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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Dilemma at DPs work with medication.

121 replies

onalongsabbatical · 15/12/2018 13:04

Posting here for traffic. Here’s the dilemma – my DP saw someone at work, call him Bob, giving someone else, call her Anna, some medication that had been prescribed for Bob. He then said that they weren’t really anti-depressants but they helped and to take them out of the box because the box had his, Bob’s name on it. My DP is now troubled. No-one of these three is anyone else’s superior. There’s no HR dept to tell. DP has emailed boss and boss has said don’t worry, Anna is fine, you’re overthinking.
If Anna is depressed and takes an inappropriate medication it could make her feel worse and she could presumably be at risk of harming herself or someone else in which case Bob’s in the shit, too, right?
But given boss is saying do nothing, nothing to see here, should DP just butt out having done all he can do?
WWYD?

I don't know any of these people I'm just trying to help DP who's obviously been disturbed by what he's seen, which was in the open by the way, at the start of a meeting, not in some dark corner.

OP posts:
Elphie54 · 15/12/2018 14:24

You seem to be under the impression that if she did have mental health problems that it is somehow your duty to protect her. Its not!! And it incredibly insulting to anyone who do have mental health issues.

ilovesooty · 15/12/2018 14:25

I agree that he can't do any more than report as he has done. I just think the manager could have reasonably been expected to take it a bit more seriously.

Oblomov18 · 15/12/2018 14:32

I'm truely shocked at what a busy body op and her husband are.

Is this an HR issue? Legally?

I swap/lend medications with tonnes of people, my mum, my only female work colleague, school mums, all sorts.

My MD asked to have one of my anadins that I keep in my top drawer, one day.

DezTheMoaner · 15/12/2018 14:33

I'm going to stick my head above the parapet and say that it is everyone's business because if the medication was in a packet with Bob's nameon it then it has been provided by the NHS which we all pay for and he should not be distributing it willy-nilly to other people.... as for the PP who said her friend let her "try" some of her medication (or vice versa) that is ridiculous - medication should not be "tried" without medical advice - from the chemist if it's over-the-counter stuff and from a qualified doctor if it's prescription only.

However, what the OP's husband can do about it, I really couldn't say.

onalongsabbatical · 15/12/2018 14:37

Oblomov18 but I'm not talking about someone giving someone a headache pill, but about medicating someone's possible depression. Honestly the two things are worlds away!

OP posts:
diddl · 15/12/2018 14:38

Why did he tell his boss?

Is it relevent to the work that they do?

Is he concerned that Anna is vulnerable & being coerced?

MrWolfknowsthetime · 15/12/2018 14:38

Police! Shock

AllTakenSoRubbishUsername · 15/12/2018 14:39

Why has he told the boss about it? It's between them, right? Not the boss's or your partner's business. Sounds like interfering on a big scale.

ADastardlyThing · 15/12/2018 14:40

I'd say it is a HR issue, the boss now knows, and if a workplace accident happened as a result of adverse reaction to the meds and it came out the company knew, well, it would be brown trouser time for me if I was the boss that's for sure. That being said most workplaces have a drugs at work policy where the onus is on the employee to alert their employer if they are taking meds that can affect their ability to perform their job.

It's not a situation I've been in, but say a manager did tell me they knew someone had been sharing meds, I'd absolutely advise the manager to have a chat with both to try and find out what it was and if side affects can be harmful.

Elphie54 · 15/12/2018 14:40

You have no idea if she has depression. Or not based on one fucking sentence!

Stop assuming, wind your neck back in and leave those two alone!

If I were Anna I would be taking to the boss about your DH harassing me, as well as complain that he is spread false information to the boss about being depressed.

onalongsabbatical · 15/12/2018 14:42

diddl no, he's concerned that Anna is vulnerable and reaching for solutions that will actually harm her. And that Bob's offered her something rather thoughtlessly, instead of supporting her to go for proper help.

OP posts:
onalongsabbatical · 15/12/2018 14:43

Elphie54 ok, got it.

OP posts:
ikltownofboothlehem · 15/12/2018 14:51

If boss said Anna is fine maybe Anna has probably told him about her health and any treatment she may be on? It's possible she's already taking meds but forgot them that morning or hadn't picked up a new prescription.

bluegreygreen · 15/12/2018 14:54

Presumably Anna and Bob are adults.

If your DP felt he had to do something about this situation (which was none of his business) why didn't he simply speak to them both, and explain why using other people's meds isn't a good idea? It would be entirely up to them, as adults, to decide whether to take his advice.

I can see no reason why he would tell the boss, unless this is in some way related to their job (assume you woukd have said if they were medical/pharmacists, etc).

And I agree with Elphie54. Iwould be very angry if someone suddenly decided to give my boss some medical information about me - even more so if it was erroneous, which is highly likely.

user1457017537 · 15/12/2018 14:56

Why is it any of your DH or your business. They are not doing crack cocaine or other illegal drug deals. Can’t believe you think you should tell HR or bosses.

mrkaykay · 15/12/2018 14:57

Most likely bob has some prn anti anxiety tablets that he takes when things are a bit much. Anna mentions she's feeling overwhelmed bob pops her a pill that will give her a chance to calm down. Now when Anna goes to the Drs she will know if that tablet does or does not work.
I wouldn't worry about it at all.

HollowTalk · 15/12/2018 14:59

Blimey. I could ALMOST see why your husband's bothered, but why are you bothered?

MartaHallard · 15/12/2018 15:00

It's possible she's already taking meds but forgot them that morning or hadn't picked up a new prescription.

Still doesn't make it right for her to take Bob's. They were presumably prescribed for Bob for a reason. If he's not taking them, his condition, whatever it is, isn't being treated effectively.

All you people who share prescription meds around your family and friends, are you totally honest with your doctors about what you've taken, or what you should have taken, but haven't, because you gave it to someone else?

Elphie54 · 15/12/2018 15:01

“Blimey. I could ALMOST see why your husband's bothered, but why are you bothered?“

Because she likes to meddle in things that are none of her business.

ENormaSnob · 15/12/2018 15:02

Your dh needs wind his neck in.

Busy body.

Lattesforlife · 15/12/2018 15:05

MartaHallard I have absolutely, on more than one occasion, been to the doctors and said my friend let me try X, can I have it because it worked. I’ve also said that certain drugs have been recommended to me, and I’d like to try them. Obviously for a condition I have, not just shits and giggles! They have never batted an eyelid before so I can only assume it’s not that rare!

SofiaAmes · 15/12/2018 15:06

I can't believe how many stupid people there are on this thread. Really if you saw someone doing something dangerous/possibly life threatening would you not say something to them or to their supervisor? I am sorry for the people who are in your lives. If my adult son who is mentally ill was taking medication that was not prescribed for him, I would very much want someone to say something. It is very very dangerous to take medications meant for depression, if you have bipolar or are taking other medications (for other medical or mental health conditions) or using street drugs (yes, even marijuana). My ds almost died last year from doing this and his friend did die this year and my ds' biggest sorrow is that a third friend who knew that the now dead friend was inappropriately mixing medications didn't say anything.

The OP wasn't talking about getting anyone arrested. Her dh just wanted to make sure that someone doing something potentially foolish was aware that it could be dangerous. And apparently looking at the comments from all the people on this thread, there are a lot of people out there who really don't understand how dangerous taking non-prescribed prescription medications (particularly ones for mental health) can be.

AnotherOriginalUsername · 15/12/2018 15:07

Depends what it is really. If it's something like diazepam there could potentially be legal repercussions, it's classified as a class C drug

ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 15/12/2018 15:07

I have to admit I am Shock at all the people here who claim to be quite happy sharing prescription medication. Paracetamol may be ok, but of it's not available OTC you shouldn't be giving it out!

And to the PP that dismissed it as probably being St Johns Wort - do you think that Bob advised Anna that it might stop the contraceptive pill working?

onalongsabbatical · 15/12/2018 15:08

I'm not bothered! I'm just trying to help him because he couldn't decide what the fuck to do.

Re being cross at telling the boss and why didn't he say something immediately, the boss was there! It was at the beginning of a meeting and only later DP mentioned it to me and that he'd found it playing on his mind and should he say anything. Hence posting. To see what people think. Which I agree. No more to be said. He's flagged it to the boss, end of. Thanks for agreeing.

OP posts: