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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Hopping cross about front seat car seat , exh, nw and day trip

47 replies

Magentaorwagenta · 21/12/2018 18:07

Ex h has newish gf ie it's on and off alot with whom he also has a newborn baby. Today, exh, new gf, their one month old baby, her 2 year old DC and my 4 yo DC went to a theme park about an hour's drive on motor ways away. When he dropped her back I realised she - my 4 yo dd- had been in the front seat the whole time with new girlfriend in the back with her two dds!!! I felt so upset that my DD had been put in the front, air bags still on. Aibu???

OP posts:
Original poster
Magentaorwagenta · 21/12/2018 18:15

Anyone?!

OP posts:
RedHelenB · 21/12/2018 18:17

How do you know the airbags were on?

araiwa · 21/12/2018 18:28

Yes, youre a much better parent than either of them

Thats what you want to hear isnt it..

Original poster
Magentaorwagenta · 21/12/2018 18:35

He told me they were. I would have thought an adult should go in the front rather than a child.

OP posts:
Nicknacky · 21/12/2018 18:37

I imagined you asked rather than him volunteering that information!

It’s a judgement call and they chose to have the airbags working.

I can see why his girlfriend went in the back for an hour long journey when they have a newborn.

YouCantBeSadHoldingACupcake · 21/12/2018 18:38

Unless they have a massive car, chances are they couldn't fit 3 car seats in the back, so one needed to be in the front. Unless you would prefer your 4 year old to be in the middle of the backseat without a car seat

CanuckBC · 21/12/2018 18:40

Absolutely wrong. An airbag deployment can kill your 4 yr old. What idiots!!!

Catmum26 · 21/12/2018 18:40

maybe they couldn’t fit 3 car seats in the back of the car so that’s why gf had to sit in the back. also not sure what the relevance of ‘on and off gf’ has to do with the story. not ideal that your daughter sat in the front with airbags on but she got home safe and tbh i’m sure a lot of people have been left with no choice but to do that at some point. maybe just remind him of the dangers as he might not have realised. not worth getting upset over imo there was no harm done

Original poster
Magentaorwagenta · 21/12/2018 18:40

It's a massive car. Really? Would you get in the back with your newborn and have a small child in the front with air bags on, seriously?

OP posts:
WinkysTeatowel · 21/12/2018 18:45

Was your DD in a car seat?

ForgotTheBastardElfAgain · 21/12/2018 18:45

As long as she was in an appropriate seat then fine for me. I often travelled in the back with a new born if it was more than a 30 minute journey.
I’m sure someone will be able to tell me here, but when I googled it a few yrs ago, I could only find advice to turn the airbag off if the seat was rear facing. It was quite contradictory advice for a forward facing seat.
I thought you were going to say she wasn’t in a seat at all

Nicknacky · 21/12/2018 18:47

Yes of course I would get in the back with a newborn and put an older child in the front. As long as they are in an appropriate it is perfectly legal.

babysharkah · 21/12/2018 18:52

I don't think it is legal without disabling the airbags is it?

Original poster
Magentaorwagenta · 21/12/2018 18:53

I'm amazed - I would have always sat in the front with such young children in the back.

The air bag was on and she was in a car seat. There is room for three car seats in the back.

OP posts:
Nicknacky · 21/12/2018 18:54

Well, they have chosen to do different to you and that’s ok. It’s their call.

Nicknacky · 21/12/2018 18:54

baby It’s not illegal.

WinkysTeatowel · 21/12/2018 18:55

From car seat.org

Hopping cross about front seat car seat , exh, nw and day trip
Kitsandkids · 21/12/2018 18:55

Yes, they should have turned the airbags off but I’m sure it was an oversight rather than ‘ha ha, we left them on on purpose!’

When my baby was newborn there is no way I’d sit anywhere else other than in the back with her. In fact, even now, 18 months later, I still always sit in the back next to her. And one of my older children sits in the front.

ILoveMaxiBondi · 21/12/2018 18:57

I’d be annoyed you that he didn’t turn off the airbags. Also, I’ve never understood why people need to sit in the back with newborns.

Surfskatefamily · 21/12/2018 18:58

The front it fine. Airbags on is know to be highly dangerous. Ask exh to find out how to disable and request him to do next time

zzzzz · 21/12/2018 18:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

cricketmum84 · 21/12/2018 18:59

Hmm I think calling out "anyone?!" After 20 minutes of no replies is a little demanding. Are you usually like this with exh too?

3 child seats will not fit safely in the back of most family cars. I would imagine baby and 2yo are still in rear facing therefore not safe for the front seat.

Your DD has had a lovely day out and has been delivered home safely and the state of exh and gf relationship has nothing to do with this story.

Louise856 · 21/12/2018 19:02

OP I agree with you I would be really annoyed as well. All the people saying it doesn’t matter obviously must be pretty laidback about car safety, some parents are. Airbags can release even in a fairly minor crash and your child could have been killed, that gives you the right to be pretty livid as far as I’m concerned. The gf obviously put her wanting to be sat in the back with the baby above your child’s safety and your ex went along with it. Just wrong.

IWouldLikeToKnow · 21/12/2018 19:04

Although there may be "space" for three car seats, they may not be able to safely fit all three. And many people don't like leaving a newborn in the back unattended.

minniemummy0 · 21/12/2018 19:06

I definitely would go in the back with the newborn and put the oldest other child in the front. But I don’t understand why he didn’t just turn the airbags off, ours is easy to turn off an on, why wouldn’t you? That’s the only problem I’d have.

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