Struggling with jealousy over gifts

[WhoPooped]

I love my DP and SCs very much, no drama, no major issues, we all get along very well.

However one thing that is massively irking me is the gifts SD13 receives. I have 2 DC of my own (not DPs, from a previous relationship) and I like to buy them nice things for their birthdays and Christmas. Admittedly they are a bit younger than my eldest SD and their tastes are not so extravagant yet.
So I’m mid-30s, work 50 hours a week on average and earn a good wage so I’m not poor by any standards.

Eldest SD has had at least £700 spent on her for Christmas by DP (and a good few hundred from her mum too). Her Christmas list is extremely extravagant for a 13yo imho. It includes

• Vivienne Westwood necklace
• Vivienne Westwood bracelet
• Vivienne Westwood earrings
• Victoria’s Secret pjs
• Victoria’s Secret dressing gown
• Armani perfume
• Christian louboutin lipstick

Plus many other lovely but expensive things. I do not begrudge people spoiling their kids but AIBU to feel like these luxury items are things most adult full-time working women would aspire and save up to have?
Her birthday is not long after Christmas and she has requested £400 trainers. DP and her mum are buying them between them so it’s not the cost of it per se, but I feel like if she is just given these things so easily and freely that she’ll end up spoilt with no value for how much things cost?

To put it into perspective my DP earns an average wage and her mum is unemployed so I’m unsure how either of them are affording these things either?

Like I said I earn a good wage and work hard but I’m wearing bog standard high street clothes and I have to admit it is annoying me seeing a 13yo strolling into my home wearing things I wish I could own but can’t afford to.

AIBU to be slightly (secretly) annoyed at this?

Op I hope no one talks about your dc like you have, the more agreement you've received the more nasty and jealous you've got!

If you and your DP live together with your children, all the children should be treated equally at yours.

But you cannot dictate what her mum does or doesn't buy for her. Your children will learn that there will always be people who have more and people who have less than they do. You can't tell her mum how to spend her money.

@rubyslipper1 lazy journalists scour these threads then publish them in the daily mail quite regularly.
My last thread was published on their website. It can be mortifying

Gah! It is quite specific. Delete! But good luck!

@Christmasisforadults2 where have I said anything negative about SD?
I have said how inappropriate the VS pjs are, and I’m worried she’s becoming spoilt. That’s it

@whopooped , wow . gosh hope you get it deleted then . and you should just treat yourself to something nice. x

I would interpret "offering " as parent saying "do you want" and child unsurprisingly says yes. This appears to be child "demanding" and adult obeying and getting it.

Ok “demanding” isn’t the right term. She isn’t stamping her foot or acting like brat but she puts extreme pressure on DP in particular about him buying her certain things.
It’s his fault because he caves, not hers

I'm 50 and I don't know Vivienne Westwood. I know she is a designer but don't know of what and don't really care!

That was at Christmas, not at you OP, but it's the not putting foot down that allows this cycle to go on, I agree. Sorry, hope that's clearer.

Your tone and they way you refer to her.
Her spoilt behaviour could run off on your dc etc.

My DD is 15 and her Christmas list also has VW earrings on it as well as VS pyjamas. Must be a thing.

Yes I think it will influence her sister and also my DD. They will be aware of what’s she’s getting and her sister (my other SD) will definitely pick up on it as the sibling rivalry is strong between them. It’s not me being mean but it’s a fact!
My own kids would literally count the Malteasers from a packet to ensure that their brother/sister wouldn't get more than them 😂 that’s normal kid stuff!

@Christmasisforadults2
Above comment was in response to you

If we start spending £700 per kid at Christmas then we’d be bankrupt!

She's 13 not an adult.
@DSHathawayGivesMeFannyGallops she isn't getting one item but loads, so her parents have agreed/ offered.

I wouldn’t say they’ve “offered”, but they have refused.

Haven’t* refused

I can see what you mean, Christmas.

I'm not saying it's right, what I'm saying is she is 13 and her request for such items that are given to her doesn't mean she's going to grow up to be a gold diggers.
Also I get that, but what you offer your own dc at times will not be enough because of school friends and celebrities.
I just don't understand how such blame has been put on a 13yr old.

I just don't understand how such blame has been put on a 13yr old
It hasn’t? I’ve said several times I blame her parents

@Christmasisforadults2 have you RTFT?

It's not really her fault I agree. My parents would have laughed at such a list... Then possibly considered getting me ONE of the items from it if it wasn't too outrageous. Champagne taste, beer money is how my parents would refer to such expectations as.

I think they are trying to make up for something . Was the split messy and they are buying her happiness ?

They split 10 years ago so I don’t think it’s that tbh