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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Dilemma at DPs work with medication.

121 replies

onalongsabbatical · 15/12/2018 13:04

Posting here for traffic. Here’s the dilemma – my DP saw someone at work, call him Bob, giving someone else, call her Anna, some medication that had been prescribed for Bob. He then said that they weren’t really anti-depressants but they helped and to take them out of the box because the box had his, Bob’s name on it. My DP is now troubled. No-one of these three is anyone else’s superior. There’s no HR dept to tell. DP has emailed boss and boss has said don’t worry, Anna is fine, you’re overthinking.
If Anna is depressed and takes an inappropriate medication it could make her feel worse and she could presumably be at risk of harming herself or someone else in which case Bob’s in the shit, too, right?
But given boss is saying do nothing, nothing to see here, should DP just butt out having done all he can do?
WWYD?

I don't know any of these people I'm just trying to help DP who's obviously been disturbed by what he's seen, which was in the open by the way, at the start of a meeting, not in some dark corner.

OP posts:
Elphie54 · 15/12/2018 13:41

“I'm actually surprised the manager said it was no big deal.”

Which is what makes me think the DH has a habit of meddling and stirring the pot/snitching.

Petalflowers · 15/12/2018 13:42

I don’t think it’s anyones business apart from Bob and Anna. Maybe the medication was something Anna already takes and had forgotten to take it that morning/had run out,,so Bob was helping out.

onalongsabbatical · 15/12/2018 13:43

Not remotely interested in dropping anyone in it. Just a bit gob-smacked that people would do this for what's obvs a mental health issue - as he said 'They're not anti-depressants but they helped.'

OP posts:
onalongsabbatical · 15/12/2018 13:44

Honestly I do appreciate all these other ways of looking at it!

OP posts:
Stormy76 · 15/12/2018 13:45

It's not right but it happens a lot, your colleague needs to go to her GP really and get her own medication instead of taking something that isn't prescribed for her and could have a detrimental effect on her.

Next time you see them doing it just say .....isn't it time you went to the docs to get your own meds?

JessicaJonesJacket · 15/12/2018 13:46

They weren't anti-depressants . . . so actually you don't know what they were. They could be St John's Wort for all you know. They could be something you can buy over the counter. Just because the box had Bob's name on it doesn't mean the medication is only available on prescription.

HundredMilesAnHour · 15/12/2018 13:47

he said 'They're not anti-depressants but they helped.'

Neither you nor your DH know what they were. And there's a reason for that. Because it's NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. Stop being such busybodies.

onalongsabbatical · 15/12/2018 13:48

JessicaJonesJacket you see, that's really helpful because that never occurred to me but of course you're right, they could be something like that.

OP posts:
ilovesooty · 15/12/2018 13:49

It would be something management would be wanting to discuss with those involved at my workplace.

I work in a drug and alcohol service.

Bob might even have given her a controlled drug, and that would be illegal.

onalongsabbatical · 15/12/2018 13:49

Yes, we're stopping! It ends there! That's why I posted, to check we were right to leave it there!

OP posts:
aconcertpianist · 15/12/2018 13:50

I see where you and your Dp are coming from.

Is there anyone else at work that you could inform about it, given that the boss has such a nonchalant attitude.

If not, would the police take an interest? is it illegal to give out prescription drugs. If so, I might be tempted to at least log it but if not, maybe an email to Bob detailing all the reasons why it was so wrong. CC the boss.

JessicaJonesJacket · 15/12/2018 13:54

onalong I'm glad that helped. I have prescription medication that can be bought over the counter too. That's what made me think it's actually difficult to draw conclusions from what your DH witnessed.

ADastardlyThing · 15/12/2018 13:55

I really wouldn't follow advice to 'log' with the police or email Bob about why it's so wrong or get involved any further as if it blows up no one will be thanking your dp for it. He's reported it, that's his part done now.

redexpat · 15/12/2018 13:58

If I was your DH I would write down everything that happened, with times and dates, who he told and what was said. Put it somewhere safe and then forget about it all.

Elphie54 · 15/12/2018 14:00

“If not, would the police take an interest? is it illegal to give out prescription drugs.”

You don’t know what it was. It could be something that is OTC for all you know. I take allergy medication and have a prescription for it so insurance covers it, but the medication it’s self anyone can buy without a prescription OTC.

Please do not waste the polices time with this nonsense. They won’t take an interest in it and likely think you’re being ridiculous (which you are).

Obviously a mental health problem? Uhhh no. Just because he heard that one sentence doesn’t mean anything.

Mind your own business.

SassitudeandSparkle · 15/12/2018 14:03

I take it your DH does not like Bob or Anna - has he fallen out with them in work before this happened, OP?

You don't know what they were or why Anna might have needed them. I am surprised that anyone would report this when they don't really know what happened going on what you've said here!

onalongsabbatical · 15/12/2018 14:04

Christ we're not telling the police. Were only wondering whether to press it with the boss on the grounds that if anything happened to worsen Anna's mental health we might feel bad we'd done nothing, that kind of thing.
Really just concerned for Anna and a bit surprised that an adult with a mental health issue would do this rather than go to her own doc or get some counseling. Though it seems - despite the NHS being quite clear that it's dangerous - that lots of people do it.

OP posts:
onalongsabbatical · 15/12/2018 14:06

He has no issues with any of them. Is it not ok to worry about other people's actions? Really, is it entirely seen as being a busy-body?

OP posts:
Jenny70 · 15/12/2018 14:07

Personally I would see if DH is willing to chat to Anna, she is the one putting her health at risk taking a medication she hasn't been prescribed (and by the sound it was prescribed, not OTC).

He could express concern that she may not be getting the correct medication or dose that she needs, which may make her worse, or put back her recovery. Express support and encourage her to get her own medical appointment, rather than trying Bobs for a while.

Also, presumably Bob is also no longer taking this medication, or he wouldn't be handing out his script as he would be needing them himself. If they are anti-depressants, why is he not taking them...

Certainly not something I have seen done, it's not a panadol, or herbal tea.

glueandstick · 15/12/2018 14:07

My friends and I regularly swap medication! I dropped an antibiotic once and a friend gave me one of hers (same dose etc) as she had a long standing condition and took them daily. Saved the NHS a packet!

Elphie54 · 15/12/2018 14:11

You don’t know she has mental health problems and even if she does, it is not your place to police what she does or doesn’t take.

Seriously, your DH over heard one sentence. Out of context it means absolutely nothing.

Redglitter · 15/12/2018 14:12

I cannot believe the old MN favourite of log it with 101 has been trotted out here. Ffs the Ops husband has NO idea what was in the box.

Log it with the Police... dont be so bloody ridiculous

MrMeSeeks · 15/12/2018 14:14

I font think your dp is bu, however there is nothing to do.
I would never swap medication for the reason listed and because some are controlled drugs

Lattesforlife · 15/12/2018 14:18

I have genuinely laughed at the logging it with police suggestion. Really? REALLY?!

SilverySurfer · 15/12/2018 14:22

It's not a good idea taking other people's medication. Years ago my then boss gave me a pill because i was feeling unwell - I went home to bed and woke up three days later.

I think if your DP has told the manager there's nothing much else he can do - they are adults.