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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

What do you want for xmas he asks?

108 replies

madmum5811 · 20/12/2018 15:40

OH wanted to buy me a car. But not any car, one he had chosen, a hybrid, low cc. no car tax, etc. etc. I said I would prefer to stick to my 12 year old mini cooper convertible, which is fun to drive. So am I being unreasonable, he gets to choose his cars and changes them every few years.

Mine needs a good service after six years and he is moaning about the cost. If his sneezes it goes to the garage. I could bloody scream.

OP posts:
HolgerLowCarbingLoser · 20/12/2018 17:15

Really?? If he’s buying it he should get to choose it??

Utter rubbish.

SouthWestmom · 20/12/2018 17:42

Fucking hell im surprised at this op. Where's all the whining about 'family money' MN is so keen on?

No way should it be his money his choice. If this was your MiL guaranteed it would be different answers

EerieSilence · 20/12/2018 17:46

If you are that modern and emancipated, why don't you buy your car from your own money? It's what I do and my DH has little saying in it, unless I want to buy something totally extravagant and oil guzzling, which isn't my thing.

ree348 · 20/12/2018 17:53

YANBU - if he wants to get you a car it should be of your choice not his. Cheeky!

SlowNorris · 20/12/2018 17:54

Of course Confused

MrsStrowman · 20/12/2018 17:56

Novel idea but If you want to choose your own car buy it yourself?

SlowNorris · 20/12/2018 17:59

Exactly!

madmum5811 · 20/12/2018 19:11

I have tried to explain I have around £400 to last me until sometime in January. Now I would love to know how I could afford to buy a car with that. My annual income is from some shares and an allowance OH gives me. Around 8k in total. Out of that I have to pay for my car, buy presents for family, clothes for myself, pay for wifi, phone, netflix. I am always scratching around and occasionally have to ask OH for a bit of help.

OP posts:
madmum5811 · 20/12/2018 19:11

Had three children have been through the family practical car stage, now I would just like a bit of fun, which I have with my little mini.

OP posts:
bsc · 20/12/2018 19:51

He gives you an allowance?
I am often amazed how some people live... if you're married, why don't you have full access to all family money?
Though we commit the anti-MN sin if having separate accounts it's never an issue because one of us always gives the other money if they need it.

DontCallMeCharlotte · 20/12/2018 20:46

Had three children have been through the family practical car stage

Ummmm, so maybe time to get a job?

Sorry I'm coming across as a bit snide - I'm really not!

madmum5811 · 20/12/2018 20:55

Charlotte I have a sort of job. I look after four grandchildren during the week.

OP posts:
SlowNorris · 20/12/2018 20:59

You don’t have a job. Be grateful that someone is buying you a car.

BarbaraofSevillle · 20/12/2018 21:11

Sounds like you should keep the Mini until it starts costing you money.

However, if you count nearly £700 a month to run a car and your own spending money 'scratching around' maybe you should look at what you are spending your money on as that's loads.

If your grandchildren are costing you money for travel, activities, food etc, perhaps their parents should contribute towards these?

madmum5811 · 20/12/2018 21:32

Car £1500 pa
Phone, internet, sky, netflix £900 pa.
I have my hair/eyebrows/face wax done every three months £500 pa.
Clothes £600 pa
mobile £120 pa

That is half the money spent. Then driving lessons for son £30 per week at the moment. Birthday and christmas presents for twelve close family members.

My indulgence is my kindle purchases, I could cut back there.

Sons treat of a McDonalds once a week is £8.

It would take me years to save up for a car...

OP posts:
Cherries101 · 20/12/2018 22:11

I pay £6 for my face (threading) every four weeks plus 40 every twelve weeks for a dry hair cut and I love in an expensive part of the world . I can’t imagine paying £500 per year on this and I can afford a new car!!

madmum5811 · 20/12/2018 22:21

I worked six days a week for forty two years. Barring a five year gap when the children were born. I think I am entitled to have my hair coloured and cut professionally. I have only been using a hairdresser for the last four years, before that I used a box of hair dye and a friend trimmed it. My DIL`s persuaded me to visit their hairdresser and I was hooked.

As I said it would take me years to save for a new car which I presume to be around £15k, would that be right.

OP posts:
Nanny0gg · 20/12/2018 22:22

Or have I morphed into gransnet by accident.

Speaking as a Gran, I buy my own car.

Nanny0gg · 20/12/2018 22:23

You don’t have a job. Be grateful that someone is buying you a car.

Doesn't have a job? Oh. Only paid employment outside the home counts, yes?

No.

madmum5811 · 20/12/2018 22:24

We are a bit off topic here. The point is I am happy with my car and do not want a hybrid box.

OP posts:
Cherries101 · 20/12/2018 22:27

You are entitled to fritter away as much money as you like OP, but then don’t complain when your need to rely on dh’s money comes with strings.

SlowNorris · 20/12/2018 22:29

Doesn't have a job? Oh. Only paid employment outside the home counts, yes?

Yes Confused unless you work from home of course.

madmum5811 · 20/12/2018 22:31

I guess looking after four grand children doesn`t count as a job. It sure feels as tiring as one lol

OP posts:
doris9034 · 20/12/2018 22:35

Is this actually the real world?!?!

SlowNorris · 20/12/2018 22:36

I’m not sure anymore