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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Sister told me to buy a Christmas present for her cat?! Wwyd?

275 replies

Bear18 · 18/12/2018 23:48

Two years ago my sister bought a cat. Her husband works shifts and she said it would be lovely to get a cat to keep her company, I thought nice idea.... the first year she had the cat I said sis what would you like for Christmas, got any ideas?! Sister says oh don’t worry about me just buy for my cat, I thought she was joking, but no she was serious. I asked again for any ideas as I do find her hard to buy for, it’s better to ask. Anyway she gave me some ideas then later on she said ‘your buying for my cat right?’ i say eh? You want me to buy for your cat and she said well yeah she’s my baby blah blah.

So I thought, bite the bullet just get her cat something, it will make her happy, so I did.

Now this year I have been asked to buy for her cat again.....

Every time I catch up there’s always a story about the cat. When my dd plays with the cat she always get told off by my sister, dd don’t do that, don’t sing too loud, don’t move too quick it will startle the cat. I have caught my sister shouting at my dd over the cat!!!! - tbh it’s doing my head in. My dd is good with pets and is very gentle with the cat, she doesn’t need to be constantly told off.

I can tell she is a bit obsessed with the cat. I don’t have pets so I don’t get it. But would you ask someone to buy for your pet??

I have a list of what the cat likes and doesn’t like.... I have spent half hr on amazon .... then logged out and thought I have too much sh&t to do...... plus I feel petty because of the way she snaps at dd.

Do I give in and buy the cat something??? Wwyd ???

OP posts:
legalseagull · 21/12/2018 19:47

I wouldn't be taking the piss. I'd be worrried about her. I'm surprised you haven't previously considered @Windinmyhair point. It's pretty obvious there's a gaping hole in her life that she's trying to fill.

Purplealienpuke · 21/12/2018 19:55

Would I fuck...... ridiculous

Ilikeknitting · 21/12/2018 20:12

It depends.

Do you have children your sister buys for?

currentcake · 21/12/2018 20:42

@Toddlerteaplease your just an awesome person 🐱!!

pamhill64 · 21/12/2018 20:44

Does she buy a present for your DD? I’m guessing she does and you would be hurt if she didn’t so, as a childless lady, it’s even more likely that she is strongly attached to her cat/surrogate child. Buy her a gift or experience and a token gift for her beloved cat/child. You might not like it or understand but it’s her “baby” and isn’t hurting anyone.

currentcake · 21/12/2018 20:45

We don't ask for gifts for our pets but we have an awesome family friend who is the actual best present chooser in the world. He gets the coolest yet wackiest but also thoughtful gifts ever. At Xmas he will always include our rabbit and cats in the festive cheer with (not cheap) pet gifts and treats. Wrapped in appropriate (animal) wrapping paper with tag
I must also admit to buying for my parents dogs at Xmas but it isn't expected of us. It's just something we like to do

Iseveryusernametaken · 21/12/2018 20:49

I was in tears the other day because I couldn't find my housecat in the house. I spent an hour searching ... turns out she had jumped behind some furniture and couldn't get out. My cats are my babies snd I have human babies too. They're even more your babies if you don't have himan children. Mine have a stocking and my daughter wrote to Santa for them.

Limensoda · 21/12/2018 20:54

If you want to buy your pet a gift, go ahead but expecting others to buy your pet a gift? Grow up!
I wouldn't 'expect' anyone, including family to have bought my kids gifts let alone my pet a gift!

Loyaultemelie · 21/12/2018 21:26

I buy my next door neighbours cats cards and presents Blush it has actually occurred to me I have their cats presents neatly wrapped and not their dds! (It is bought though)
I also buy my cats presents from my dds and my dm buys them a present each too. Tbf though we aren't necessarily the family to go by as we are crazy cat people

Enthymeme · 21/12/2018 21:32

You’re not buying a present for a cat which is patently ridiculous. You’re telling your sister you love her.

CaptainsYuleLog · 21/12/2018 21:57

This thread is like something from The Twilight Zone. I never realised that people bought presents for animals. And I'm utterly gobsmacked at someone expecting it.

Madness.

Gormless · 21/12/2018 22:06

I have a friend who is a well-established psychiatrist. She and I are both cat lovers. We both buy gifts for each others cats at Christmas and their birthdays. It’s a chance to catch up to exchange the items and fun to see the cats play with them. It brings us joy, helps maintain contact, and I’d like to think she knows madness when she sees it (and doesn’t see it in this activity). She does know the value of simple fun, though, and caring for small creatures that share our lives. There are any worse things in life than to be asked to buy something for a pet that evidently brings considerable happiness to a family member. And it’s not like she’s asking for something for herself as well.

Limensoda · 21/12/2018 22:07

You’re telling your sister you love her
Of course she could always say 'I love you'
But maybe that's too difficult.Hmm

Bear18 · 21/12/2018 22:09

Captains - I am on your wavelength. But I have learnt a lot on this thread though.....😳

OP posts:
Limensoda · 21/12/2018 22:09

This thread is like something from The Twilight Zone

Sanity amongst madness. Grin

Bear18 · 21/12/2018 22:12

I dropped off the present today and my sister was referring to her cat as her ‘baby’.... my baby loves the gift blah blah... she has asked most family members to buy for the cat.... not sure if they would though.

The cat went MENTAL! And even hissed at her as she tried to take the gift to play with her. Cat loves it ....

OP posts:
Aridane · 21/12/2018 22:15

Result

DoubleNegativePanda · 21/12/2018 22:16

I certainly wouldn't ask someone to buy my pets gifts, but my sisters and I do exchange cat and dog gifts. We've just always done it.

merlotmummy14 · 21/12/2018 22:28

I buy for DP's friend's (a couple) cat but only because it's easier to buy a cat jumper off Amazon for a tenner and a bottle of gin than having to actually think of something that would suit their very quirky tastes. They never ask for cat gifts but they do quite clearly think of this cat as their baby and when we share news of our baby, they share news of the cat (admittedly very boring in comparison as it's not like they exactly reach milestones or anything). If they started asking for cat presents or specifying what type of toys their cat likes and dislikes, I would slowly find myself very busy on the days we're supposed to meet up and send DP alone. There's definitely something very interesting psychologically speaking for people who think of their pets as children rather than companions.

Jogonandshutup · 21/12/2018 23:01

It will cost you a couple of pounds - if you’re not buying your sister a gift the least you can do is get one for the cat as it will make your sister happy - win win situation for £2!?!

HoHoFuck · 21/12/2018 23:13

I'm sure it has already been suggested, but you can't go wrong with a nice, sturdy cardboard box.

MissLadyM · 21/12/2018 23:34

Just get a few toys treats & catnip. And stop being such a miserable bugger!

Kate0902900908 · 21/12/2018 23:35

I think there is an Underlying issues here. Your sister have filled a whole in her life with the cat, she must have been lonely or wanted to mother something does she have children ? Or have her children flown the nest?

At the end of the day if you love your sister understand the cat is really important in her life, think of it as a loved job or hobby.

I don’t think she should be telling your child off and I would wait for the next instance and say “my ( child name ) really likes ( cats name ) she would never do her any harm they are just playing..” if it happened again I would then say we can’t come over if it’s going to be like this it’s not fair on dd”

I have a friend who is exactly the same with her dog, it does become annoying but I just remind myself he is really important to her

Xx

a1poshpaws · 22/12/2018 05:44

It's Christmas. We're supposed to be feeling the love. Your sister adores her cat and when you asked what she'd like she said something for the cat. Ergo, get over those feelings you admit are petty, and buy a decent scratching pad or something similar - it needn't be an expensive tree house!

Putthekettleonplease · 22/12/2018 08:07

I assume your sister can’t have kids? I find that the friends that I have who can’t have kids think that having an animal is the same thing and have high demands about how to treat them.