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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Mil and the panto

100 replies

Winterfellwonderland · 18/12/2018 15:01

My mil had planned to take our oldest ds to see a panto at the weekend gone. Ds was really looking forward to it. Cut a long story short and probably some outing info , fil decided he now wanted to go with mil so mil told us the day before she wouldn’t be taking ds and instead fil was going. My ds did nothing to challenge this, I feel like I’m the only one who thinks this is awful behaviour! I know a lot of replies will be she has every right to take who she wants, yeah fair enough as long as your not upsetting a little boy who’s been looking forward to it! Any advice how to handle this one because I feel I can’t let her get away with it!

OP posts:
Original poster
Winterfellwonderland · 18/12/2018 15:02

My DH did nothing to challenge it

OP posts:
Lettermethis · 18/12/2018 15:03

She can't do that to a child! Oh my God! Your poor son. Can you take him?

RandomWok · 18/12/2018 15:04

Wow that's mean! How old is your son? Poor thing. I hope you did something lovely together instead!

MargotSimpson · 18/12/2018 15:04

Your poor boy, that’s awful. Can you take him instead? Terrible behaviour from both MIL and FIL

JennyOnAPlate · 18/12/2018 15:04

That's incredibly mean! Have you told her how upset ds is?

LagunaBubbles · 18/12/2018 15:04

That's awful behaviour! Your DH should be tackling this.

GooodMythicalMorning · 18/12/2018 15:05

I'd take him instead but thats very mean of her. Couldnt she have bought fil an extra ticket? Poor ds.

kingscote · 18/12/2018 15:06

That's really bad behaviour from both MIL and FIL. What on earth were they thinking?

Original poster
Winterfellwonderland · 18/12/2018 15:06

I know I looked into it but I can’t really afford to take him it’s £30odd pounds a ticket. I might try and take him to see the new Mary poppies instead.

OP posts:
Lettermethis · 18/12/2018 15:06

Also, why an adult would choose too see a panto without bring forced to a child in tow is ODD.

Original poster
Winterfellwonderland · 18/12/2018 15:07

My dh doesn’t get why I’m so angry!!

OP posts:
Lettermethis · 18/12/2018 15:08

Definitely take him to see the new Mary Poppins film to make up for it.

Your MIL should pay.

Can your DH not bring it up as they're his parents?

Lettermethis · 18/12/2018 15:09

If you DH doesn't get it, then book a special meal out for the two of you and tell him so he can look forward to it.

Last minute, tell him you're taking a friend instead.

YourEggnogIsBetterThanMine · 18/12/2018 15:09

That's bad form! Who takes from a child lile that?!

Original poster
Winterfellwonderland · 18/12/2018 15:12

Mil is quite absent minded a lot of the time and I don’t think she realises what she’s done lol dh thinks I’m being dramatic.... yeah probably a bit but it’s fucked me off

OP posts:
LordPickle · 18/12/2018 15:12

Jesus wept. What sort of family have you married into?! It's terrible that your MIL and FIL would do that to your DS and it's bizarre that your DH doesn't see the problem.

It's just very unkind behaviour all around and I hope you can do something nice with your DS to make it up to him (on their behalf Angry).

ToastyFingers · 18/12/2018 15:12

That's totally shit. I'd refuse any offers to take your DS out in future.

MadameDuBarry · 18/12/2018 15:13

Also, why an adult would choose too see a panto without bring forced to a child in tow is ODD.

Exactly. What a weirdo.

SillyLittleBiscuit · 18/12/2018 15:14

The FIL is as much at fault I think. How strange and mean.

DobbinsVeil · 18/12/2018 15:20

Don't most places charge less for children? Just wondering if PIL will get in on child's ticket.

GooodMythicalMorning · 18/12/2018 15:23

Yeah they do, both pantos ive been to this year children's tickets are cheaper.

Thesearmsofmine · 18/12/2018 15:24

That’s horrible. Very strange behaviour.

rosablue · 18/12/2018 15:25

That's really mean. Also why didn't she check with fil in advance rather than for him to suddenly decide to take ds's ticket?

Was he allowed to use ds's ticket - had they bought an adult's ticket or a child's ticket for him? If they had bought an adult's ticket, do you think that maybe they assumed ds would drop out and be too scared or something to go - so that they get to get the glory of giving the gift but then pretend that it was all his fault that he didn't want to go (make sure that they don't spin it into this).

It could have left you in trouble too if you were relying on mil to be looking after him at that point and instead had to find somebody else to care for him...

It might be worth looking locally for a non-big theatre production panto. Where I live there are several that are put on locally that cost a few pounds, not a big theatre with big names but with very good reputations (either small local theatres or community groups) and that many people choose to go to over the big expensive ones. You might get lucky and find a good one locally to you that you could both enjoy for less than £20.

jessstan2 · 18/12/2018 15:30

I can't believe your father in law decided he would have the ticket instead of his grandson, I feel worse about that man than I do about your mother in law.

Weird people.

Your husband really does need to speak to them about it. It's horrible.

I hope you can find something you and your son will enjoy which won't cost an arm and a leg.

3timeslucky · 18/12/2018 15:31

That's pretty hideous behaviour. By both MIL and FIL.

Just don't trust her to follow through with any future "promises".

Hopefully you can find a panto that you can take your child to to make up for the fact that his GPs are self-centred and horrible.

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