several courses. We visit other family members and are expected in church.
He likes his family, they do not upset him. He just hates Christmas.