Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Sister told me to buy a Christmas present for her cat?! Wwyd?

275 replies

Bear18 · 18/12/2018 23:48

Two years ago my sister bought a cat. Her husband works shifts and she said it would be lovely to get a cat to keep her company, I thought nice idea.... the first year she had the cat I said sis what would you like for Christmas, got any ideas?! Sister says oh don’t worry about me just buy for my cat, I thought she was joking, but no she was serious. I asked again for any ideas as I do find her hard to buy for, it’s better to ask. Anyway she gave me some ideas then later on she said ‘your buying for my cat right?’ i say eh? You want me to buy for your cat and she said well yeah she’s my baby blah blah.

So I thought, bite the bullet just get her cat something, it will make her happy, so I did.

Now this year I have been asked to buy for her cat again.....

Every time I catch up there’s always a story about the cat. When my dd plays with the cat she always get told off by my sister, dd don’t do that, don’t sing too loud, don’t move too quick it will startle the cat. I have caught my sister shouting at my dd over the cat!!!! - tbh it’s doing my head in. My dd is good with pets and is very gentle with the cat, she doesn’t need to be constantly told off.

I can tell she is a bit obsessed with the cat. I don’t have pets so I don’t get it. But would you ask someone to buy for your pet??

I have a list of what the cat likes and doesn’t like.... I have spent half hr on amazon .... then logged out and thought I have too much sh&t to do...... plus I feel petty because of the way she snaps at dd.

Do I give in and buy the cat something??? Wwyd ???

OP posts:
Blacktoffeecat · 19/12/2018 03:13

I’m guessing you have children and she doesn’t. Is she struggling with this?
I got a kitten after my second mc and woe betide anyone who suggested he wasn’t as good as a human baby. I was grieving and a bit mad with it.
I think your sister is being a bit mad but I would just humour her, cat toys are cheap. Our 2 are getting refillable catnip toys for Christmas (£1.49 amazon).
We now have a human son but still love our cat babies.

BadLad · 19/12/2018 03:36

Get the cat a charity goat

Yidette86 · 19/12/2018 03:38

She would rather the cat have a present than herself so be it, honestly don't see what the issue is unless she's asking you to buy it clothes and save up for it to attend uni, then yes she might have a problem otherwise just get it some toys or some fish, not a big deal.

sobeyondthehills · 19/12/2018 03:48

I moved house a few months ago, my mum got a moving in present for my dog and the two cats, got bugger all for me, didn't even send me a card.

I wasn't expecting anything till the cat stand bigger than my lounge turned up

Mayrhofen · 19/12/2018 03:50

Does she buy for your DD? I would be ok with buying for the cat since she's childless.

But I like cats.

Well I dis until mine woke me up to go out which is why I'm awake at this ridiculous hour on MN.

BarbaraofSevillle · 19/12/2018 04:23

Laser cat toy is probably better than a feather on a stick, which most cats do love, but will be broken within seconds as the cat rips the feathery bit off the string.

I'd love to see this list of what the cat likes. In my considerable experience (cat slave for 20 years plus including rescue fosterer) most cats like boxes, preferably those which are slightly too small for them to sit in comfortably, shoe laces (useful as DP likes a brand of trainers that always come with an extra pair of laces that he never uses so we have something useful to do with the box of laces in the bookcase) and toy balls - ping pong or ones with noisy bits inside - Pets at Home sell a pack of 10 for about £2. And Dreamies. Can never have too many Dreamies.

I've also found that the amount of interest a cat shows in a toy, bed etc, is inversely proportional to the amount it costs. Apart from good quality food and appropriate veterinary treatment, I spend hardly anything on my cats, because I've learnt from bitter experience that the lovely bed that doesn't look out of place in my living room will be pointedly ignored in favour of the tatty cardboard box in the utility room waiting to go out to the recycling bin.

MumsGoneToIceland · 19/12/2018 04:26

I agree it’s odd to buy for a cat but your dsis obviously sees the cat as her child. Therefore to avoid upset, I would spend a bit less on your sis and get a small toy for the cat :)

BarbaraofSevillle · 19/12/2018 04:27

Just seen a cat water fountain mentioned above. To prove the point I made about them ignoring things that are more expensive, we do have a water fountain, which hardly any of them ever use, because why would they when they can drink from pools of rainwater, the water features in the neighbour's garden or my water glass?

MirriVan · 19/12/2018 05:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

floribunda18 · 19/12/2018 05:25

Packet of Dreamies and a bag of catnip. Presents would be very easy if we had to only buy for friends and family's pets.

hiddeneverythin · 19/12/2018 08:48

No it's really sad and pathetic. Get her an Amazon voucher and she can spend it on the cat if she wants

ShatnersWig · 19/12/2018 08:52

Always bought a present for our dog when I was growing up. After a left home but went back for Xmas Day, I'd still buy a present for my parents' dog (and there have been two since I left home).

Gatehouse77 · 19/12/2018 08:52

We buy a small gift for my sister's dog but that's because we sometimes look after him at our house.

Why don't you get her a photo shoot for her and her cat???

Yidette86 · 19/12/2018 09:47

Hidden... sad and pathetic? Wow what a delight you must be Hmm

People buy for my child and I like it that way, as I've got older I hate trying to decide what I want for Christmas.

Maybe OP's sister would rather money be spent on her "child".. It seems from the original post that the cat is her constant companion. You don't know what she's been through or why she would rather presents be bought for the cat instead of her, no need for the nastiness.

slashlover · 19/12/2018 09:59

I've also found that the amount of interest a cat shows in a toy, bed etc, is inversely proportional to the amount it costs.

I bought my cat expensive treats - organic, no artificial flavourings/preservatives/colours, extremely high meat content and she wouldn't touch them. She would murder me in my sleep for some Dreamies though (The Whiskas Temptations are also acceptable).

Also bought a water fountain but she just complains at me until I turn on the bathroomsink tap instead.

MysweetAudrina · 19/12/2018 10:10

I have a dh, 5 kids a dog and a cat. Last year my Aunt sent up her Christmas presents with my Mam. She only bought for the dog. She did the same with my sister.

dd bought ddog a coat for Christmas. My best friend who has 4 dogs and no children lost one of her dogs this week and is obviously heartbroken. I went onto her FB page and downloaded all the photos I could find of her dog and had a calendar made and sent to her to let her know I am thinking of her.

tenbob · 19/12/2018 10:18

When I had several years of struggling to get pregnant and then miscarrying every time I did, my wonderful MIL bought christmas presents for our dog, included her name on cards and relaxed the 'no dogs in the sitting room' rule for her, and called herself 'granny' when addressing the dog, without being asked.

It was a small act of kindness that was probably done through slightly gritted teeth, but meant so much to us when we felt like the family oddballs without actual children.

Maybe they are struggling with fertility, maybe she is just batshit in love with her pet

Either way, is it worth upsetting her over a £5 cat toy?

1stTimeMama · 19/12/2018 10:24

No way I'd be buying for anyone's pet.
I don't get our own dog anything, as she's, you know....a dog.

MumW · 19/12/2018 10:27

Not at all the same thing, but next door's cat gave me a bottle of wine last Xmas but it was tongue in cheek and a thank you for feeding her when my neighbours go away.

I usually take the giblets round as a treat so they went round in a freezer bag tied with curling ribbon and a gift label!

Eliza9917 · 19/12/2018 10:33

YABU. I buy presents for my dogs and my sisters dog, and my mum's dog before she died.

TherightsideofHERstory · 19/12/2018 10:34

My cat won't eat Dreamies, is she defective? She will however sell her soul for ready salted crisps or a few pringles.

RangeRider · 19/12/2018 10:34

If she buys for your DD you should buy for her DCat (and try and be a little more understanding). Seriously, can you not afford to spend a few quid on something she's suggested when she no doubt makes the effort for your child?

Triskaidekaphilia · 19/12/2018 12:35

Could she be struggling to get pregnant and her feelings are some sort of transference?
Well this kind of happened with me. Like me and DH have always been known to be cat-mad before we even got ours, but certainly not being able to get pregnant made me more obsessed with them. I never asked anyone else to buy them presents but bought them some myself and tried to encourage them to open them, spoiled them a bit sometimes etc. and it crushed me when people questioned my obsession. I once had to spell it out to someone: "They are my babies because they are all I have.". I'm now pregnant and they will still always be my babies! But I do think infertility can cause us to form attachments with our pets that others may not understand. If she's asking you to get a gift for the cat instead of her then I think that's fine, but I don't blame you for getting frustrated at having to buy for a picky cat instead of your sister! Grin

Triskaidekaphilia · 19/12/2018 12:37

Oh and snapping at your DD about the cat when she's not doing anything wrong is a separate issue and I would be pissed off about that too.

Shamalamalam · 19/12/2018 12:41

We buy presents for all the family dogs

My brother doesn’t have kids, he makes the effort to buy for my kids, I make the effort to buy for his dogs in return

We’ve always bought our dog and cat Christmas presents