I have two year old twin boys who are absolutely wonderful. They are affectionate, funny and sweet but they both have difficulties. One has many health issues including a visual impairment and has recently been diagnosed with ASD. His brother is extremely bright but delayed in some areas and it’s looking likely he will be diagnosed with ASD too.
I made a lovely Mum friend about a year ago this year - we hit it off right away and would chat and visit often. She has two children, one is a similar age to my boys and one is younger.
She’s been very quiet recently, I know she’s had some other stuff going on - I’ve been supportive but obviously we haven’t known each other too long so I’ve just offered support whenever she needs it.
I haven’t seen her for a while and I messaged her recently asking if she’d like to meet up. She asked about the boys and I told her about the ASD diagnosis. She said that she doesn’t think we should hang out any more because it’s not good for her children’s development to “be around children who are challenged” (exact quote).
I could understand it if my boys had behavioural issues or were aggressive in some way but they aren’t at all - have never even pushed another child which I think is quite rare for toddlers! They don’t have tantrums or behave in a negative way that other kids could copy. They mainly just keep to themselves when others are around and don’t interact much, but I can’t see how that could be too damaging. When they come round it’s mainly for us to chat and the kids just play and do their own thing.
It has really deeply upset me - i’d rather she said she didn’t like me or some other personal issue with me. The thought that people are already using their difficulties to exclude them is just breaking my heart.
Is she being unreasonable or am I? Obviously I’m not going to stay in touch with her if this is how she feels, I’m just trying to get an unbiased opinion on whether she’s being reasonable here and whether this is just what’s going to keep happening now.