To regret helping a stranger

[regrethelp]

I was stopped by a lady in a 2 seater convertible that she forgot her purse in a building nearby. Building was locked and she had not enough fuel to drive all the way home (outside London).
She wanted money for fuel. She drove me to nearby ATM machine and I withdrew money to lend her.
She told me she is an artist, I can find her online. Only told me her first name. I trusted her and didn't check details. She said she comes to my area 2 times a week to work on a stained glass project.
She promised to call in 3 hours. It's been over 2 days I haven't heard from her.
I sent her text and called her and got no response (her number is valid, she gave me missed call for me to have her number).
I feel stupid. Amount is not that big (£40) but I told her politely I am out of work and would need money back.
I usually help people (friends/family)going out of my way and most times I have found those people unappreciative.
I don't want to chase the lady but I feel very upset for being taken advantage one more time. I am feeling worse also because I am in abusive relationship and already feel pretty depressed.

lostinjapan and allthegoodusernameshavegone Please show me where I have asked for any money. Because I wasn't even thinking of that. Stop accusing unless you saw me asking for money in any of my posts.
I came here for some emotional support as I was feeling very sad about being duped.
I didn't say I am poor. I even said £40 is not a big amount but since I am not working I had told that person I would need it back. Amount is not that big (£40) - from my OP

Please stop speculating. I posted here because I felt really let down after I tried to help a stranger going out of my way. Since I am going through a difficult time already, I felt far worse emotionally.

I helped her because she seemed to be in early 60s and had to travel far.
I agree I should've thought of myself first. I have now realised I could've been in much worse situation. I have acted silly. I have learnt a lesson from this.

Thanks to everyone else. You have been very kind to me. I feel much better now.
To those who think I will struggle during Christmas time, I won't. I am not broke at all. I used to work and earn decent money. I have savings. But since I am unemployed right now, I don't want to throw £40 just like that. I would like to be careful with how I spend unless I start earning again.
I am depressed. My h has anger issues and gets verbally abusive. I won't get more into details as I do not want to be accused by some posters of gaining sympathy to get money out of strangers.

Thanks a lot user764329056.

I have written that amount off. I was far sad about being taken advantage of when all I was doing was to help than about losing money.

*far more sad...

Sorry for typos

How many £40 did she scam that day?
You've been had.
Easy to download pictures on her phone to pretend she is this person.
Go find her on FB and see if the face matches the work. If so then you could use it to make contact. If not, you will know for sure.

I think you did a very kind, charitable thing.

I also hope she gets a big karma shaped hoof up her hole for being a con artist.

Hello OP.
If you’re genuine, here are my thoughts:
You seem to be driven by the need to keep others happy at the sake of yourself. Your husband and this stranger; it’s the same root issue at the bottom of it and until you acknowledge and tackle that, I fear you will continue to be vulnerable to these sorts of things.

Please leave your abusive relationship. Go to your GP and ask for some meds and a referral to the Freedom programme.

You don’t have to spend the rest of your life as a victim.

I wish you all the best x

Sorry I didn’t read the thread but surely if she can drive you to the ATM she can withdraw some cash herself? Who would drive all the way into London without the ability to get home? I’m sorry you were so kind and she took advantage of you.

I have t say this is about as low as it gets..... :I was scammed oh and by the way am in an abusive relationship,” it’s bound to set the sympathy in motion given there are a lot of mn’ers who are genuinely in abusive relationships....

Summergem, you are a very unkind person. Please stop calling me stupid and scammer when I didn't ask for any money.

Everything I wrote here is 100% true. I believed that lady as she was about 60 years old, and as she seemed to afford a nice car, phone etc, I had no reason to believe she would dupe me for an amount as small as £40.

I have posted at least over 5 times in this thread, please show me where I have asked for money.

Just to clarify again, I am NOT BROKE and HAVE money for Christmas.

Neweternal, thanks for your kind gesture. But I have been accused of gaining sympathy to get money from people here because of your post.

So I request you to not offer money without being asked. I wasn't begging for money here.

I have not asked money or suggested I am broke.
I made a mistake of trusting an old lady who seemed to be well off to dupe people for an amount as small. It was only 2 seater and there was no-one else. I would never do stupidity of sitting in a car like this again.

You are very wrong to call a woman in her early sixties, “an old woman”

Thank you Spamfrittersforeveryone, I agree with your post. But not sure about Freedom programme as I checked it before and it seems to be for people who are in very abusive relationships. In my case, h has temper issues and says very harsh things in the heat of the moment and leaves home, etc. More like temper tantrum but still very traumatic.
Freedom programme seemed to be for partners of men who enjoy dominating and making their partners suffer.

IdaBWells she said her purse was locked in the building she was working in. In the hindsight I should've asked her more about it or at least taken a photo of her number plate. But I did not suspect her at all as she was old.

Op just ignore the horrible comments. Some people obviously get thrills from kicking someone when they are down.

Please do report this to the police. You were trying to be a good citizen and unfortunately this was taken advantage of. Also check in with your bank to make sure your card hasn't been cloned.
Finally I speak as someone who spent years putting up with emotional abuse from my exp- You are worth more than this. Please seek support for the abuse. You deserve better.

But I did not suspect her at all as she was old.

You're really hung up on how very, very old she was, aren't you?

See it does happen to other people! -www-theargus-co-uk.cdn.ampproject.org/v/s/www.theargus.co.uk/news/15519205.amp/?amp_js_v=a2&amp_gsa=1&usqp=mq331AQECAFYAQ%3D%3D#referrer=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.google.com&amp_tf=From%20%251%24s&ampshare=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.theargus.co.uk%2Fnews%2F15519205.scammer-wanted-for-alleged-fraud%2F sorry you are feeling shit op, it's a horrible feeling knowing your kindness has been taken advantage of

Actually, this just reminded me of the log money/DPD theft thread, where the OP wouldn't entertain that her neighbour might be dishonest because he was old and wealthy. Exact same thing here: she was 'old' (three score years, a veritable fossil!!) and appeared wealthy, so couldn't possibly be lying.

I see a career change looming in my twilight years - no one will ever suspect me, as long as I look the part!

See it does happen to other people!

Well obviously - if no one ever fell for a scam, there'd be no point in the scammers scamming.

You sound a lovely person and kind and generous. Your gesture should make you feel good about yourself, not bad. I was approached by a guy in an airport carpark who said could we spare some change as he needed to ring his sister. I gave him 5 euros, but kind of thought he might be dodgy. He approached us a week later with the same story and I laughed, and said maybe next week! The truth is there are people who don't have much and need to eat. She may have been genuine, she may have needed money for fuel, for food but more likely needed some cash for a hit. I still give to beggars and people who ask so they can have a sandwich or coffee, or a drink or drugs, because i'm in a better place than most of them, and so are you. Re your partner, he feeds off your niceness and kindness and unfortunately that's what makes some of us vulnerable. But you'll leave when you are ready. Just don't do what my mother did and stay too long. She never became free. Don't stop being kind to people though. It's a great asset to have.

Shecamefrom that comment was obviously in response to the many arsey posters on here implying that the op is stupid for falling for it or making it up. Op already feels bad and came here looking for support, there's no need for people kicking her while she's down

When I was a young gullible 18 yo impecunious student I was walking along the main street in my university town when a woman, middle-aged, respectable-looking, approached me in fits of hysterics because she had lost her wallet and could not get back home on the bus. The bus fare was something like £6. She was in utter fits and almost got me sobbing at the despair of the situation. After too much of this I got my wallet out and gave her the £2.50 (or whatever it was) I had.

At which point her whole demeanour changed and she looked at me as if I were dirt, muttered "Thanks" in a positively sarcastic manner and walked away - for £2.50 was not up to the scratch of the £6 she wanted.

When I spotted her across the street the next day pulling the same stunt, I swore that I would never give a penny to anyone who asked it again, because I do not have some special radar that allows me to tell the genuinely needy (rare) from the piss-takers, the pan-handlers, the utter vermin pulling a stroke (common).

Those who are genuinely in need have other mechanisms than peddling crass sob stories.

Everything SummerGems said

Let's be real - scammers are not taking advantage of people's kindness. It's naivety they're after.
I couldn't see my self scammed in a similar situation, and ,thank you, I'm actually very kind.

Completely understand where you're coming from @regrethelp You tried to help someone you thought was I n need because you're a kind person. The reminder that not everyone is honest is a harsh one.

I think you’ve been scammed also sorry.

I was once genuinely in the situation of desperately needing petrol. I’d been out and had a fall out with the friend I was with, decided to go home, had enough petrol to get home but it was dark and an unfamiliar area and I got very lost, ended up driving for an hour in the wrong direction. Ran down my phone battery using it as a sat nav to find my way home so by the time I realised my petrol wouldn’t get me home I couldn’t even call for help.

I went into the petrol station, got petrol, explained what had happened and signed an agreement to come in and pay the next day. Never would I have asked and expected a complete stranger to buy me some, it never even crossed my mind.

If anyone would like to send me chocolates, preferably liquers, that would be very helpful. A fancy box would be nice but I'm flexible

Hi OP, Any link to this artist online? it would be good to share as a warning to everyone who is kind hearted like you.