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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To leave a baby?

184 replies

newmun · 13/12/2018 21:21

Theres a coop 2 min walk away from my house. Would you leave the baby at home and lock the door etc instead of taking buggy/carrier etc? Shop is literally 5 doors away.

Ps: I didnt do this as I was too chicken but wondered if anyone had?

OP posts:
KimchiLaLa · 14/12/2018 18:22

Take the baby. You never know what may happen.

BanginChoons · 14/12/2018 18:26

No, not a chance. I wouldn't bother with the buggy though, I'd just carry the baby.

I don't know how young the baby in question is, but if I was the midwife doing a visit standing on your doorstep and you appeared back from the shop without your baby, I would be raising that as a serious concern.

Mia111 · 14/12/2018 18:44

Definitely not!

brizzledrizzle · 14/12/2018 18:45

No. I'd put the baby in a sling/baby carrier.

RoboticSealpup · 14/12/2018 18:49

No fucking way. Sure, the risk is small but the stakes are as high as it gets.

sue51 · 14/12/2018 18:52

No.

Bumbledop · 14/12/2018 18:57

I was in the same position when my first baby was small. She always slept for two hours in the morning and afternoon, guaranteed. Coop was 2 minutes away. I was often tempted to go when she was asleep, but I never actually did.

You know really that you can’t, but I can understand why you would be tempted!

AlwaysChangingNamesAgain · 14/12/2018 19:05

I couldn't.

Furthest I've gone is to my NDN's quickly to borrow something, but DC was asleep in cot and the bedroom window was directly above where I was standing, so I'd have heard him iyswim. Couldn't fathom going to a shop down the road, though.

As a side note, I'm one who leaves the DC in the car to go pay for fuel, so I am normally pretty chill about stuff like this.

crispysausagerolls · 14/12/2018 19:14

I think the answer to these questions is quite personal and is always “is this something where I could live with myself in the unlikely event something happened?”

Eg - if you are hanging washing up outside, perhaps you would feel less guilt and shame than if you had gone to the shop, if baby climbed out of his cot. Very subjective.

I personally would never forgive myself if something happened to my baby because I’d gone to the shop and left them alone. If something happened because I took them with me, yes I would find that better because I had my baby with me where they belong. I had done everything I could to protect them. But that’s just me.

DBN1 · 14/12/2018 19:15

QueenEnid

2 mins walk away? No. Because i could walk a fair way in 2 mins plus then time in the shop and back again It's still only two minutes whether you're walking a long distance swiftly or a short distance slowly. Two minutes is two minutes!

I never left my son at home alone to go out but of course I'd put the washing out/bring it in, potter in the garden, chat to neighbours etc. We were ground floor and his bedroom looked out onto the garden.
I also used to leave him in his pram or the car seat if he was asleep. He was a bugger to get off and would never go back to sleep after he'd woken so getting him out of the pram/car seat undisturbed was impossible.

LittleLlamaontheduskyroad · 14/12/2018 19:44

No I never would. I found out DH left DD1 as a baby asleep in bed a couple of times to go to the chippy / shop 2 mins walk away. I was not happy. I hit the roof. If something happened to them or you in that time, you would never forgive yourself for not being there to try and save them.

nannykatherine · 14/12/2018 22:57

people do leave babies alone . i’ve heard mothers telling each other they leave the baby napping while they go in school run, in the car ..

how they can live with themselves and the anxiety i have no idea

kmc1111 · 15/12/2018 01:26

What is with all the ‘what if you get hit by a bus/car’ responses. If you took the baby and got hit by a bus/car, then that’s exponentially more likely to harm the baby than being left at home alone til family is notified. Same thing with slipping on ice with baby in a sling.

I swear human beings are the most insane risk assessors.

HestiaParthenos · 15/12/2018 01:35

In the case of a sudden medical event, being at home with the baby would make someone helping you and the baby less likely.

I swear human beings are the most insane risk assessors.

True. I still would take a small baby with me, I think. It just goes against every instinct to leave a baby alone.

Drogosnextwife · 15/12/2018 01:42

Go for it, personally I think it stupid, selfish and irrisposible. Oh and keep in mind if anyone reports you then social services will get involved.
There is a stupid thread like this every few weeks, always the same shitty reason for leaving kids alone I a house.

Strokethefurrywall · 15/12/2018 02:02
  1. How old is baby
  2. How reliable a sleeper are they?

Newborn nope, probably wouldn't.

Older baby and reliable sleeper - yep I would.

Batteriesallgone · 15/12/2018 07:12

But the risk of accident isn’t the same.

If baby is home. You are alone and likely to be taking extra risks rushing across the road because you want to be quick. If you take baby with you, you will probably take it slower and be more careful.

I guess the risk of some madman mounting the pavement and mowing you down is the same with or without baby, but in terms of running across the road without looking properly that is more likely to happen if you are without baby.

masterandmargarita · 15/12/2018 07:21

I'd imagine driving down the motorway with baby in back of car carries more risk

Batteriesallgone · 15/12/2018 07:26

Eh? Who’s leaving baby at home to nip to a shop a few doors down... and then going on the motorway? Seems an extreme method of getting there.

Batteriesallgone · 15/12/2018 07:28

And I don’t base my day to day assessments of baby safety on ‘what is the most dangerous thing I’ve evet done with them? Well they were fine, so I shall match up to that profile again just for consistency’ Hmm

masterandmargarita · 15/12/2018 07:33

Everything carries a risk but there are some things we are happy to do despite their inherent dangers, like travelling in a metal box at 80 miles an hour. I think the risk of popping to the shops for 2 mins whilst leaving a sleeping baby is a risk I'd be willing to take.

applesisapple5 · 15/12/2018 07:54

I live above a grocers but haven't gone down without the baby. Even if my partner is asleep upstairs I would take the baby. Although one of the first times I took him out I got him in the car seat downstairs (back yard, boy the street) then realised I needed an attachment to get the car seat fixed into the pram so SPRINTED up three flights of stairs and back down in about 30 seconds

fleshmarketclose · 15/12/2018 07:58

No surely you would pick up baby and carry them to the shop Confused ? Why would you need a pram/carrier? Our Coop is two minutes away but with the poor service and only one till open whist four other staff members talk about their plans even popping in for milk can take twenty minutes.

user1471426142 · 15/12/2018 08:24

I wouldn’t do it but logically it is probably no difference to doing some gardening, having a sleep yourself, handing out the washing etc. My baby was a very reliable sleeper and there were often times I thought to myself it would be possible to go out for a pub lunch and she’d have been fine. Would never have done it though!

Like another poster has said, the probability of something major happening is low but the impact is potentially devastating. Putting it that way, I’d argue that most people’s view of risk on this is appropriate. Your children are the most precious thing you have and it is human instinct to avoid doing things that could result in babies being harmed.

Pernickity1 · 15/12/2018 10:25

I live above a grocers but haven't gone down without the baby.

That’s a tad neurotic! It would be the same as leaving a child upstairs sleeping and going down to make a cup of tea?! You could even bring your monitor?