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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

What do you want for xmas he asks?

108 replies

madmum5811 · 20/12/2018 15:40

OH wanted to buy me a car. But not any car, one he had chosen, a hybrid, low cc. no car tax, etc. etc. I said I would prefer to stick to my 12 year old mini cooper convertible, which is fun to drive. So am I being unreasonable, he gets to choose his cars and changes them every few years.

Mine needs a good service after six years and he is moaning about the cost. If his sneezes it goes to the garage. I could bloody scream.

OP posts:
DianaT1969 · 21/12/2018 09:42

LTB
Get thee to a women's refuge. Nobody should have to put up with new cars forced upon them. Despicable behaviour.
Disclaimer: I haven't read the whiole thread, so if there was a drip-feed and he is actually abusive, hmmmm [exit]

ThinkOfAWittyNameLater · 21/12/2018 10:20

I am aghast at some of the replies on this thread.

It's not work if your not getting paid?! Wow. I guess all SAHP should shut the fuck up then about "help" for housework & childcare from their working partners, eh? After all they don't get paid so it's not real work. Unbelievable.

OP's husband is trying to dictate what car she drives. He's not listening to OP when she says she is perfectly happy with the car she has now. He wants to override her wishes, her happiness for his own.

Dictate. Control. Demand.

Since when do mumsnetters think these behaviours in a relationship are okay?!

PineapplePower · 21/12/2018 10:22

Uggghhhh keep your car you love it and it’s annoying to force presents on others. Just because it’s a car doesn’t make it any different.

I’m more concerned you get an allowance from your husband. Isn’t it considered family money? Don’t you consider him tight? He sounds a right tight bastard.

DontCallMeCharlotte · 21/12/2018 10:25

Sorry, OP for earlier job comment, it wasn't clear you were at the grandparent stage of life and presumably approaching retirement age anyway?

It does sound like you have a DH problem though so I hope you can channel your inner lioness and stand up to him.

adaline · 21/12/2018 10:31

This thread is like stepping into an alternate universe!

OP, YANBU. You're happy with your car, you pay for your car - it's not upto your DH to buy you a new one no matter how expensive or eco-friendly it might be!

But I do think you need to look at the way your families' finances work. Your DH can afford brand new cars and you struggle each year and have to ask him for help sometimes? Why do you not have full access to all the family funds?

DogMamma · 21/12/2018 10:32

Th bought both his and my car at auction after buying a excellent condition Volvo for himself and loved it he was adamant I should have one he said they feel much safer to drive than my I quote "bean can" and at every opportunity got me to drive his to bend me towards a bigger (tank) but I stuck to what I know a smaller car I got a new (3rd hand) focus (newer model) I love my little car i dont feel like a lego man trying to drive a limo,
He tried everything bless him and his car is really nice to drive but its just too big for me. I don't mind driving it on a motor way but just to nip to Tesco or take the dogs out my little bean can will do

DogMamma · 21/12/2018 10:35

I'll add my car was a I beat cancer and birthday gift, I can buy my own car if i want he doesn't dictate to me.. though still continues to try get me towards a bigger car

YetAnotherSpartacus · 21/12/2018 10:41

Keep your car and tell the controlling bastard to fuck off and ignore the jealous posters on here too. Chances are if their OP foisted something on them they'd complain.

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