Fuck off with your fucking balloons

[MaryofMislethwaiteManor]

Alright, hands up, I’m hungover to fuck from a big party last night (free bar and free food which no one was bloody well eating ) and I have to go to a two year old’s party later (I might eat a very rare burger for lunch to try and get out of that, as last time I did that the world fell out of my bottom )

But I’ve just seen on Facebook that they’re currently in the process of blowing up 500 FIVE HUNDRED balloons to fill the restaurant (yes, the two year old is having their party at 7pm in a restaurant )

WHY? WHY??? Why would you just willy nilly leave 500 balloons floating around to just remain in a horrid wrinkly plastic shape for the next 1000 years, or blow away and just hang on a tree, or smother a bloody I don’t know, marlin in the sea? Why????????? And why would you spend your day blowing up 500 balloons???

Arghhhhhh it’s going to be such a long day.

FREE SLEEPING. FUCK.MY.LIFE.

I am in a constant battle with my (Asian) MIL about this utter shite.

My daughter loves staying at their house, probably primarily because they let her stay up until 11 (she's 3) and maraud around.

My MIL is mostly great, but she loves to hand down pearls of wisdom about childcare/life in general to me. The amazing health benefits of Korean food (which is great but full of salt and sugar), the fact that I should never sit cross-legged, how my daughter will be spoiled and selfish if I don't have another and so on and so on.

Her favourite recent topic of conversation is sleep. Children should sleep when the mother sleeps. They should exhaust themselves and then sleep. They should never be allowed to sleep in cars/planes/anywhere apart from 1cm away from me. Pillows and blankets and toys in babies' beds, however? Those are fine. Falling asleep on the sofa with a newborn? No problem!!! That's NATURAL.

I have seen the result of free sleeping among the students I used to tutor. Not attractive. If they fall asleep on their desk? Not a problem! They're tired! Let them sleep!

Thin-lipped smiles, 'yes, mother' and 'ok, but this is how we choose to do it' do not get you far.

Like I said, wonderful, supportive woman in many ways, but her constant advice makes me want to tear my hair out.

Linsey your parting shot was to wish that her invite was cancelled; 24 hours after the event took place.

People are not making fun of a 2 year old. People are expressing incredulity - and poking fun - at the pretension of the child's parents.

Oh dear! I am lol, this thread has totally cheered up my Monday morning!

How'd the party go then? 😂

“Not a problem. They are helium filled not hydrogen. Helium is inert, it will not burn or explode.”

Helium filled balloons are a MASSIVE problem. Helium is a finite resource. It is vital to medicine (anaesthetics). And we are wasting it on tacky crap non-biodegradable silver foil balloons!

This has cheered up my commute !!! .. was it shite OP ?

Anyway, yuk, I can just imagine all the kids throwing the balloons and then landing in the buffet dishes of chicken in cashew...

Blatant place marking

@linsey2581 if you read the thread no one is taking the mick out of the kid, he’s 2 and has no choice in it. We were laughing at the sheer ridiculousness of the parents... Macbeth?! Really? It’s an utterly twatty name. No one said the kid was a twat. Let’s be honest, because of his parents attempt to be pretentious that poor kid is going to have these kind of reactions all his life.

Let this be a lesson to those who decide to name their kids something complete idiotic, think of how it will effect them in the long term before you call it “Table Sachet Millicent Jones” or the like

In order to really believe this is a legit story we need an update on the night in question. Come on, OP! We neeeeed to know!

How was the party?

For all those clutching their pearls about the rights of the parents to waste 500 balloons on a child's birthday -

Helium is a finite resource. When it's gone, it's gone.
We cannot make more.
In addition to being wasted in balloons, it's used in MRI scanners and also mixed with oxygen for babies with breathing difficulties.

So next time you're looking at an infant in NICU have a think about how vital helium is, and if it's really defensible to support people wasting it in party balloons - which serve no other purpose than to be thrown away after a few hours.

"We were laughing at the sheer ridiculousness of the parents... Macbeth?! Really? It’s an utterly twatty name."

It's not much twattier than most of the crap that gets paraded about on mn.

Ban free sleeping, then DC wouldnt have tiredness rage issues surely?

My 2 year old is fast asleep at 7pm whether it's his birthday or not. They sound like twats.

Free Sleeping lolZ

PMSL at this 😂😂😂

I rarely post on here, but this has really pissed me off. 500 balloons ? Another fucking moron fucking up the planet. Grrrrrrrrrrr, what's wrong with these people, there is NO FUCKING EXCUSE ANYMORE.

I do want this to be true. I do know parents who are utter twats.

When my daughter was 2 she was terrified of balloons popping. I can imagine a lot of balloons popping at that party and a lot of very young children being traumatised over it.

What a strange party. I don't envy you.

I’m not keen either!

I don’t care if this is real or not - the PP who said “was the mum up the MacDuff” made my day

Ineke yeah ok love. Sure you do.

Have come across, someone recently apparently has named their sprog, Adolf, after Hitler. And a parent at a school I know called their daughter Idasha, but spelt like this..I-a

2 of the most popular urban myths about childrens names there