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Original poster

Sister told me to buy a Christmas present for her cat?! Wwyd?

275 replies

Bear18 · 18/12/2018 23:48

Two years ago my sister bought a cat. Her husband works shifts and she said it would be lovely to get a cat to keep her company, I thought nice idea.... the first year she had the cat I said sis what would you like for Christmas, got any ideas?! Sister says oh don’t worry about me just buy for my cat, I thought she was joking, but no she was serious. I asked again for any ideas as I do find her hard to buy for, it’s better to ask. Anyway she gave me some ideas then later on she said ‘your buying for my cat right?’ i say eh? You want me to buy for your cat and she said well yeah she’s my baby blah blah.

So I thought, bite the bullet just get her cat something, it will make her happy, so I did.

Now this year I have been asked to buy for her cat again.....

Every time I catch up there’s always a story about the cat. When my dd plays with the cat she always get told off by my sister, dd don’t do that, don’t sing too loud, don’t move too quick it will startle the cat. I have caught my sister shouting at my dd over the cat!!!! - tbh it’s doing my head in. My dd is good with pets and is very gentle with the cat, she doesn’t need to be constantly told off.

I can tell she is a bit obsessed with the cat. I don’t have pets so I don’t get it. But would you ask someone to buy for your pet??

I have a list of what the cat likes and doesn’t like.... I have spent half hr on amazon .... then logged out and thought I have too much sh&t to do...... plus I feel petty because of the way she snaps at dd.

Do I give in and buy the cat something??? Wwyd ???

OP posts:
sheldonesque · 19/12/2018 18:21

Aye dowager

That and lonely.

And you have described me perfectly.

BlueJava · 19/12/2018 18:26

I'd buy her a gift and something small for the cat - she clearly loves it and it makes her happy, why not?! :)

blueskiesandforests · 19/12/2018 18:30

TheDowagerCuntess not always - I know dog/ horse people for whom dog and horse outranks their actual offspring by a country mile, taking up vastly more of their time and attention and requiring other people to make jaw dropping levels of compromise to accommodate the animals/ cover for time dedicated to the animals.

My mother essentially told me my sister's dog outranked my kids (I asked that the dog not be in my mother's house when we traveled several hundred miles to visit for a couple of days because the dog had previously bitten my toddler. Sister and dog live locally to but not with mother) because he was my sister's baby. Dog was there when we arrived and given free run of the house and we were told to stay in the garden, under an awning in the rain.

Sister has two human children, who also stayed outside under the awning Hmm

ilovepixie · 19/12/2018 18:32

I always buy my dog birthday and Christmas presents

KurriKurri · 19/12/2018 18:57

Tell her it's A FUCKING CAT which doesn't know it's Christmas.

Babies and toddlers don't know it is Christmas either, but people aren't called unhinged for buying stuff for them.
It's about having someone to spoil and to invest your love in. It is actually fairly important for human beings to be able to express thier love and form loving bonds whether that be with people or pets - not unhinged at all.
I give presents to my own dog and buy for others pets, if someone expecially asked for a present for their pet, I'd happily get them one - it's not a big deal and it will make someone happy.

Your sister saying what her cat likes is no different from people sending lists of what their kids want for Christmas (and my God the posts on here complaining if anyone dares to go off list for kids !!). yes it is a cat, and has no clue - but it is clearly more than 'just' a cat to your sister, she loves the cat, she wants the occasion of Christmas to involve the cat. The price of a small cat toy is not much to spread a bit of joy.

As for telling your DD off, I suspect she may be scared the cat will scratch or bite your DD and is being uber cautious and it's coming over as snappy. You know your DD is good with pets, your sister may be less confident because she doesn;t live with your DD and thinks she might be unpredictable.

TheDowagerCuntess · 19/12/2018 19:03

blueskies Shock

Limensoda · 19/12/2018 19:06

Babies and toddlers don't know it is Christmas either, but people aren't called unhinged for buying stuff for them

Seriously?... Comparing buying a gift for pets with gifts for actual human babies?
Babies and children will grow and understand Christmas.
It's building a tradition that they understand more each year.
Pets will never understand Christmas.
Why can't people respect animals for the species they are instead of imposing human stuff on them?
If my sister asked me to buy her cat or dog a present I would tell her to get a fucking grip.

strawberrypenguin · 19/12/2018 19:09

Buy a present for the cat. It doesnt hurt you. A pack of dreamies and job done.
Your sister is right about your DD 'playing' with the cat if she's too loud or makes sudden moves she will startle it. Cats aren't toys.

MerryMax · 19/12/2018 19:14

The cat needs this...
Suck UK Cat Play house - Tank https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B002Z9IDBC/ref=cmswwrcppapiii_PHPgCb8CV22T3

Buy for the cat you Scrooge!

Dontsweatthelittlestuff · 19/12/2018 19:15

I always buy presents for my cats but they don’t get them until the sales when I buy up all the Christmas tins of cat treats half price.
I got enough tins of dreamiest last year that I was still using them in the summer😺🐈

KurriKurri · 19/12/2018 19:27

Babies and children will grow and understand Christmas

Yes they will - but they don't understand when they are babies, and it's not building a tradition because they don;t understand so will have no memory of it or comprehension of what it is, so actually a total waste of time, and purely for the benfit of the adults who enjoy giving gifts. Just as giving gifts to pets is for human comfort,

Why can't people respect animals for the species they are instead of imposing human stuff on them?

Now you want the argument both ways - either they don't understand in which case nothing is being imposed on them (a few dreamies and a feather on a stick is hardly an imposition for a cat) because they don't understand. Or they do understand and are therefore upset because people are trying to force humn concepts onto them.

The species that are domestic cats and dogs have evolved and are now far removed form their wild ancestors. Part of thier evolution has been adapting to make themselves amenable to human beings and to fulfill the role of human companion. Its a survival technique.

Makes me laugh when people wet themselves at the very thought of someone comparing giving a gift to children to giving to pets, Like there is some unwritten rule that if you mention children and animals in the same breath you are somehow oblivious to how phenomenal children are and giving something ot an animal demeans and undervalues children. It's perfectly possible to love both children and animals - the one does not exclude the other.

In fact the opposite - I find people who are generous and loving to animals and their owners have good empathy and are generally loving peoiple who are kind to children. People who respond to someone's love for thier pey with 'get a fucking grip' - not so much. Just because you don't understand the love a person feels for their pet, doesn't make it silly - just makes you a bit unempathetic and blinkered.

Animals are used in the rehabilitation and care of people who have health problems, mental and physical, learning difficulties, dementia, life limiting illnesses etc etc. because the bonds people frige with animals are extremely important to our well being.

Original poster
Bear18 · 19/12/2018 19:33

Merry max don’t think that tank will be big enough for a Maine coon cat..... 🤣

OP posts:
ratspeaker · 19/12/2018 19:46

What is the cat buying you?

In the past I have JOKINGLY sent my DSis a card from the cat but shes never demanded presents for her cat, nor have I for our cat ( or my adorable rats) .
Our cat is getting nothing from me, he can have the boxes to play with.

silvercuckoo · 19/12/2018 19:47

My SIL's crazy fist-sized yappy dog had to be treated as a family member, actually having its own seat at the Christmas table, and the presents had to be put under the tree, and there were feelings hurt if God forbid the dog got "cheap" presents compared to humans. Just forget and buy something. People are weird.

YoThePussy · 19/12/2018 19:47

Have visions of a chorus of dogs and cats singing ‘Do They Know It’s Christmas’.

Does your DSis’s cat give your DD a present? This would be a good tradition to start.

My stocking always used to be filled by the pets. All very generous but DM complained they never paid her back when she went shopping. I found this to be true when I helped them do DM’s stocking.

bellinisurge · 19/12/2018 19:49

A cardboard box. Seriously. They love 'em.

YoThePussy · 19/12/2018 19:51

Also, maybe your DD could make DCat some presents. Length of string with newspaper bow always goes down well. Some of those balls you can make with two circles of card and wrapping wool round.

I have an underwear drawer full of catnip mice for my DCats. They prowl the bedroom searching for them but I will not crumble and give them out early.

Itsear · 19/12/2018 20:07

Definitely buy kitty a present, would agree that catnip toys are best. I have a similar problem because I have children but my sis doesn’t, I get her extra (ie for pets) otherwise it works out as uneven. I also have cats that I like to indulge (of course they just turn their noses up at any present). Also your sis is probably worried that cat may accidentally scratch your DD, that is probably why she is warning your DD off.

Original poster
Bear18 · 19/12/2018 21:26

Well I bought a catnip toy! Job done. Hope she is grateful as I haven’t stuck to her list. Catnip seemed to get the most votes 🤣

OP posts:
TroysMammy · 19/12/2018 21:30

Get the cat a few lick-e-lik. It will go mental for them then your sister will have to fork out to keep PFB happy.

tildaMa · 19/12/2018 22:11

@Bear18
Hope she is grateful as I haven’t stuck to her list.

Ah, so you ARE one of those people who ignore wish lists because they know better.

easyandy101 · 19/12/2018 22:21

cat gives my partner birthday and Christmas cards

Even signs them with a little paw print

She doesn't give him any cards because she's a heartless monster

ALittleBitofVitriol · 19/12/2018 22:23

There is no way in hell I would buy a Christmas present for an animal.

Christmas is becoming absurd. What happened to presents for kids, a little something for special adults. No, it has to turn into an expensive parade of consumerism and emotional blackmail.

Anyone demanding a present from me would get an earful about how a compelled gift is no gift at all.

Bah humbug.

Original poster
Bear18 · 19/12/2018 23:05

Tilda - yes actually I do....

OP posts:
SushiMonster · 19/12/2018 23:09

If you want her to buy your child a gift, I don’t see why you begrudge getting her cat a £2 catnip stuffed mouse.

In the grand scheme of things, it hurts no one and makes your sister happy.

And I sympathise with your sister. I hate it when my nieces and nephews try and ‘play’ with my cat. By play, they mean chase and terrorise and you know, parents don’t like their darlings being asked to stop doing that....