To ask for advice regarding claiming benefits?

[5iveGoldRings]

I’ll give the bare bones to make it shorter but happy to answer additional questions.

Been with DP 4 years.
We have 1 Ds and I’m 18 weeks pregnant.

We’ve never lived together - we live in the same street (it’s how we met) but have not blended families. This works very well for us. We both have 2 dc from previous relationships that live with us.

I started a new job just before I found out I was pregnant. Was told yesterday (a week after telling my boss) that I haven’t passed probation and they’ve let me go.

I don’t know what to do. I’m obviously pregnant by looking and am worried that I won’t find another job. I’ve enquired to join up with a few agencies but I live in quite a rural area and the only thing they can offer me at the moment is care work, which I’d be willing to do if it wasn’t for my SPD.

I’ve looked into it and I can claim maternity allowance from 29 weeks pregnant but that doesn’t help me in the meantime. I have some savings which were to supplement my wages whilst on maternity leave but it’s not nearly enough to cover all outgoings.
I can’t claim UC as I have more than 2 children.

What I’m worried about is if I put in a claim for JSA, housing benefit and tax credits would I be eligible or would they expect DP to be supporting me? His income is not enough to run two households and his ex wife has actually just stopped working so he has lost his child maintenance payments and is struggling himself at the moment, he’s using his savings to cover the shortfall in that, plus someone ran into his car and drove off, writing it off so he’s had to pay out for lots recently.

It seems to have been one thing after the other bad luck wise recently.

I’ve tried going into the job centre but they’ve said I have to do it online but there’s no option for my circumstances.

Does anyone have any advice?

This isn't going to go well here OP. why have you had a child with a man who can't afford more children? You're a couple pretending not to be.

This will depend on whether the assessors see you as being in a relationship. Do you have joint finances, at all? There's a lot that gets taken into account, not just your address.

If you are classed as a couple; he'll be expected to support you if he can afford to. His income will be taken into account when deciding any support for you.

If you're not; his income won't be taken into account. I'm honestly not sure which benefit they'd give you if you're in a UC area but have too many kids to claim; id imagine JSA under the circumstances, switching to MA when your entitlement begins. That would mean you'd be expected to attend appointments and do job hunting activities.

On your partners side, did he have fully comp insurance? He shouldn't be paying for his own repairs if someone went into the back of him (providing it wasn't his fault).

It does sound like it will be a tight few months I'd get CVs everywhere, just incase. Someone may well hire you anyway and that is the best security for you and your existing and future children at this point.

Were not pretending not to be a couple. Everyone knows we’re together.

Our finances would be fine if I wasn’t told I was being let go from my job.

Then if you're a couple he helps to support you and his unborn child, it's not good enough for him to say he can't afford to.

@AnchorDownDeepBreath thank you.

We don’t have joint finances other than childcare and costs for ds - we each pay our own bills and everyday costs.

Dp is a self employed cab driver. Someone crashed into him and drove off. No cctv. Car is written off and he couldn’t be off the road whilst waiting so had to buy another vehicle. His insurance works differently, I’m not sure if all the details.

I’m happy to work, as I said I’ve joined 3 agencies, 2 being in the nearest city so I’m hoping something comes up soon. CV is being sent off but I’m not holding up much hope of a permanent job when id have to leave in April.

@bluefolder he can’t afgord tonin his current circumstances.

if you’re trying to imply that I’m trying to cheat the system then you couldn’t be more wrong. This is why I’m asking for advice as I cant claim as a single parent when technically I’m not. We could have easily claimed ds was living with dp as dp is entitled to working tax credits (I earned too much) so childcare would have been subsidised, but we didn’t as we have morals.

Can you move in together now that circumstances have changed to avoid double mortgage/double everything?

This is really difficult. I was made redundant whilst pregnant but was unable to find more work. Because pregnant.

I was not eligible for any income support as my partner was in work - we were actually in a lot of debt and struggled massively with the loss of my income. (also, because my ex boss was a crook he refused to pay maternity pay and I had to wait til four months after the birth of my son to get awarded any money which was pretty stressful but at least you'll get the income in about 10 weeks or so).

Also I think you'll need to continue to job hunt, even if it's just going through the motions.

You say living apart works for you both, but it's not really is it? Perhaps review that decision.

OP put in a claim for JSA. You are seeking work, so it appropriate.

If they want you to claim UC instead they'll let you know.

Phone the DWP helpline.

You can claim UC regardless of how many children you have, they just pay for the first two.

I see your other is is that you regard yourself as in a Partnership.

Contribution JSA is based on your NI, so in theory you could claim it.

You do need to look at if you are a couple or not.

Either of you could become disabled, or have a disabled child.

It needs to be separate households or living under one roof.

Your arrangement only works for the wealthy.

I think you have received unfair dismissal from your job- have you received reasoning as to why you didn't pass probation? If not I'd be on the phone to ACAS.

Time for you to move in together really.
Also WTF are you doing having more children when not living together.
The benefits system isn't and shouldn't designed to support people who want a separate house from their long term partner. Fortunately as a cab driver he can quite easily work 12 hour days 7 days a week and probably longer on Friday and Saturdays so he could earn money to support you that way.

Basically you're a single parent with a boyfriend.Appriach it that way and you'll be OK.

@Ragaroo has a good point - are you sure that you failed your probation on performance grounds? Only you yourself know if you genuinely did a poor job... but you do have to be spectacularly shit to be in that situation, as pregnant women are protected under discrimination law.

“Living together as husband and wife/partners” is the test or standard they use. If you don’t, never have, and don’t intend to, youre perfectly entitled to claim as a single adult with children. (Ignore the blue rinse brigade here who wade in with their politically- motivated fantasies.)

If you want to doubly cover yourself, go to CAB or similar and get this confirmed officially, so that if there’s a mistake, CAB will be able to confirm they advised you correctly and give their rationale.

Also make him contribute CM!

First look into putting in against work for letting you go from work while pregnant - do you have any evidence at all, emails etc, to show that you were doing an okay job? Any warnings or anything?

You will be entitled to housing benefit from the council, child tax credits for your existing DC (just 2 of them if your third was born after April 2016), child benefit obvs and either JSA, possibly Income Support or possibly UC depending on area. Think both UC and JSA are done at the job centre now.

If you have 5, soon to be 6 children between you and he is in a bad financial position then it’s best you stay living apart financially, but does it work for your DC stuck in the middle between 2 homes? I suppose if he comes round and all the children have their own space it’s probably best for everyone.

People might flame you etc but my strongest advice is don’t get bogged down with moving in and becoming financially entangled with your DP. Your situation is too precarious for that and there are 6 children’s lives who rely upon you and your DP to have stable environments and financial situations. That’s a lot of children. Hope everything works out

@funnylittlefloozie I’m certain I was performing well. It’s a job I’ve done for over 20 years, although this is a smaller outfit, and I know it inside out. I’m suspicious of the reasons I was let go too, I was head hunted for this position ffs, but unfortunately I have no proof it was because of my pregnancy.

Neither of our homes are big enough to accommodate us all, mine is privately rented but DPs house is a council house which has been adapted to accommodate his youngest dc disability.

The benefits system isn't and shouldn't designed to support people who want a separate house from their long term partner

I agree. It's there to help people when they’ve fallen in a rut and need help. Like I do now.
I’ve never claimed a penny before.

your arrangement only works for the wealthy

Before I lost my job I was earning quite a lot. I’d not describe myself as wealthy but I’ve never struggled and always had money left over at the end of the month. It would still work if I could walk into a new job tomorrow but that’s looking unlikely.

I don’t have to justify or explain my reasons for wanting another child. I didn’t in a thousand years expect this situation to happen.

Please don’t listen to people telling you what “the system” is for, for God’s sake

Moving in together will make both of you destitute if you’re both struggling with employment and you will be hugely overcrowded.

To be honest objectively it’s not ideal but you know what and you’re doing what you can to get buy and support your children. Judgemental people should fuck off, it’s an advice thread. Probably not the best idea to post in AIBU though, employment issues would be better and the council, job centre or CAB can help better with your benefits questions as it depends a lot on area.

@ViragoKnows @silverdoe (lily potter?) thanks. I expected a bit of bashing because as soon as you mention the word ‘benefits’ everyone gets a stereotype in their head of who/what you are.

I don’t want to claim anything I’m not entitled to which is why I asked on here. But could really use the help and advice as I’m a bit lost as to what I’m doing.

CAB run one day a month here! Next one is after Christmas but I’ll try and get a slot.

OP I don’t think you necessarily need proof it was because of your pregnancy. What you need is any proof that it likely wasn’t because of your performance.

You’re on the money with my username OP

OP

Scroll down to this part on this link for a basic way to judge it yourself;

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cohabitation_in_the_United_Kingdom

Or, if you have time, the full rules are here;

assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/658225/dmgch11.pdf

“ If one partner has a home elsewhere where they pay bills, they aren't deemed living with the claimant” is the key part, but you pass the test on a preponderance too.

Have a look at turn2us website OP. Benefits calculator and a grant search.

www.turn2us.org.uk

Also get your partner on there make sure he's claiming everything he can esp if he has a disabled child.

Ignore any bashing and I'm sorry your boss was a discriminating arsehole.

If needs be show evidence of you and DP living apart council tax bill and utilities that kind of thing.

❤

Thank you for the link @ViragoKnows.

I work in design. I was hired on the basis that I would learn and use new program, which I told them I had no experience of. The course for this program had no availability until March (I had to book and pay myself) I could still do my projects using a different program but the company said no, and that they had to let me go because I didn’t know this program. I’ll speak to ACAS and see if there’s something I can do.

I was over the threshold for child benefit - I still claimed it but ticked to say I didn’t want to receive the money. I’ll call and see if I can change that now.

Our older dc are 17, 16, 16 and 15. The plan was to wait til they’re all at university to move in together. That’s still the plan. We both went through messy divorces and thought it was in all of our best interests to stay living as separate families.

Thank you for all the advice