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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Dilemma at DPs work with medication.

121 replies

onalongsabbatical · 15/12/2018 13:04

Posting here for traffic. Here’s the dilemma – my DP saw someone at work, call him Bob, giving someone else, call her Anna, some medication that had been prescribed for Bob. He then said that they weren’t really anti-depressants but they helped and to take them out of the box because the box had his, Bob’s name on it. My DP is now troubled. No-one of these three is anyone else’s superior. There’s no HR dept to tell. DP has emailed boss and boss has said don’t worry, Anna is fine, you’re overthinking.
If Anna is depressed and takes an inappropriate medication it could make her feel worse and she could presumably be at risk of harming herself or someone else in which case Bob’s in the shit, too, right?
But given boss is saying do nothing, nothing to see here, should DP just butt out having done all he can do?
WWYD?

I don't know any of these people I'm just trying to help DP who's obviously been disturbed by what he's seen, which was in the open by the way, at the start of a meeting, not in some dark corner.

OP posts:
sackrifice · 15/12/2018 13:06

They are all adults, he has notified the manager who has decided to take no action.

There is nothing he can do here.

Finfintytint · 15/12/2018 13:10

Someone was sacked at my work for passing on medication to someone it wasn't prescribed to and then lying about it.
Your DH has done the right thing by reporting so not much else he can do if if his boss isn't bothered.

Kikidelivers · 15/12/2018 13:13

Good lord, your DP sounds like such a busy body!!

Soubriquet · 15/12/2018 13:14

What kiki says

I know people who take medications that isn’t theirs. Even I do it occasionally

Lattesforlife · 15/12/2018 13:15

I genuinely wouldn’t even have given this a second thought - I can’t see why it is bothering your DH so much?! They are all grown ups surely?

Lattesforlife · 15/12/2018 13:16

Me and my friends sometimes feel like we operate a communial pharmacy the way we share medication - between period /back pain and not sleeping, we have most ailments covered!

insancerre · 15/12/2018 13:19

There’s not anything else he can do
It’s not any of his business anyway

BaronessBomburst · 15/12/2018 13:19

But if Bob wants to give Anna his medication and Anna wants to take it, there's not much you can do. They're all grown adults!
It may have a detrimental effect.
It may have a position placebo effect.
Maybe DP should suggest to Anna that she goes to her GP and asked to be prescribed some. Then the GP can deal with the situation.

Original poster
onalongsabbatical · 15/12/2018 13:23

Well we’re always told that it’s dangerous to take medication prescribed for someone else. What if Anna has a condition that contra-indicates this medication? What if (not unheard of) it aggravates her mental state and she has a breakdown and hurts herself or someone else? At best it’s likely that whatever they are they won’t help. When she gets to the point of thinking she needs help, does she go to the Dr and admit she’s been taking someone else’s medication?

And yes, we know they’re adults but if you see another adult doing something you think is stupid and could have dangerous consequences do you always just shrug your shoulders? Always?
Point is we're not talking painkillers, we're talking psycho-active mood altering drugs.
I did think that there was nothing more to do if boss isn't interested, so I thought I'd post for other opinions. Seems to be yes, butt out now! Which is fair enough.

OP posts:
IHaveBrilloHair · 15/12/2018 13:27

I've swapped meds loads of times, no one else's business.

BatPie · 15/12/2018 13:30

Bloody - what a meddler! Why did this even catch his interest? Let them crack on. Unless they're doing some sort of heroin drug deal, or something which impacts your husband in the work place, it's none of his business

BatPie · 15/12/2018 13:30

They're grown ups. Seriously, it's not his business at all.

Darkstar4855 · 15/12/2018 13:31

It’s none of his business. It’s Anna’s decision and unless she has learning difficulties or some other reason why she can’t make her own informed choices then he should stay well out of it.

Alfie190 · 15/12/2018 13:33

You and your DP seriously need to start minding your own business! Good grief.

Original poster
onalongsabbatical · 15/12/2018 13:35

Ok ok. Got it! Thank you all for the opinions. Grin

OP posts:
CloserIAm2Fine · 15/12/2018 13:35

HIBU

my friend and her colleagues are forever swapping meds and I disapprove and have told her it’s a bad idea but I’d never go to their manager about it, nor would I expect the manager to do anything about it if I did! The very most they’d do would be remind people not to take other people’s medication, mainly to cover themselves.

These are adults who are entitled to make their own bad decisions. DH should keep his nose out!

placebobebo · 15/12/2018 13:35

Unless Bob is in a position where he is responsible for dispensing medication to the correct people, then its between them. Anna may, or may not have a condition which is contraindicated. However, she must be assumed to have the mental capacity to understand the risks of doing this.
I do not think it is a disciplinary thing, as it is a private arrangement between Bob and Anna and not related to their job. Yes, it is drummed into us that we should not take others medication but it is not a criminal offence and neither is it a work related issue (except for at most the boss could say don't do this at work).

ADastardlyThing · 15/12/2018 13:35

Boss is aware, it's out of your dps hands now.

Is your dp ok though? Seems an odd thing for him to still be 'troubled' over. My first thought was he wanted to stir the pot tbh.

Elphie54 · 15/12/2018 13:35

Does your DH even know what the medication was? How does he know it was a psychoactive medication?

He informed the boss, nothin g else he can do. Now he just needs to let it go and stop worrying about the potential effects it may or may not have on her.

He should also stop meddling. I have a feeeling thisbisnt the only thing he has meddlednin atvwprk, which maybe why the boss isn’t taking it that seriously.

ilovesooty · 15/12/2018 13:36

I'm actually surprised the manager said it was no big deal.

Redglitter · 15/12/2018 13:36

Theyre both adults. You dont know what the meds were or the circumstances. My SIL gave me some of her prescribed meds recently to try. She gets them prescribed but you can also buy them over the counter. Because they're expensive she gave me a few to try. Ive subsequently started buying them. For all you know Bob could be doing similar for Anna

Its really none of your husbands business. His boss seems to agree. What else does he propose to do??

CardsforKittens · 15/12/2018 13:39

Unless there's some other relevant information that you haven't included, I think it's none of anyone's business except Bob and Anna and possibly their doctors.

ReanimatedSGB · 15/12/2018 13:40

Does your DP meddle in your life, as well, or are you a pair of officious busybodies, never happy unless you can drop someone else in it? Both of you need a sharp lesson in keeping your beaks out of other people's business, by the sound of it.

ADastardlyThing · 15/12/2018 13:40

Tbh it is dodgy, if something awful happened on work premises as a result of a reaction to the medication and it came out the company were aware and didn't even have a quiet word with Bob and Anna re the dangers of sharing meds it's entirely possible they could be liable to a degree.

But as I say your dp has done his bit.

MrsStrowman · 15/12/2018 13:40

Christ you two are definitely suited, none of your 'concerns' are your issue. Both are adults with capacity, you and your DH need to be less involved in another person's choices. I have a recurring back injury, I am prescribed naproxen which I only take when it 'goes', got caught out at work, back went, colleague gave me some of her naproxen as mine was at home, it was her choice to give them and my choice to take them, we don't work in an environment where meds are dispensed so I don't see the issue.