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Original poster

Sister told me to buy a Christmas present for her cat?! Wwyd?

275 replies

Bear18 · 18/12/2018 23:48

Two years ago my sister bought a cat. Her husband works shifts and she said it would be lovely to get a cat to keep her company, I thought nice idea.... the first year she had the cat I said sis what would you like for Christmas, got any ideas?! Sister says oh don’t worry about me just buy for my cat, I thought she was joking, but no she was serious. I asked again for any ideas as I do find her hard to buy for, it’s better to ask. Anyway she gave me some ideas then later on she said ‘your buying for my cat right?’ i say eh? You want me to buy for your cat and she said well yeah she’s my baby blah blah.

So I thought, bite the bullet just get her cat something, it will make her happy, so I did.

Now this year I have been asked to buy for her cat again.....

Every time I catch up there’s always a story about the cat. When my dd plays with the cat she always get told off by my sister, dd don’t do that, don’t sing too loud, don’t move too quick it will startle the cat. I have caught my sister shouting at my dd over the cat!!!! - tbh it’s doing my head in. My dd is good with pets and is very gentle with the cat, she doesn’t need to be constantly told off.

I can tell she is a bit obsessed with the cat. I don’t have pets so I don’t get it. But would you ask someone to buy for your pet??

I have a list of what the cat likes and doesn’t like.... I have spent half hr on amazon .... then logged out and thought I have too much sh&t to do...... plus I feel petty because of the way she snaps at dd.

Do I give in and buy the cat something??? Wwyd ???

OP posts:
Original poster
Bear18 · 19/12/2018 00:47

Spaniel - I liked how you put that ...... !

OP posts:
Original poster
Bear18 · 19/12/2018 00:48

Thanks slash !

OP posts:
1forAll74 · 19/12/2018 00:55

I have three cats, and earlier I had two dead mice in the kitchen,,they are still quite fresh,so could wrap them up and send them to you,for an original Christmas gift for your sisters cat.!

I have always made my own cat toys,never bought any at all.
I don't send cards to my cats though,and although they are clever, I don't think they can read.

sheldonesque · 19/12/2018 00:55

I am so, so behind in shopping this year. I have only bought two gifts.

My sister's dog had her two presents bought and wrapped ages ago. Grin

Like spaniel my sister wouldn't ask but is always thrilled we buy for the dog.

The family present opening tradition revolves around a giddy hound opening her presents. Wouldn't have it any other way. Smile

KC225 · 19/12/2018 00:56

slashlover yes that is the one. I get mine from a local pet shop. That postage is a bit steep but its potent stuff and it probably includes the postie hiring a couple of pitbulls

Molakai · 19/12/2018 00:56

Maybe think of the present as being for your sister but via the cat (if that makes sense).
The cat brings her pleasure so buying things for the cat gives fun to the cat and therefore pleasure to your sister.

You wouldn't think it odd to buy her present for a hobby, so other than the fact that she says the present is "for the cat", perhaps think of it like that.

YouBetterWORK · 19/12/2018 00:59

You want Da Bird. Feathers on string on stick that mimic a bird in flight when you pull it through the air. Cats go nuts for it, they do backflips for it, well mine did. Then they give the feathers a good maul.

TrippingTheVelvet · 19/12/2018 01:02

There is clearly a difference in how you and DS perceive your daughter's behaviour around the cat. That usually means it's somewhere in between i.e. your daughter isn't always perfect around the cat.

I would give in. I've been that person that's a bit mental about their pet. It stopped when I wasn't killed with loneliness and desperation for a family of my own. Could it be similar with sis?

MrsRubyMonday · 19/12/2018 01:02

Shortly after we moved in together, my wife and I asked a family member who asked for suggestions for us for Christmas to buy our cat a litter tray instead. Having just moved, money was tight, and we wanted a covered tray due to the location it needed to be but couldn't justify the cost when we had a perfectly serviceable normal tray. We didn't need anything for ourselves and the cat took priority. We also asked my best friend for some cat toys as a wedding gift, we had been loving together for ages by that point and didn't need more stuff but friend wanted to buy us something and she loves cats. However, on both occasions it was a request, not a demand, and the cat gift took the place of our own gift, as previous poster said it's really a gift for us, just more practical. Expecting both is excessive unless it's reciprocal and agreed or you are happy to do it.

I wouldn't be too hard on your sister for asking your daughter to stay away from the cat or monitoring closely, though. One of our cats hates having strangers in the house, we don't have a lot of people over so anyone who isn't me or my wife is viewed with suspicion. Unfortunately she is incredibly cute and fluffy and people want to pet her. Approaching her as you would any other cat, even calmly and quietly, is a one way ticket to hissing at best, a nasty scratch more likely. We warn all visitors to ignore her and not approach her, while she may be happy to sit on the sofa and watch sometimes, we make sure she has an escape route and isn't put into any situation where she would feel cornered, everything is on her terms. Recently a young relative came over and was warned to leave her alone, we left the room for a few seconds to fetch him a drink and came back to a cat in meltdown because he tried to stroke her and my wife got scratched quite badly removing her to a quiet place. Trust that your sister knows her cat and if she's asking these things, it's probably for good reason. I would be more than happy for people to fuss the cats, they always do interact with our friendly one but for both crazy cat and guests safety, we put these rules in place.

Original poster
Bear18 · 19/12/2018 01:06

Tripping - no dd is pretty good. My brother wasn’t impressed with our sister as she has crossed the line. I didn’t have to say anything to anyone and my sisinlaw bought it up and said you need to speak with you sister - she is over the top about the cat and is harsh on your dd - so have validation there. Plus as I said I watch dd - she is good.

OP posts:
slashlover · 19/12/2018 01:06

Just another small thing, but my cat was so helpful when my depression was at it's worst. I don't know your DSs circumstances but sometimes the only reason to force myself out of bed was because DCat needed food, fresh water and her litter tray scooped. You said that she got the cat to keep her company so the cat could be a major part of her life even though it's 'just a cat'.

I'm not having DC (by choice) and have always said that I'm a future Channel 5 documentary "The woman with 100 cats". Never looks at the pictures on my phone as there are approx. 6547575 of the cat.

If you're looking for cheap then every cat I know loves a laser pointer (and it's hilarious) which you can get for a few pounds.

user1andonly · 19/12/2018 01:10

I would buy something for the cat but, in my head, consider it part of my gift to my sister. The cat neither knows nor cares where the toys come from but your sister gets pleasure out of receiving them.

Original poster
Bear18 · 19/12/2018 01:10

Mrs ruby - think the best option is for my sister to visit us, she must be anxious over the cat - plus I’m tired of dd getting snapped at. I never leave dd alone with that cats as I know cats can be unpredictable.

Thanks all!

OP posts:
Original poster
Bear18 · 19/12/2018 01:13

Laser pen! That’s a funny gift ! Think I have changed my mind now 🤣

OP posts:
Aridane · 19/12/2018 01:22

I never leave dd alone with that cats as I know cats can be unpredictable

As can DDs Wink

misspieface · 19/12/2018 01:29

To be honest she sounds a little lonely and the cat has become her world. Just buy it a few pressies to make her happy. Cheap and cheerful B&M or the Range. We're going shopping for the dog on Friday Grin She was my first baby (I have a real one too now) so she still gets spoilt. Lots of our friends buy for her too, and I for there pets. She's on all our cards both sent and received so they definitely indulge my crazy, it makes me happy!

Here she is with her loot last Christmas, spoilt little madam!

Do have a quiet chat at another time about her reprimanding DD and how unhappy it makes you.

Sister told me to buy a Christmas present for her cat?! Wwyd?
slashlover · 19/12/2018 01:32

KC225 Thanks, have added it to my Amazon basket.

The laser pen might be good for your DD too, she can play with the cat without touching or being too close.

flourpower82 · 19/12/2018 01:42

You need to get it something really annoying - like people do when buying for children whose parents they don't really like. Something that makes an annoying noise repeatedly or that gives you migraines looking at it.

ShalomJackie · 19/12/2018 01:43

Buy her a t shirt thay says "mad cat lady"

Elphie54 · 19/12/2018 02:20

“What about a fIshtank?”

With or without the fish? Lol

PenguinPandas · 19/12/2018 02:25

Tuna in spring water, my cat says about 1,000 tins
Cat water fountain, varies if use it though and tuna water please.
Wool for cat to play with

Bluebonnieblue · 19/12/2018 02:35

I think you're being a little bit insensitive? A present for the cat would be very cheap. She obviously adores the cat and considers it like a baby to her. I personally don't get it but I know people like this. You don't know how she's feeling - maybe she's sad to not have children yet, maybe she's having trouble conceiving or something? Or maybe she's just one of those people who it a bit lonely and their pet is genuinely such a big comfort and source of happiness in their life. It won't hurt you to buy her cat a small present, and it might really hurt her feelings or make her feel undermined and embarrassed if you don't. It is ridiculous, bit it's 100% the kind thing to do. Be kind at Christmas. Smile

thegreatbeyond · 19/12/2018 02:57

I'd just go along with it. It'll make her happy, why not?

tildaMa · 19/12/2018 03:07

Sister says oh don’t worry about me just buy for my cat, I thought she was joking, but no she was serious. I asked again for any ideas as I do find her hard to buy for, it’s better to ask. Anyway she gave me some ideas then later on she said ‘your buying for my cat right?’ i say eh? You want me to buy for your cat and she said well yeah she’s my baby blah blah.

So basically you asked and she gave you a wish list.
Please don't be one of those people who ignore a wish list because they think they know better what someone should want.

slashlover · 19/12/2018 03:10

Buy her a t shirt thay says "mad cat lady"

Or a mug. I was having a clear out and I own 10 mugs which have a picture of a cat, have words about cats or are cat shaped. I think I bought two of them.