Fuck off with your fucking balloons

[MaryofMislethwaiteManor]

Alright, hands up, I’m hungover to fuck from a big party last night (free bar and free food which no one was bloody well eating ) and I have to go to a two year old’s party later (I might eat a very rare burger for lunch to try and get out of that, as last time I did that the world fell out of my bottom )

But I’ve just seen on Facebook that they’re currently in the process of blowing up 500 FIVE HUNDRED balloons to fill the restaurant (yes, the two year old is having their party at 7pm in a restaurant )

WHY? WHY??? Why would you just willy nilly leave 500 balloons floating around to just remain in a horrid wrinkly plastic shape for the next 1000 years, or blow away and just hang on a tree, or smother a bloody I don’t know, marlin in the sea? Why????????? And why would you spend your day blowing up 500 balloons???

Arghhhhhh it’s going to be such a long day.

You have my deepest sympathy but why are you friends with people who blow up 500 balloons and celebrate a 2year old's part at a Chinese buffet? You've made your bed I'm afraid..

I think the rare burger has killed the OP

Posting in case OP comes back with an update.

I only got the email about this thread today

And? Did that prevent you from reading the OP and noting the date it was posted?

Top tip: Passive aggressive statements such as I hope that they cancel your invite and similar, work so much better when the event hasn't already taken place...

Was last night

Family

Yes, they’ve booked out an entire Chinese buffet restaurant.

Ooh, an evening with a bunch of two year olds with no sleep routine, overwrought with tiredness, high on MSG and chewing on burst bits of rubber. Sounds like the party of the year.

Not a problem. They are helium filled not hydrogen. Helium is inert, it will not burn or explode.

Oh OP, diddums. I SO hope you survived this ordeal.

So, let me summarise:.you went to a media party (a MEDIA party, did everyone hear? With trendy hipster food in little bowls that no one eats!!! We get the lights on the bleeding runway, love. You move in trendy circles). You went to this party and, despite having a commitment the next day, got wasted (70% ethanol! The wit!) and now you're spitting your dummy because you're hungover and, in order to get us on your side, decided to make fun of this family so that we will all side of you.

If I had to choose between parents who name their children after Shakespeare plays, allow free sleeping, and give parties in restaurants with too many balloons - and hypocritical, judgmental, braggy snowflakes who courageously mock others anonymously cos they've not got the backbone to know when to stop drinking - I know which type of parent I would choose.

The rest of you who colluded with this nonsense, and set about mocking and judging people you don't even know - shame on you.

Merry fucking Christmas.

Need to know if there will be an update from this and whether it's real

@Roussillon849

I couldn't give less of a shit if you or OP are trendy or not. I don't care if you had your baby's christening reception on a park bench swigging white lightning or in the dorchester hotel. 500 balloons is terrible for the environment and if you choose to use that many you're massively self absorbed and irresponsible. You sound like you have a huge chip on your shoulder.

So, there are basically two types of balloons - foil and latex. The foil ones are the crap ones - Shiney foil shit and completely non biodegrable and made with a layer of aluminium that is 0.0015 of an inch thick. Latex balloons are made from the sap of a RUBBER tree - a completely natural substance. They biodegrade at the same rate as an oak leaf. (About 6 months). They are NOT PLASTIC.
So latex balloons are fine and of course there is never any plastic crap at children’s parties....

What I have is a keen nose for bullshit and an inability to stand by and not call it when I see it.

The balloon thing is of course environmentally very unsound, and we are right to find fault with it.

Colluding with the OP in cruelly mocking people she made a commitment to that she now regrets, however - that is despicable, sheeplike behaviour. The anonymity only makes it worse.

We love judging others but, being judged ourselves - less so, right?

@Roussillon849 you seem to be taking this rather personally...

BUSTED.

We held little Hamlet's 2nd birthday party at the local all-you-can-eat Mexican buffet. Not a bowl of macaroni cheese in sight but only a few balloons, mind.

I feel SO personally alluded to. That is the only reason I posted!

LOL. Take a pin.

That’s hilarious - just hope one of the kids didn’t try and bite into one of the 500 balloons !! Not always a good result when that happens ...

500? Too much!!!!! A few is fine but that's waay too much.
While we're on the subject of balloons I though you meant age balloons at first by the title. Fine up to age 21, iffy at 30 but tacky,crass and tasteless beyond that.

Sooo @Roussillon849 is this about you?
I’m confused if this is getting faker by the minute.

How do u get that many inflated balloons to a venue lol

Hamlet? Why the fuck did you name your kid after a cigar?

how do you get 500 balloons to a venue? You just HIRE someone to do it. How do you get a 4ft high Peppa Pig cake to a party? You just find someone to make it and deliver it. Etc etc. Or, you just do what you want and how you want and stuff everyone else. 500 balloons. 5 balloons. Simple. Each to his own.

I got a feeling the OP's been outed!

The birthday girl is called Lady Macbeth?!

I got a feeling the OP's been outed!

It was inevitable really.