Fuck off with your fucking balloons

[MaryofMislethwaiteManor]

Alright, hands up, I’m hungover to fuck from a big party last night (free bar and free food which no one was bloody well eating ) and I have to go to a two year old’s party later (I might eat a very rare burger for lunch to try and get out of that, as last time I did that the world fell out of my bottom )

But I’ve just seen on Facebook that they’re currently in the process of blowing up 500 FIVE HUNDRED balloons to fill the restaurant (yes, the two year old is having their party at 7pm in a restaurant )

WHY? WHY??? Why would you just willy nilly leave 500 balloons floating around to just remain in a horrid wrinkly plastic shape for the next 1000 years, or blow away and just hang on a tree, or smother a bloody I don’t know, marlin in the sea? Why????????? And why would you spend your day blowing up 500 balloons???

Arghhhhhh it’s going to be such a long day.

I’m hoping the update is so ridiculously elaborate, or just hoping it’s not total bs as it’s made such good reading. And I don’t get out so have to live through other people

Placemark....!

Ive got an impacted wisdom tooth and an abscess. Deeply miserable. Haven’t smiled in three days. Until this thread. OP, this is gold.

OP please come back and update us

Op is not coming back because OP is too busy washing and conditioning their hairy hands.

Where has the op gone 🤔

I quite like the name Macbeth, and love it shortened to Mac - which is a fairly popular (if old fashioned) Scottish name. Imagine poking fun at a wee boy's name.

Late/ flexible bedtimes are also not an issue as far as I can see it (a large part of my family are European and find the British obsession with hurrying children off to bed at 7pm odd- it rules out family dinner for people who don't get back from work until that time.)Quite a lot of silliness around that on this thread too. Really MN, I thought you were all (well, most of you) a little less narrow minded than this.

I'm assuming that the gift list literature thing was an embellishment on the story, by an OP who was enjoying the reaction and trying to squeeze out a few more back claps.....

I totally agree on the balloons though- hateful, wasteful and harmful things!

OP, I hope that you haven't been outed and I think you're lucky that the Daily Hate haven't picked up on this one! Hope your hangover is better and you don't have The Fear

I've only read page one and am already crying at I can’t have a beer. I’m literally about 70% ethanol right now. I certainly wouldn’t go near a naked flame.

You're easily pleased.

Super soft landing if you keep over; you can then show Mac how to free sleep on a bed of balloons!

Stupid auto correct, should say keep over!

Ok... that got weird real quick

It did it again. Keel!!!

Patiently waiting for the sequel to this one 🤨

Update please!! What happened ? Did McBeth kill McDuff? Was there a fight at all like in Bridget Jones Diary?

I worry maybe she was still a little tipsy and said too much. Mum of Macbeth may not have been on mumsnet but perhaps someone she knows is. 😬

Awww, I believed this (or didn't actively disbelieve it, at least) until I read the To Kill a Mockingbird present post. That was a step too far. Funny though.

I was just going to say .. that most caught serial killers are supposed to each have a copy of to kill a mocking bird... just saying .... you know .. Macbeth’s career path with his rage... !

I’m furious on your behalf!! I have a f——— foil balloon stuck in my tree, in my garden. Some twat ‘let it go’ and now it’s stuck in the top of my tree FOREVER!!! I can’t reach it, it’s soooo tangled it will never work itself free. It will never biodegrade. It’s just there, littering and ruining my tree, scaring the birds and making an awful noise flapping around in the wind. AND....a big AND....helium is in short supply and being recklessly wasted on a 2 yr old who couldn’t care less about 500 balloons now but may well care about the lack of helium in his/her later life. I despair 😩 of some parents 🙄

There are far worse names for a child that I Have come across, someone recently apparently has named their sprog, Adolf, after Hitler. And a parent at a school I know called their daughter Idasha, but spelt like this..I-a....! In Australia you cannot get away with ridiculous names for kids, just not allowed.

And a parent at a school I know called their daughter Idasha, but spelt like this..I-a....! Really? How are people allowed to do it?!

DBN1

Ineke And a parent at a school I know called their daughter Idasha, but spelt like this..I-a....! Really? How are people allowed to do it?!

They don't, it's (racist) urban myth that gets trotted out for reasons I do not know why...

www.snopes.com/fact-check/le-a/

But to be fair - Ineke's more likely to know a baby "le-a" than anything else on this thread is likely to have actually happened, so....

So what that I didn't notice the date of op? The point I was making is that so many people were being nasty about the child's name and to me it was down right bullying. Other posters should be ashamed of themselves for making fun of a 2 year old !