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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this women is a cf

128 replies

sophisticatedsarcasm · 17/12/2018 18:11

I get the bus every morning at the same time, I’m usually Round the 4th /5th person to arrive. It’s usually the same people every day. I’ve been taking the bus at this time for the past 9 years. The last couple of months a lady who has her young daughter, maybe 4/5 years old has been using the same bus stop. Every morning she crosses the literally as the bus is coming across the road and always manages to squeeze on first even though the rest of us have been freezing our asses off for several minutes before her. I’m not even sure how she does it as the 3 older ladies that are there before me usually sally gunnell it to the bus.
This morning one of the guys blocked her so she couldn’t get on before everyone for the first time in months. The point is I usually let those with kids and pushchairs in front of me, but there’s just something about how she is a cf that rubs me the wrong way.

OP posts:
HopeHopity · 17/12/2018 19:02

I’m Indian, Irish and English so no chance for me to be racist 😊**
If I had a penny for every time.....

Allfednonedead · 17/12/2018 19:05

In London I take buses maybe a dozen times a week. I’ve never seen a queue. I don’t let my children push in front, but they’re the exception.
Signed,
An Ignorant Foreigner.

Weightsandmeasures · 17/12/2018 19:06

Sophisticated, how can you say it is probably the Norm for people from her country to be ignorant. Do you truly understand the meaning of norm?

Yes you are racist or incredibly ignorant for levelling such a disgraceful claim against people from another country. A norm to be ignorant because they are not British? Seriously? Then you have the unmitigated gall to say that because you are Indian you cannot be racist? You assume this woman and people from her country are ignorant? Take a good look at yourself.

goforkyourself · 17/12/2018 19:07

Queuing is such a British thing though, Brits will queue until they're blue in the face but never challenge queue jumpers! They'll apologise profusely to someone who steps on their toes and step aside meekly.

I've lived in a Med country for 14 years and you have to get tough with these bastards. My elbows are very sharp Grin

goforkyourself · 17/12/2018 19:09

I don't elbow Brits btw, just the locals and Russian tourists Wink

elizabethdraper · 17/12/2018 19:12

In Ireland it's every person for themselves

IWannaSeeHowItEnds · 17/12/2018 19:12

It could be considered uneducated and unmannerly to not bother learning the accepted behaviour in the country you are visiting and not bother to adjust your own actions.

carbuncleonapigsposterior · 17/12/2018 19:14

There used to be an advert, possibly for a bank, a short while ago, that illustrated behaviours in a range of countries and how what would be considered a normal gesture could well be construed as rude somewhere else, often that would be something quite innocuous. Queuing is peculiar to this country, maybe not so much elsewhere, it makes sense because otherwise it all becomes a sharp elbowed free for all, possibly it's simply the sense of fair play that resonates. I don't think it's racist, after all we are a multicultural nation, to think it should be incumbent on new settlers, whatever their ethnicity to acquaint themselves with the customs and ways of their host nation.

mumsastudent · 17/12/2018 19:20

off subject: we went for a break to Prague - one kind young chap led us through to our metro & told us where to change & get off & whenever I got on "tube" or bus young people stood up & offered me seat! They were lovely & I have heard so many bad things said - lets compare that to tubes & buses especially in London. So please don't make sweeping generalisation (a major stop in a city near us is near a college - boy do those young people push!)

Motheroffourdragons · 17/12/2018 19:21

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ to protect the privacy of the user.

aconcertpianist · 17/12/2018 19:23

@I wannaseehowit ends.

You're right, of course, if the person had been here for a long time but not if they were fairly new to a different country. It takes time to learn customs and we know nothing about the lady that the OP refers to,

None of us go somewhere new and become expert in that country, having magically licked up all we need to know from the floor!

HestiaParthenos · 17/12/2018 19:24

It could be considered uneducated and unmannerly to not bother learning the accepted behaviour in the country you are visiting and not bother to adjust your own actions.

How is she supposed to learn if no one tells her?

I read a lot of British novels and know about British love of queuing, but I honestly wouldn't have thought it applied to bus stops.

(If a queue is formed, then it would be obvious, but three older ladies standing there will hardly be recognized as queue)

Just tell the poor woman she is being rude.

Might be she does it on purpose, but you won't know if you don't talk to her.

Weightsandmeasures · 17/12/2018 19:25

It is perfectly OK to acknowledge that this person is from a different country and may not understand the culture or may be acting contrary to the culture but to claim that she comes from somewhere where it is the norm to be ignorant is an entirely different matter. The OP is calling the majority of people from this woman's country, who had nothing to do with this bus queueing incident as ignorant.

The OP says she is of Indian descent. Imagine if someone made a claim against the majority if Indians as being ignorant for doing something not entirely in keeping with British culture. One can only imagine the shouts of racism! But hey, because she is Indian, it is okay to regard people from another nation as being generally ignorant because ONE person behaves contrary to British culture. Yes, let's hold an entire group of people responsible for one person's action.

Let's extend the OP's logic to one Muslim committing an act of terrorism. Yep, that person probably comes from a country where it's the norm to be a terrorist.

HundredMilesAnHour · 17/12/2018 19:26

In London I take buses maybe a dozen times a week. I’ve never seen a queue.

Maybe you just didn't realise there was an 'invisible' queue. I live in London and whenever I get buses, the same rules apply in London about those who were at the bus stop first get to board first.

I used to live in Hong Kong and the 'invisible' queuing for buses and trams was enforced by the locals big time. Sometimes 'formal' queues happened. And always for each door on the MTR (tube equivalent) during busy times like rush hour. Push in at your peril!! I'm sure it was the British influence but it did make commuting much less unpleasant.

Weightsandmeasures · 17/12/2018 19:28

The OP didn't say the woman was ignorant. She said it is probably the norm in this woman's country to be ignorant. This is so very wrong and disgraceful. Then playing the "I am an Indian so cannot be racist" line.

Onecutefox · 17/12/2018 19:28

I'm from one of those European places.
The idea that people should queue in order of arrival at the bus stop sounds rather strange to me.

Hmm People queue because they have respect to the others in the queue. Chaos is never good.

Birdsgottafly · 17/12/2018 19:33

"I’m Indian, Irish and English so no chance for me to be racist", you have lived, equally in all three Countries?

Onecutefox, queuing isn't the norm in every Country, that isn't difficult to understand.

Onecutefox · 17/12/2018 19:44

Onecutefox, queuing isn't the norm in every Country, that isn't difficult to understand. It isn't, I agree but you assimilate with the locals and even if you're coming as a tourist you notice things which you should and shouldn't do.

Original poster
sophisticatedsarcasm · 17/12/2018 19:47

Okay... I’ll put this so those that think I’m racist can understand.
I consider her particular behaviour ignorant so .... I should have probably wrote,
Maybe in her country it’s the norm to not queue for the bus and push in front of others.
I never said for definite this is the protocol just merely suggested
So just to clarify I am not racist, Nor have I ever been. I find it incredibly insane that saying someone is ignorant jump3d to racism.... it’s like people like to play the racism card for anything nowadays. No I’d don’t think all Muslims are terrorists.
She’s been coming to the bus stop for like 4 months seeing exactly the same people she knows exactly what she’s doing. I happily get on the bus last was strictly asking if she was being a cf...

OP posts:
EwItsAHooman · 17/12/2018 19:49

You made a racist comment, calling you out on that is not "calling the racist card". Evidently MNHQ agree that your remarks were racist as they've deleted them.

Onecutefox · 17/12/2018 19:50

What does 'cf' mean?

PickwickThePlockingDodo · 17/12/2018 19:51

.What difference does it make who gets on the bus first, if everyone gets a seat

You really think it's ok for you to get on the bus before the people who were waiting first? 😲
Rude rude rude.

Please tell her tomorrow, OP, that in this country we queue and to get to the back of it as if she doesn't already know!

EwItsAHooman · 17/12/2018 19:52

What does 'cf' mean?

Cheeky Fucker

Original poster
sophisticatedsarcasm · 17/12/2018 19:52

Like I said I wasn’t intending to be racist and maybe should have worded it different,

OP posts:
KittensAndChristmasCake · 17/12/2018 19:52

What does 'cf' mean?

Cheeky fucker