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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask she NOT bring the dog for Christmas

100 replies

ladylovesmilktray · 20/12/2018 18:26

Have invited a friend this Christmas for one night (Christmas Eve - Christmas Day) but she is insistent she bring her dog (a big Alsatian) who she has had nothing but problems with (toilet training and wrecking the place when she goes out and we are intending to go out Christmas Eve). It’s a fairly new dog hence these teething troubles. She lives at least 2.5 hours away so getting back easily for the dog if she didn’t bring it isn’t an option. AIBU?

OP posts:
TinselandToblerones · 20/12/2018 18:27

No, but I’d not be put out if she can’t come without the dog.

pumpkinpie01 · 20/12/2018 18:27

Does she know you are intending to go out Christmas Eve ? X

Original poster
ladylovesmilktray · 20/12/2018 18:28

Yes she is aware of the plans

OP posts:
Lockheart · 20/12/2018 18:28

YANBU, but it's unlikely she'd be able to get boarding for the dog at this short notice and on Christmas night, so don't be surprised if she can't come without the dog!

RitaTheBeater · 20/12/2018 18:28

Well if you don’t want the dog to come that’s your call. It’s your home.

She probably won’t come though.

Chottie · 20/12/2018 18:28

YANBU - I would hate her dog in my home too.....

Could you go and stay with her instead?

thewinehasgonetomyhead · 20/12/2018 18:28

I’d be kindly asking her to leave the dog at home and if she says she can’t I would say you will have to rearrange for another time when the dog is more settled and could possibly have a dog sitter whilst she is gone.

No way Jose.

Ragwort · 20/12/2018 18:28

Why are you only now having the discussion? Personally I would be really unhappy having an Alsatian (or any dog) in my house but if I knew my friend had a dog I would make it clear when I issued the invitation that I could not accommodate the dog.

Returnofthesmileybar · 20/12/2018 18:29

Nope yanbu, no way Jose, she comes alone or doesn't come at all. What do you mean though she's insistent? You say no, she says either ok or sorry I can't come, she can't insist she brings her dog after you have said no surely

onalongsabbatical · 20/12/2018 18:29

YANBU to not want the dog, but she is NBU to not want to leave the dog. To be honest, you've invited someone who can't come at the moment. Was the invite given before new dog was on the scene?

CurbsideProphet · 20/12/2018 18:29

Why invite her in the first place if you already know that she has a poorly trained dog and presumably no one at home to look after it?Confused

Celebelly · 20/12/2018 18:30

YANBU to ask her not to bring the dog and she is NBU if she's unable to make it as she'd need to find a dog-sitter and that's probably going to be tough for Xmas eve and this close to it. She shouldn't be 'insisting' anything though. It just sounds like it's not really feasible for her this year.

Pinot4me · 20/12/2018 18:30

Could you go out somewhere dog friendly so you dont have to leave it in your house? I think you have to accept that she probabaoy won’t come if she can’t bring her dog...

VietnameseCrispyFish · 20/12/2018 18:31

I don’t understand how a guest can ‘be insistent’ about bringing a dog to an event they’re invited to? It’s not her place. You’re stipulating the invite is for her only and not the dog, she can either accept the invite or decline. This really isn’t complicated :)

Jamiefraserskilt · 20/12/2018 18:31

Kennels or dogsitter or see you in the new year.
Your house your rules

MarthasGinYard · 20/12/2018 18:31

I'd never dream of expecting to take my dog to peoples houses.

Original poster
ladylovesmilktray · 20/12/2018 18:32

Yes she has already said if the dog can’t come then she can’t come which means I feel bad. She isn’t insisting she bring the dog despite my protestations. I just wondered if their are alternatives I haven’t thought of or wether IBU

OP posts:
Mitzimaybe · 20/12/2018 18:33

YANBU but it sounds like she won't be able to come.

starcrossedseahorse · 20/12/2018 18:33

If I was you I would tell her the dog cannot come.

If I was her I would stay with my dog at home. Grin

grandmistressflashette · 20/12/2018 18:33

Well where is she supposed to leave the dog overnight on Christmas Eve with such short notice?

YANBU to not want the dog in your house, but it's really crap of you to leave it this late to make it clear that if she brings the dog she's actually not welcome. You should have told her as soon as she first mentioned bringing the dog that the dog isn't invited, full stop.

NailsNeedDoing · 20/12/2018 18:34

By telling her at this late stage you are basically cancelling her Christmas for her. I don't think I could do that to someone I'm close enough to to have stay on Christmas Eve.

I probably wouldn't want a destructive dog staying at my house either, but she won't be able to find anyone to have the dog with this short notice and she can't leave it alone. To even consider leaving it alone is horrible.

Original poster
ladylovesmilktray · 20/12/2018 18:35

The plans are last min from both sides.

OP posts:
woolduvet · 20/12/2018 18:35

Go to hers and then it can wee in her house.

Celebelly · 20/12/2018 18:35

The only option would be a dogsitter or kennels. She can't leave the dog for a whole evening and overnight, particularly a new dog that is still settling in and adapting to living there. Even the journey to your house is probably as long as she's comfortable leaving him at the moment. We don't like to leave our girl longer than five hours, and she is completely house-trained and non-destructive.

adaline · 20/12/2018 18:35

Neither of you are being unreasonable.

It's okay for you not to want a dog in your home but it's equally okay for her not to come without her dog. Dogs can't be left overnight and need walks and toilet breaks in the day so she doesn't have much choice but to stay home if the dog can't come!

She won't find a dog sitter on Christmas Eve!