What do you want for xmas he asks?

[madmum5811]

OH wanted to buy me a car. But not any car, one he had chosen, a hybrid, low cc. no car tax, etc. etc. I said I would prefer to stick to my 12 year old mini cooper convertible, which is fun to drive. So am I being unreasonable, he gets to choose his cars and changes them every few years.

Mine needs a good service after six years and he is moaning about the cost. If his sneezes it goes to the garage. I could bloody scream.

No.... Don't put up with that.
I would hate that type of car.
My DD has a mini - she loves it.
Don't give it up if you don't want to.
Is he controlling in other ways?
Why can't you buy your own cars?
You have to be blunt and honest with him.

It isn’t environmentally friendly to dispose of a perfectly good car. YANBU. You do need to keep on top of servicing though to ensure you are not polluting.

Totally missing point of thread. 35k in 12 years?!? You don't drive enough to need to be particularly environmentally friendly

I did ask for something else for xmas a pair of wireless earbuds so I can listen to netflix without disturbing him in bed at night sigh...

YANBU you should be able to choose your own car. Either that or you get to dictate when and what his next car is.

When we lived in Oz, I chose the car I wanted, dh came back with a bigger car I didn’t want, so yes I know where you’re coming from op. Dds were small at the time, and I didn’t have the energy to go sort my car out after we moved, and I was unpacking everything 🤔

I have never let my dh choose a car for me ever again. I wanted a Nissan Dualis (Qashqi here), but he went and chose an X-trail which had as much power as a snail.

Stick with your mini if you’re happy with it.

YANBU I bloody loved my Mini Cooper and it was a dream to drive (also 12 years old). Maintenance for it was really low, in 4 years I needed new tyres once and had one big service...car ran like a dream!

I now have a sensible bloody mummy car and it's dull and boring and dreadfully sensible.

@madmum5811 keep the Mini and save to buy yourself your next one...I'm already eyeing up my next Mini

I wouldn't let someone else choose my car - if I have to drive it then I want to choose it.

Buy your own cars if you want. I don't get this at all. Earn your own money, buy your own car, exchange small tokens for Christmas. And don't be ageist please OP. Many "grans" are and have been far more feminist minded than you appear to be.

I really don't understand this. Cars aren't presents. Buy your own car and make your own choices about it, and tell him that's what you're doing.

Why is it a "sigh" to not disturb your husband in bed at night. If someone was watching Netflix with no headphones in bed while I was trying to sleep, I'd be kicking them out of the bedroom.

I really don't understand all this he won't do this or he won't buy me that car..... Why can't you buy your own car?

Longdistance you made me laugh, OH bought an X trail, I hated driving it, ok if you have a caravan to pull otherwise a bloody nightmare to park in town and sluggish. DIL`s have the Qashqai, which they consider work horses with small children necessary though.

She’s not bloody asking him to buy her a car! He’s trying to force one on her when she’s perfectly happy with the one she has!

I cannot buy my own car, he would go nuts, thinks I know nothing about cars sigh... I do not earn a lot, he does earn so has a bit of clout financially.

Oops that might have been a rhetorical question....

I dunno, it just really pisses me off this, ‘I man, you little woman’ crap.

@madmum5811 I've got a hybrid albeit it's a 1.8. It's not a gutless car 🤷🏼‍♀️

Buy your own car! Why is he buying your car for you?

If he’s buying it, he should get to choose it

Also

I would buy my own car if I had the money to spare just to save the disagreement.

I cannot buy my own car, he would go nuts

Earn your own money, buy your own car, don't let a bloke dictate to you in this way?

He's right in theory. I'd trade in a 12 year old Mini too; but I'd trade it in for a younger Mini in the same design if you don't want to change it. Just to make it more economical.

He shouldn't be pushing his car choices onto you. Does he do this about anything else? I couldn't be with someone who lorded it over me because they earned more. I'd either ensure we earned equal money and make my own calls, or break it off. Probably the former to start with; if the rest of the relationship was good!

Just tell him FFS.

Or would he just not buy you anything?

Yanbu. My fiesta died not long ago. Everything I suggested was rubbished by DP as being too shitty or whatever. I was looking at cheapy run arounds to last a few months til we move. He wouldn't even go and look at them.

Then I saw a convertible Nissan Micra sport in baby blue with a few pink butterfly decals on it. It bumped the insurance up a bit and the tax is about £200 odd whereas the fiesta was £35.

Guess what car I've got now

Put your foot down, you're the one that has to drive around in it.

Complete fallacy to say newer, hybrid car is automatically more environmentally friendly. The main (approximately 80%) environmental impact of a car is through carbon pollution produced during its manufacture. So a ‘new box’ which is poorly and cheaply built and likely to be scrapped after ten years is much worse than the OP’s relatively low mileage Mini, which she thoroughly enjoys driving. That’s before you consider the instant depreciation that happens when you buy even a second hand ‘new’ car - so the cost of repairs to the Mini is really a moot point. I agree with you OP!