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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask for advice regarding claiming benefits?

134 replies

5iveGoldRings · 14/12/2018 13:23

I’ll give the bare bones to make it shorter but happy to answer additional questions.

Been with DP 4 years.
We have 1 Ds and I’m 18 weeks pregnant.

We’ve never lived together - we live in the same street (it’s how we met) but have not blended families. This works very well for us. We both have 2 dc from previous relationships that live with us.

I started a new job just before I found out I was pregnant. Was told yesterday (a week after telling my boss) that I haven’t passed probation and they’ve let me go.

I don’t know what to do. I’m obviously pregnant by looking and am worried that I won’t find another job. I’ve enquired to join up with a few agencies but I live in quite a rural area and the only thing they can offer me at the moment is care work, which I’d be willing to do if it wasn’t for my SPD.

I’ve looked into it and I can claim maternity allowance from 29 weeks pregnant but that doesn’t help me in the meantime. I have some savings which were to supplement my wages whilst on maternity leave but it’s not nearly enough to cover all outgoings.
I can’t claim UC as I have more than 2 children.

What I’m worried about is if I put in a claim for JSA, housing benefit and tax credits would I be eligible or would they expect DP to be supporting me? His income is not enough to run two households and his ex wife has actually just stopped working so he has lost his child maintenance payments and is struggling himself at the moment, he’s using his savings to cover the shortfall in that, plus someone ran into his car and drove off, writing it off so he’s had to pay out for lots recently.

It seems to have been one thing after the other bad luck wise recently.

I’ve tried going into the job centre but they’ve said I have to do it online but there’s no option for my circumstances.

Does anyone have any advice?

OP posts:
5iveGoldRings · 14/12/2018 15:15

Also get your partner on there make sure he's claiming everything he can esp if he has a disabled child

Nightmare with this too. He was receiving DLA for her but since she’s turned 16 she has to claim for PIP herself.

OP posts:
ThisTooShallPassInTime · 14/12/2018 15:21

Use this website. It will tell you exactly what you will/can get and Is totally independent so won’t pass on any of your details.

www.entitledto.co.uk/

5iveGoldRings · 14/12/2018 15:45

I looked on the entitled to website but I don’t know if I’m supposed to input DPs info as my partner - this is where the confusion lies! Plus it all seems like it’s based on last year’s income? Is that right?

OP posts:
AnchorDownDeepBreath · 14/12/2018 15:46

In that case, you're likely going to be fine to claim as a single parent, he wouldn't count as a partner I don't think.

You would need to apply for UC if that's the benefit in your area now, so you may only be paid for your first two children, but they'll explain everything to you. The sooner you get your claim in, the earlier you'll get paid, so I'd prioritise getting an application done.

I hope things get better for you both Thanks

AnchorDownDeepBreath · 14/12/2018 15:47

Most benefits are based on last year; but I believe there somewhere to let them know that this year will be much less than last year.

I don't think your partner counts as a partner for benefits purposes, as you live apart and have separate finances. Do it from your household income.

TwoBlueFish · 14/12/2018 15:47

As you’ve been working recently you may be eligible for contributions based JSA (have to have been working and paying national insurance for the previous 12 months I think), it may be called New Style JSA if you’re in a UC area. I think you’re going to need to go into your local job centre or maybe CAB and ask them whether you should be claiming as a couple or as a single parent, my guess is they’ll say single parent as everything is so separate. If you are classed as a single parent then you would need to claim JSA/tax credits/housing benefit/council tax benefit. After 31st January you will no longer be able to apply for legacy benefits and UC will be open to all areas no matter the number of children you have.

Musereader · 14/12/2018 16:06

If your youngest is under 5 then you can claim Income support as a lone parent as the father of your children does not live with you or support you but only if you have child benefit for all 3 of your current children, i see the older ones are 15 to 17 are they all still in school college?

Graphista · 14/12/2018 16:13

"I think you have received unfair dismissal from your job- have you received reasoning as to why you didn't pass probation? If not I'd be on the phone to ACAS." That's my first thought too! Not least because you have a limited time in which to start a claim for constructive dismissal or discrimination - and before anyone leaps on the '2 years employed' thing it doesn't apply for discrimination every worker is protected from that BUT I think op you only have 3 months to put in a claim so you need to get s shift on.

Secondly - WHAT were you thinking having TWO children with a man you don't live with who isn't properly financially supporting those children?! I can understand a contraceptive failure once but this sounds like it was planned! I'm sorry but when the father of that child isn't supporting them properly AND you already knew this before ttc no 2 - your 4th child - then I think you do need to justify. And as you were on good money why wasn't any saved?

Thirdly - as ever on benefits threads I recommend you speak to your local welfare rights officer (council based) and BE HONEST with them about your set up because as pp said its not just whether you're at the same address that makes you a couple in the eyes of the govt. If you're operating FINANCIALLY as a family in anyway they will classify you as a couple and take his finances into account too. They also tend to be better funded and have much better opening hours than CAB.

Fourthly - not your fault but he's an idiot for not getting proper cab drivers insurance which he clearly hasn't. I know several and one of my friends her dad has his own firm and has for many years. Most sensible cab drivers get the right insurance which includes a loan car for them to maintain their employment until the claim is fully settled. Costs more than usual ins but as its the tool of his trade he really should have done that. And as he hasn't he should be looking for temp work until he is back on the road, or even to temp do a cab share with another driver - a common arrangement among cabbies.

“"Living together as husband and wife/partners” is the test or standard they use. If you don’t, never have, and don’t intend to, youre perfectly entitled to claim as a single adult with children." If anyone's likely to be older I'd suggest it's you. That standard for benefit assessment went a few years ago (I suspect due to couples trying to claim they were Lp when they really weren't) I'm a benefits recipient myself and don't necessarily agree with this regulation but it is how it works now.

Also I've found CAB are usually well behind in benefits info I've not found them useful in that regard. They can be useful on employment law though and know which local lawyers cover which areas of law.

"You will be entitled to housing benefit from the council, child tax credits for your existing DC (just 2 of them if your third was born after April 2016), child benefit obvs and either JSA, possibly Income Support or possibly UC depending on area. Think both UC and JSA are done at the job centre now." Wrong to mislead the op. She MAY be entitled to a variety of benefits but without knowing her full circumstances (eg age, whether she owns or rents etc) we don't know enough. Also not knowing where she lives we can't know if it's legacy benefits (there's a few areas where this is still the case not many) UC for some claimants or fully live UC. We've no way of knowing and I'd caution op against giving strangers on web too much identifying info.

"I’m certain I was performing well. It’s a job I’ve done for over 20 years, although this is a smaller outfit" that does really sound like you've been the victim of sex/pregnancy discrimination. Your past record at other employers is also taken into account I believe plus smaller employers are more likely to do this as they can't bear costs of maternity rights (but then imo if that's the case they shouldn't be in business) but you NEED to get things moving on this to make a claim - not just as a way of getting suitable compensation/addressing it but because it also is a way of showing you're not "voluntarily unemployed" ie it's not your fault you've no job to dwp.

"but unfortunately I have no proof it was because of my pregnancy." Not how it works necessarily - the onus I believe would be on them given they headhunted you especially that you didn't fulfil the role adequately.

If you look at my posting history I'm the LEAST likely person to judge people on benefits/needing benefits poorly but in this situation you've not thought through your circumstances properly - either of you!

But whats done is done so for now:

1 acas - Re pregnancy discrimination, also lawyer ASAP

2 welfare rights office - they have good opening hours generally but could well be closing for Christmas soon. Take all financial paperwork and id

3 dp needs to pay a set regular amount as maintenance - you say he pays £X to cover certain costs for DC anyway, that needs to be formalised

4 job hunt - hopefully you'll be lucky and find a permanent job in your career but maybe if not at least a temp job for now? Dp needs to do same and possibly chase ins co if they're dragging heels?

5 cut down outgoings wherever possible - if you need help with this you could post on this thread, start another or look at or even post on mse site.

Musereader · 14/12/2018 16:15

from 12/12/2018 all new claims to benefit are UC unless you have more than 2 children, which it seems you do as long as the eldest are still in full time education

PencilsInSpace · 14/12/2018 16:28

You're getting so much contradictory advice here Grin

Use Turn2Us or entitledto - both linked upthread. Don't put your partner's details in. You don't have to prove you're not a couple when you submit a benefit claim but you must provide any information that is reasonably asked for.

Tax credits go on previous year's income, however once you get your award notice you will be told how to get it adjusted so it's based on an estimate of this year's income.

How much do you have in savings? Anything over £6000 will affect the amount of means tested benefit you can get. If you have over £16,000 you would not be eligible for means tested benefits - except for child tax credits.

You won't be able to claim UC with 3 DC even if you live in a full UC area.

And YY definitely contact ACAS.

PencilsInSpace · 14/12/2018 16:33

Both CAB and local authority welfare rights officers are highly variable from place to place. What's good in one place might be shit in another.

5iveGoldRings · 14/12/2018 16:43

@Graphista a couple of things.
Dp does support all of his children. He pays half the nursery bill and gives me a set amount towards nessecary costs, and will do for this child. He’s not broke, but also not in a position to say ‘I can cover all your outgoings until you qualify for maternity allowance’

He did have proper cab drivers insurance. The car he was offered was not suitable - we live in a rural area and he has a contract with a school for pick ups/drop offs and needs an accessible vehicle to do so. Other than the weekends it’s where the majority of his pay comes from - he needed to sort this out quickly to a) not let down the children and b) not lose the contract.

Jobcentre were rubbish. Just told me to apply online. I’ve tried the entitled to calculator just using my details which said I can’t put in a claim for universal credits but to apply for income support and child tax credits.

My older two are 16 and 15 and in year 11/10 so both in full time education. Toddler is 2 in June so won’t recieve anything for him as was born after the cut off date.

Will be speaking to ACAS asap- this only happened yesterday and I’m still trying to process it mentally. Feel like I’m drowning.

Thanks for the advice. Christmas is all bought and paid for already, luckily mine and dcs phone contracts are up in January so will just cancel and get payg sims. My biggest outgoing other than essentials was actually commuting costs - petrol/parking so that’s a saving already. Need to make a list of other outgoings to see where I can cut down.
Will also wrote a list of contacts to see if I can get some freelancing work.

OP posts:
5iveGoldRings · 14/12/2018 16:45

Savings near £6000 but not more than.

OP posts:
EleanorShellstropper · 14/12/2018 16:55

I admit, OP, when first reading your post about the separate houses/finances I thought "Ok, here we go...." but I read more and I really don't understand how you could get any bashing. You and your partner are each paying for your houses (with no help) and live that way currently because you each have older children. You have a plan for the future and that's great.

It really sounds like unfair dismissal but how easy that is to prove I don't know.

Claim everything you are entitled to until you can get back on your feet and don't feel the need to justify it. That's what the system is there for...people like you!

Congratulations on baby news and good luck xx

Musereader · 14/12/2018 17:16

The two child limit only applies to UC and CTC, not to child benefit and if younhave child benefit for the 2 yr old then you are entitled to Income Support you just wont get any extra money for the 2 yr old

5iveGoldRings · 14/12/2018 17:17

@EleanorShellstropper thank you.

We had an unplanned pregnancy which ended in a very traumatic miscarriage in April so I feel very fortunate that I was able to conceive again.

OP posts:
5iveGoldRings · 14/12/2018 17:19

@musereader I claim CB for all 3 children although opted out of receiving the money (I only would have had to pay it back) will be calling them Monday to see if that can change so I receive it. Thank you.

OP posts:
Graphista · 14/12/2018 17:26

"Dp does support all of his children."

"We don’t have joint finances other than childcare and costs for ds - we each pay our own bills and everyday costs." There's more to supporting ds than childcare and seemingly direct costs - who pays for the roof over ds's head? The gas/electric he needs? Food? Clothes? Medical supplies (calpol, plasters etc)? Furniture, bedding etc? The wear and tear on your furniture etc as the result of having another DC?

"Then if you're a couple he helps to support you and his unborn child" a pp said and they're right and you responded:

"he can’t afford tonin his current circumstances."

"and will do for this child." The child you're pregnant with has need of his support NOW via you, your dp should be doing that.

"Jobcentre were rubbish. Just told me to apply online." They generally are. The training for UC is apparently very hit n miss and the workers on the front line are also pissed off. Not that this is any consolation for you.

Another option is local/local branches of debt & low income charities. They can be quite good on benefits stuff.

"Christmas is all bought and paid for already" that'll be a relief for you at least.

MaderiaCycle · 14/12/2018 17:31

I was going to chip into this but you've had so much different advice that I'm not going to except to say do one of the calculators - just for your stats - answer them honestly and claim what you can. The system is meant to help in this sort of gap / situation! Good luck OP :)

Ylvamoon · 14/12/2018 17:38

Either you are a couple with children or you are not. Being pregnant with a 2nd child indicates that you are indeed a couple. The fact that you are not living together for whatever reason is irrelevant.
Problem is, that the welfare system is not able to support every adult that wishes to live on their own. Pay out for 2 sets of homes with all the trimmings. Especially when there is a shortage in social housing.
And let's face it, everyone has a sad story why they can not work or support their children / partners....
I think you need to put your big girl pants on and make some big (life changing) decisions as it will be difficult for you to work in the next 24 months and beyond. You and your partner have a duty of care towards these children. Not the government.

5iveGoldRings · 14/12/2018 17:40

All big purchases are joint.

I earn (or did) twice as much as dp so he pays in proportion to his earnings, the same as if we were living together and had one pot, I’d be paying proportionately more.

I do appreciate that you’re intentions are good but our set up is (or was) in a way, to protect myself and my dc. I got royally fleeced by my ex husband and I never want to be in that position again. If I didn’t lose this job this set up would have carried on regardless until the older children left home.
I really do appreciate the help. Just the wrong sodding time of the year for it to happen in a village where the limited resources we have are already shutting down for Christmas.

OP posts:
5iveGoldRings · 14/12/2018 17:44

@Ylvamoon I actually put a calculation in on entitled to both as a single parent and as a couple with just DPs wages. The entitlement in both scenarios had a £5 difference.
I don’t live in social housing but dp does.

OP posts:
AnotherEmma · 14/12/2018 18:40

Sorry about losing your job Flowers

I hope you'll ignore the unpleasant people giving you a bashing on this thread. It seems very sensible for you and your partner to live separately until your older DCs move out.

I work for Citizens Advice and I disagree with this comment:
"Also I've found CAB are usually well behind in benefits info I've not found them useful in that regard. They can be useful on employment law though and know which local lawyers cover which areas of law."
Each local CAB is different, so while this is true of one (and maybe others), it won't be true of all of them, and it certainly isn't true of mine! We all have up to date training on benefits, we have benefit specialists and supervisors who are excellent and who share their knowledge with the generalist advisers. Full service UC was recently introduced in our area and we've all had training on it.

Anyway, sorry for slight derail. Here is my advice:

  • Call the Maternity Action helpline, they are the experts on maternity rights and should be able to advise on claiming unfair dismissal due to maternity discrimination - or point you in the right direction at least. If you saw me at Citizens Advice I'd give you details of local employment solicitors that offer a free initial consultation, so you could see if you could contact your local Citizens Advice to ask about that, or just look up local employment solicitors yourself and enquire.
  • You can and should start claiming Child Benefit
  • You may be able to claim a tax refund:
www.gov.uk/claim-tax-refund
  • I would need to double check the rules to confirm, but I'm pretty sure that you can claim benefits as a single person, because you and your partner live separately and have separate finances. You can and should claim the following benefits: income support, child tax credits (you will get them for 2 children), housing benefit and council tax reduction. For a benefits check you can call Citizens Advice - there is a national helpline and also webchat if you can't reach your local one - or use an online calculator like Entitledto or Turn2us. They will need to know your income for 2017-18 (so dig out your P60 if you have it) and you can also give an estimate of your income for 2018-19. As it's likely to be significantly lower than last year's income, you tax credits should be calculated on that income plus £2500 (don't ask why, it's all a bit random!) If it's not you can ask them to recalculate.
  • As you already know you will be able to claim Maternity Allowance, it's about £145/week for up to 39 weeks. At that point your income support will stop and you should call the tax credits office to update your tax credits claim. Your should also notify your council benefits office (as they pay HB&CTR).
AnotherEmma · 14/12/2018 18:45

"Employees are also protected from detriment or dismissal on the grounds of pregnancy or maternity leave (Employment Rights Act 1996 s99 and Maternity and Parental Leave etc Regulations 1999 reg. 19). This protection applies to employees only from day one of their employment."
from www.maternityaction.org.uk/advice-2/mums-dads-scenarios/pregnant/pregnancy-discrimination/

WilburforceRaven · 14/12/2018 18:50

Wow, so people who've been responsible about reproduction and haven't had a load of kids get punished by putting on UC but those who have a large brood are spared and left on legacy benefits? Hmm