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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be completely touched and emotional over this gesture?

123 replies

Elphie54 · 15/12/2018 00:19

We live in a flat and we have a neighbor that has been going through a bit of a rough patch (death in the family and health issues). We’ve been supportive and helping them out with really simple things without expecting anything in return, because that’s what good neighbors do. We had made extra food and brought it over some nights when the wife was alone. I had driven her to the hospital when her father died because I didn’t want her driving hysterical. We had helped pick up things for the family funeral. Just really simple things.

I come home today to find a note taped to our door. It was a thank you note. Inside was the equivalent of £250!!!! I’m so touched and started crying. I know they don’t know our financial situation, but it will help greatly with Christmas. I knocked on the door and told her it was too much, but she said she wouldn’t hear of it.

OP posts:

HmmGrey · 16/12/2018 20:32

Lovely post to read. Nice to know there’s still good and genuine people out there.

Enjoy the money! Merry Christmas

yorkrose · 16/12/2018 21:53

You're lovely op and I'm really pleased for you that you are appreciated.

Thanks for posting.

Teacher22 · 16/12/2018 22:23

If you have money and disaster strikes cash is of little use but a helping hand by a good neighbour is what makes the difference and this is why the OP’s friend has given a token of appreciation. It would be churlish to return it, especially after a return had been offered and turned down.

This is a heartwarming Christmas story. A good deed performed and gratitude and thanks offered. A light in a dark world.

browneyes77 · 16/12/2018 22:24

My first choice would be to return it to the neighbours. If they refused, I would donate it.

Quite frankly, if I’d given someone this kind of money as a thank you and they then donated it somewhere, I’d be pretty pissed. Because if id wanted the money donated I’d have asked them to choose a charity of their choice for me to donate the money to, not given them the cash.

If someone has given you a gift as a thank you and you give that gift away, then I just think that’s bloody rude.

Clearly the OP was a very valued help at a difficult time and the neighbour wanted to say thank you in a generous way, because that’s how much the help meant to them. The neighbour wouldnt have given that much if they couldn’t afford it.

Being a martyr doesn’t get you very far these days. If someone gives you a gift, accept it gracefully instead of looking ungrateful by giving it away.

Catsinthecupboard · 16/12/2018 22:40

Use it in the manner it was intended. Once on awhile things work out for one of the Good People of which you're one.

Have fun and a simple thank you will suffice.

P.s. i didn't rtft bc i didn't want to read the holier than thou charity crap. Sometimes WE are the ones who need help. Also, I've read enough of mn to know a slightly different scenario and the suggestions for the money would be spent drinking and whatever.

This is money for you. Spend it gratefully and graciously.

CountessWindyBottom · 16/12/2018 23:03

It’s nice to be nice and how lovely to be appreciated in such a way. Happy Christmas xx

Sara107 · 16/12/2018 23:05

It sounds like you have been really lovely OP, don’t minimise your actions as ‘really simple’ or just what anyone would do. Sometimes the simple things like a lift or even just knowing that if there is a crisis you could knock on the neighbours door, can just make a world of difference. And it’s not just what anyone would do, read the thread yesterday about the woman whose neighbour ignores her and all the people jumping in to say yes, they have nothing to do with their neighbours and inviting someone to drop in for a cuppa is definitely too pushy. Your neighbours are lucky to have you and they know it!

Original poster

Elphie54 · 16/12/2018 23:15

Thank you everyone for the kind words.

OP posts:

sjonlegs · 17/12/2018 18:23

Clearly you're a good neighbour and a wonderful human being! Good for you and what a lovely neighbourhood you live in. Blimey - you ought to post your positivity on this post ...

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3451638-Facebook-Posts-about-unable-to-pay-for-shopping-so-the-lady-behind-paying?watched=1&msgid=83397972#83397972

... seem to be a whole load of negative, distrusting sceptics on there! #justsayin

Have a great Christmas!

2littleguineas · 17/12/2018 18:32

This is a lovely thread, nice to see kindness received and reciprocated from both sides.
Enjoy the gift op and use it in the spirit it was intended to make your life a little nicer.

I'm not sure why some people felt the need to be kill joys on here and try and take the good out of your lovely gift. If the neighbours didn't want to give a gift they wouldnt have, if they wanted to donate their money to a good cause they would have done just that. Why do strangers on here think they get a say in other people's money?

LovelyIssues · 17/12/2018 22:09

That's so lovely of both of you. You're such an amazing neighbour. Enjoy it xxx

bumblingbovine49 · 20/12/2018 09:58

If you refuse to accept it after they have insisted , it will make them embarrased and they will feel bad.

People on MN are so weird abut money . I imagine that If they couldn't afford they, they wouldn't have given it to you.

You gave your time and energy to them in a very generous way. They are probably ware that this is worth more than money but at this time in their lives they don't have time and energy to spare, they have money so are giving you that instead.

Happy Christmas OP

deste · 20/12/2018 10:02

OP you did a lovely kind thing for your neighbour but the jealousy and hatred from some of the posters is beyond belief, why do you have to pick every post the OP makes. OP enjoy the money because if she didn’t want to give it to you she wouldn’t have. She is probably taking fuel cost etc into consideration when deciding on the gift.

AWishForWingsThatWork · 20/12/2018 10:18

It sounds like your neighbour is grateful to have you for a neighbour and wants to make sure you have a lovely Christmas.

MargoLovebutter · 20/12/2018 14:51

That is a lovely story, thank you for sharing OP. It is so good to hear about people being kind and neighbourly and also that their efforts are really appreciated.

jessstan2 · 20/12/2018 14:59

I responded earlier in the thread but have come on again to say, again, what a lovely thing your neighbour has done and what a smashing neighbour you are!

Enjoy the money, it is yours. It was an act of generosity towards a couple who had been extremely generous.

NKFell · 20/12/2018 15:01

You're both lovely people

EverybodyLovesRaymond · 20/12/2018 15:06

That is lovely. There has to be the odd one or two posters that have to be negative. Ignore them, I think it's very rude to say you'd donate it. You have been very good to your neighbours.

OopsInamechangedagain · 20/12/2018 15:19

Why $325? That's an odd amount!

Original poster

Elphie54 · 20/12/2018 15:40

Thank you all, and yes I am ignoring the negativity.

As for the amount-I agree it is odd, but would be rude to question why.

OP posts:

erykahb · 20/12/2018 16:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Fatbutt · 20/12/2018 16:32

@erykahb is this on the wrong post?

erykahb · 20/12/2018 19:31

Whoops. Yes, wrong post. How embarrassing- I was being a bitch too.

Have posted on here before so just to reiterate, you sound lovely and deserving of the gift

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