To be completely touched and emotional over this gesture?

[Elphie54]

We live in a flat and we have a neighbor that has been going through a bit of a rough patch (death in the family and health issues). We’ve been supportive and helping them out with really simple things without expecting anything in return, because that’s what good neighbors do. We had made extra food and brought it over some nights when the wife was alone. I had driven her to the hospital when her father died because I didn’t want her driving hysterical. We had helped pick up things for the family funeral. Just really simple things.

I come home today to find a note taped to our door. It was a thank you note. Inside was the equivalent of £250!!!! I’m so touched and started crying. I know they don’t know our financial situation, but it will help greatly with Christmas. I knocked on the door and told her it was too much, but she said she wouldn’t hear of it.

Lovely thread … apart from a couple of the usual naysayers

Honestly, I believe that some people don't recognize the pleasure it gives to the giver in some sitiations. It's a bugbear of mine, because some of my family seem to dislike the fact that I'm now in a position to be generous. I don't want anything in return, I just want to treat the people I love.

I told DD that if my Mum offered her money, she should take it. I could see the pleasure it gave her. She did things for her grandchildren that she couldn't do for me and my sister.

OP, put the money to good use (which it sounds like you are doing).I
Your neighbours clearly appreciated you actions and want to reward them

OP, Sorry to hear about your cat, it sounds like you've had a lot to deal with, financially and emotionally this year. Strangely enough, my friend had also been dealing with unexpected vet bills, when I did what I did. She'd had one thing after another to cope with, financially, and there was me, with more money than I'd ever had before. I gave some to charity, but kept thinking about her situation, and it seemed mad to be helping strangers out but ignoring a friend in need. She was stunned to receive a cheque in the post, with a Christmas card. She kept checking that I was really sure about it, and I said I'd never been more sure, she'd been a good friend to me and she'd been through tough times, so I wanted to treat her.

Receiving inheritance has made me view money in a very different way. Once your own needs are met, and you have financial security for yourslf and your family, you realise that any surplus money means little more than numbers on a bank statement, unless you put it to good use. Donating to charity is worthwhile, and treating friends is a real pleasure - either choice is valid.

Sorry, I didn't mean to hijack your thread OP. It's just that I've never spoken about this in real life to anyone apart from my DH and one relative, because so many people are in financial straits that it's not something you talk about openly.

If you donated money i’d Given to you i’d be annoyed as I could give to charity myself. Accept it graciously, thank your neighbour and continue to be good friends.

I definitely agree that at least 50% or more of the point of giving gifts and doing nice things is that it makes the giver feel good. There are nice people in the world who actually like giving a gift they know will make someone happy. OP'S neighbours want OP to enjoy this gift and OP should definitely go for it without gift. It sounds like OP and her neighbours are just all lovely people!

I definitely didn’t donate it. They really are special neighbors to us. Their daughter (who moved back home after a horrible DV/abusive relationship) is around the same age as me, so ever since I’ve lived here, they’ve treated me like a second daughter.

That lovely xx

OP you deserve the money now just make sure to enjoy it

Sounds like you are great neighbours!
She will have got great joy at your surprise at the gift she gave you. Enjoy it. Experience joy also.
Merry Christmas op!!

What goes around, comes around!!

You clearly deserve it!

Merry Christmas!

There's always some fucker who will try to suck the good out of everything. I think it's a lovely gesture. You are so lucky to have and be such good neighbours. I had to drive myself to my parents' home an hour away the morning my dad died, and drive home the night my mum died, and I'd have appreciated support so much on those occasions.

If your friends want you to have this money, then accept it graciously and enjoy it.

If you want to think of it as a donation, then consider it a donation towards your vet bill. So sorry about your poor kitty too.

Enjoy every penny as it was intended x

@elphie54 that’s so lovely! You clearly helped her through some tough times and she clearly appreciated it.
I’m welling up for you!
Enjoy the extra and don’t forget that you deserve a treat too-not for spending it all on others!!
Good things happen to good people. Have a wonderful Christmas xxx

I promise me and my slothy mates would never have eaten your cash (and this is my regular name on here)

We live in a society where so little care is shown for the homeless, vulnerable children who will not have a good Christmas etc that it really is heartwarming to read your post. You have made a difference with no expectation of reward. Your neighbour has recognised it. Be proud, thank her and enjoy yourselves

Beautiful on both sides.

It’s very generous but I really couldn’t accept a cash gift that large. If they won’t take it back, I would donate most of it, keeping only a token amount.

Is that not just rude to the person who's given it to you though? Say I did a favour for a friend and, knowing how much I love clothes, they splurged £250 on various items for me. How do you think they would feel if they went into the local charity shop and saw the items in there? And do you think they'd be mollified if I said "Oh I kept the gloves and gave all the rest to charity".

If it makes you feel better giving stuff to charity, how do you think the gift giver feels giving you something you might appreciate? It's just weirdly puritanical to think "Oh I must not have this". I appreciate charities need more, but giving away a gift feels inappropriate in this instance.

What a lovely & appreciative lady. Faith partially restored.....

I couldn't accept that. Write her a heartfelt letter thanking her and letting her know that you only wanted to help and maybe one day she'll need do do the same for you. Return the money with the letter so she is not offended.

Awh it is really lovely, she is very lucky to have you as her neighbour. I am sure giving the gift made her warm inside too.

I am glad it will make your Christmas easier, true kindness is repaid with kindness in all forms

I think it is a lovely gesture but I don't think I would be comfortable accepting this. I would have to ask them about it and make sure they were 100 % sure. I know it's unlikely but there could be a time in the future that they ask for it back, or they may have felt they owed you something and have given too much.

Wonderful ❤️

Payment upfront... for any future duties. Sorry but I am such a cynic...

Did anyone else hear the Neighbours theme tune in their head when reading “because that’s what good neighbours do” ? Good thing no one ran off with the money taped to your door. Glad your xmas is looking brighter x

That was so kind of your neighbours ...and you have been really kind to them op. Why would you donate it? If your neighbours had wanted to make a donation with that money to some worthy cause in recognition of your kindness, they could have done so. They gave it to you. They wanted to help you ...just as you had helped them. That's lovely. Enjoy.

“Return the money with the letter so she is not offended.”

That would be rude and offending since they already told me they wouldn’t take it back.