Just get the f*ck on with it!!! AIBU?!

[applesisapple5]

Some people DH need the perfect conditions to get something started. Solitude, silence, a slight southwesterly breeze...
My method is to get as much done even if you only have two minutes. Then it's done! Chop onions and sling in the freezer while tea is brewing, change the bedsheet even if the duvet waits til later, put things in the Asda online shop as they run out rather than having to remember, that sort of thing.

I drive him mad, he drives me mad, AIBU and what do I dooooooo?

Ltb

Mine is the same. It’s infuriating.

Embrace his good points, play to his strengths....I’m like him. But I’m nice really.

He also blames me for not doing things ‘properly’ when it’s just his own incompetence m. Spent the weekend arguing over a box of cereal he thought I had ‘hidden’ (because I like to our food in cupboards and not just leave it out in the side for ever). Turns out he ate it and forgot to inform the magic shopping fairy so she could get more in.

You'd change the bedsheet but not the duvet cover at the same time - you're infecting the clean sheet with the grubbiness!
(Other than that though...)

Luckily, my OH is like me and we "just do it".

My son is the opposite - he will spend time/energy dreaming up excuses not to do things and then fly into a panic when things have mounted up or he is late for a deadline.

It drives me mad at work too. When people just won't do the quick and simple stuff even though they can. It's fair enough for people to make lists and plan the bigger jobs that are going to need a block of time booked, but they still "plan" the small/trivial stuff, write it on their sodding "to do" lists - they spend longer writing the small stuff on their lists than it would take to actually do it!!

I like to take time to smell the roses...

Well I should have changed the bedding and emptied the dishwasher, instead I have read and responded to your thread, so I guess I have to say YABU

I'm like your husband. I wander round mumbling at myself "just DO something, it doesn't matter as long as something gets done" But I do need to do one thing at a time. When I try to follow your method I end up with overbrewed cold tea that I have to start again. Or onions in the teacup.

What you "do" is divide jobs up so you aren't waiting on each other. You shop, he does laundry. You do your own jobs your way.

I'm the same op, can't stand there waiting til kettle boils, when I could be wiping surfaces at the same time. Its why people get overwhelmed with house cleaning...if you clean the sink and taps while brushing teeth etc, tidy up whilst on the phone, you can easily find time in a day to do small jobs, then at least stuff is kept on top of, generally.

Both methods have their strengths and weaknesses.

People who faff and procrastinate about everything needing to be perfect before they start a task can just be wasting time. But some jobs do need to be planned, especially if it has a lot of stages - for example, decorating a room isn't something you "just crack on with" when the mood takes you. You need to get all the stuff together, clear the room, prepare the surfaces, etc. You don't just think "Oh, I've got a spare ten minutes, might slap some gloss on one of the skirting boards".

And people who start a job then "run out of time" and leave it half done are annoying - I used to go out with someone who was forever "making a start" on the washing up, or planning the holiday, or cleaning the bathroom. Then he'd dash off, leaving it half done and expect me to "just finish it off" because he'd "made a start".

OTOH making a big "task" out of something that can be done in five minutes is annoying. Just quickly bunging on a load of washing isn't that hard and repeatedly saying "I must remember to put out the recycling" ARGH JUST DO IT ALREADY.

My DH drives me nuts with this too

I just get on with shit, he’s an In-A-Minute-er

Drives me quite mad - we needed to run some errands yesterday. He in-a-minuted for 4 fecking hours!

My dh is a bit like that.

I’ve come to terms with the fact that he has his method (wait forever until he’s got the time) and I have mine (bits and pieces when I can).

Sometimes if I leave something to him it won’t happen. But I won’t always finish things as I’m too busy rushing about “multitasking”.

Although sometimes DH doesn’t do something out of stubbornness or because he actually doesn’t want to do it full stop.

My DH makes everything a 2 person job - all the jobs I'm capable of doing alone he ropes me in to - it's a standing joke now - the most simple job eg. put the rubbish out... I say "oh another 2 person job?"

I wish I could be more like this! I'm the classic:

'I will start this at 6'

6.05

'Well missed that have to wait until 7 now'

I probably just need to take a deep breath and have a camomile tea... while wiping down the hob

Just watched a program about the Foreign Office, where the head civil servant said, 'Diplomacy is the art of letting other people have your way'.

I agree with @peridotcricket. You've got to play to his strengths, see if you can get him to help you by other means - after all, it's not the method that counts, it's the result.

Hmm, I think I may be a bit like your DH . . . In our house, we have a division of tasks so we don't wind each other up with our different approaches. Then we give each other a wide berth whilst we're doing them so we don't get the urge to interfere assist.
One of DH's jobs is the laundry but since he hasn't washed the current basket in my timescale, I'm going to do it today whilst he's out because it's annoying me but obviously not bothering him.

Does your husband get anything achieved?

If so that's OK isn't it?

If the duvet being left bothers him-why doesn't he do it?

Thought I was going to agree with you but then read your examples.

Chopping onions while making tea leads to hands smelling of onions while drinking tea - yuck

Changing half the sheets leads to never sleeping in a clean bed - yuck

Doing the on-line shop in bits and pieces takes twice as long and leads to endless confusion - headache

I would have to LTB my DH if he behaved like the Op.

Do or Not Do is my motto even if Not Do for as long as possible is my default.

This is me. I feel like only some people have this skill (my OH definitely doesnt) I think if my brain were scanned it would be split into a thousand different lists
I clean the sink whilst watching the (under 4) kids bathing. Clean the fridge whilst tea cooks. Generally tidy, make mental note of and do as much as I can with every minute of my day. At night I switch off and sleep. Everything is done and I have nothing more to think about. I think I’ve just accepted that my husband does not have this brain capacity. He is however a lot smarter than me but I have all the common sence

But perhaps he wants to do it ‘properly’

*sense (I cannot however spell!)

Now I'm in the middle on this. I do crack on but sometimes I also procrastinate....

I work with a few people who blunder on at a million miles an hour and the quality of their work can be a bit.... er.... um.... crap?!

Are you a late or on time person OP? I ask because my mum is like you and she is always bloody late, drives me mad. Because she thinks she can fit a task into 10 mins and can't, but she has to finish. So maybe not like you.

My DH is procrastinator extraordinaire. But he will also start putting a shelf up 5 mins before we have to go somewhere important.

Don't frozen onions go soggy?