To ask she NOT bring the dog for Christmas

[ladylovesmilktray]

Have invited a friend this Christmas for one night (Christmas Eve - Christmas Day) but she is insistent she bring her dog (a big Alsatian) who she has had nothing but problems with (toilet training and wrecking the place when she goes out and we are intending to go out Christmas Eve). It’s a fairly new dog hence these teething troubles. She lives at least 2.5 hours away so getting back easily for the dog if she didn’t bring it isn’t an option. AIBU?

I wouldn’t want the dog at mine either but I’d also expect she wouldn’t be able to come

Thanks adaline- I think that pretty much sums it up!

'is a crate an option to borrow and have at yours whilst you are out?

It's very simple. You don't want the dog at your house, she quite rightly cannot leave the dog on their own. Plans have to be cancelled.

If it is a new dog which goes crazy if left alone at home, I can imagine it would be even worse being left in a strange place. The whole plan sounds like a non-starter: you are totally reasonable not to want an untrained dog staying in your house, the dog would get very stressed and your friend would not be happy. I'd cancel for everyone's sake.

It was unreasonable of you both to not consider the dog when making the plans in the first place-regardless of how late those plans were made.

If you don't want the dog in your house then the friend cannot come.

i dont know much about dogs but could she bring it if it only went in the kitchen and ourdoors? she could bring his bed and put it in your kitchen and take him outaide 3 or 4 times.

Where and for how long are you going out on christmas eve? perhaps she could just stay in when you go out but at least have your company on christmas day.

You can tell her not to bring the dog but fully expect her to tell you she isn't coming.

I wouldn't go anywhere for xmas without ny dog.

My mum refuses to leave her dog at home if she is staying anywhere. The dog comes first a lot of the time. It can be frustrating.

You really should’ve discussed this when you first invited and she first mentioned bringing the dog so YABU for letting her assume it was fine until 20th December

YANBU to not want a poorly trained dog in your home but need to accept that may well mean your friend doesn’t come (as you’ve left it so late she may well not have a choice as she may be unable to find somewhere for the dog to go).

I agree with a pp that the dogs behavior problems will probably become worse in a strange house and you wont be able to go out on xmas eve.

She's chosen to get a new dog which is big and has problems. It shouldn't come as a shock to her that life is a bit less spontaneous now.

I'd apologise profusely and say that you can't accept the dog in your home for all your sake's and arrange to see her at hers after xmas.

CloserIAm2Fine OP has said it's a last minute suggestion. The friend coming over.

My mum refuses to leave her dog at home if she is staying anywhere.

Dogs can't be left for hours on end, it's not fair on them. They need walks, company, stimulation and toilet breaks! Dog walkers/sitters are expensive too and are often booked up weeks in advance.

People don’t seem to realise that when you own a pet you have a huge responsibility. They cannot be just left behind while their owners go out. They say an adult dog shouldn’t be left longer than 4 hours at a time without toilet breaks etc. I’d never leave my dogs overnight or any longer than 4 hours without having someone there to take care of them.

Well if you still want her to come why don't you just stay home Christmas eve then presumably dig won't go berserk? She is daft though for not thinking about the logistics of dog.

She is daft though for not thinking about the logistics of dog.

Presumably she thought the dog could come with her, seeing as OP knows of its existence?

It is not normal to bring pets into other people’s homes. If she can’t get a pet sitter you should not feel guilty.

She can't leave the dog alone overnight or for a long period of time. While I get that you don't want this animal in your house, you are being very out of order to expect her to come and leave it behind, especially when she did not have it long. I would stay home too. And find nicer friends that dont treat animals this way.

Simples:-she can NOT leave the dog! They need regular toilet breaks etc.

Adeline, I think it is daft to assume your dog can come too. Doubly so if it is large and destructive. I have a dog and would never assume he was welcome.

Temptress - way harsh! I don’t treat animals in a cruel way if that’s what you’re implying. Merry Christmas - bloody hell!

Very weird to assume you could bring your dog, especially a large and destructive one! I would never assume that if a friend invited me over my large dog was invited too.

Ignore the professionally offended OP.

You can’t have the dog in your home. The plans won’t work. Did neither of you bring it up when you invited her?

I have a similar dilemma. My sister usually stays over Christmas Eve and my dad dog sits her dog. This year the dog is elderly (although that didn't happen all of a sudden) and has incontinence issues so she won't leave it with my dad but she's asked to bring the dog overnight and for Christmas Day! I have 3 cats who hate dogs, I'm having the whole family here for Christmas Day and tbh I don't want a smelly old dog pissing all over my house either! But I feel bad as she always stays over Christmas Eve. But I understand she can't leave the dog.