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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To leave a baby?

184 replies

newmun · 13/12/2018 21:21

Theres a coop 2 min walk away from my house. Would you leave the baby at home and lock the door etc instead of taking buggy/carrier etc? Shop is literally 5 doors away.

Ps: I didnt do this as I was too chicken but wondered if anyone had?

OP posts:
CanSurvive · 13/12/2018 22:59

Fuck no.
But good for you that you still think it’s ok, and just chickened out / didn’t have the guts too. Sounds like you still think it’s acceptable.

Butteredghost · 13/12/2018 23:01

Surely the most significant risk is that baby wakes, cries, no one responds, their cry escalates to the point of vomiting and they aspirate the vomit.

Thats completely ridiculous. Consider that the official advice if your baby has colic, ie, extreme levels of crying, is that it's OK to put them down in the cot and leave them for a few minutes while you regain sanity in another room. And thats when they are already screaming out of control!

turnipsaretheonlyveg · 13/12/2018 23:06

No.
Mostly because social care would hand your arse to you on plate if anything happens.

ravenmum · 13/12/2018 23:07

Isn't the issue that if you both get run over by a car mounting the pavement, you haven't exposed yourself to accusations of neglect, and a lifetime of unbearable regret and shame, as you would if you left the baby alone and something went wrong?

Re going to the end of the garden ... when my daughter was a baby I left her in her cot and went down the end of the garden for a cup of tea. When I went back in half an hour later I discovered her asleep in a huge pool of vomit. I must not have heard her crying. The idea that she could have choked on it did cross my mind.

WorraLiberty · 13/12/2018 23:09

I can't make up my mind if I would or not to be honest.

But all the "What if you get run over" posts are making me think because there's probably more chance of falling downstairs and knocking yourself out than getting run over while nipping out 5 doors away.

Bobbiepin · 13/12/2018 23:09

There is nothing at the shop that is more important than your baby's life.

thighofrelief · 13/12/2018 23:13

I did fall downstairs, knock myself out and break my arm and that was indoors. Never been run over or kidnapped. Don't most accidents happen in the home. A lot of people are saying that they are frightened of being judged or prosecuted etc - if you could separate in your mind that from the genuine risk to the baby....there is very little. They could have a fit while you are asleep or in the shower.

WorraLiberty · 13/12/2018 23:14

Why is a baby likely to die if its mum nips to the shop 5 doors away Bobbiepin?

I mean is there more chance of that happening than the baby dying while upstairs in a cot and the OP is downstairs?

Bigonesmallone3 · 13/12/2018 23:20

Jheez, this thread could scare the shit out of a new mother!

Saracen · 13/12/2018 23:20

Yes, I would and did. The shop was no farther than the bottom of my garden, and I used to go out to hang the washing, so I figured the risk was about the same.

I didn't dawdle though. (Nor would I dawdle when hanging the washing.) I didn't want to be gone long enough for a fire to take hold, or for the baby to wake and be distressed and cry hard for many minutes. A cheery wave to any passing neighbours rather than a chat, and just a quick grab of one or two items in the shop rather than moseying round considering whether I might want to buy something on offer.

caringcarer · 13/12/2018 23:22

Don't leave your baby alone. Put baby in pram and push it with you. What is wrong with you to even consider leaving a helpless defenseless baby alone?

Pernickity1 · 13/12/2018 23:22

I’m not sure if I’d do it unless it was for something really important. I can’t think what that would be though...

Most likely nothing bad would happen and it would all be fine and you’d save the faff of waking the baby, putting them in buggy etc. but if something by unfortunate chance did go wrong then you’d never forgive yourself!

taratill · 13/12/2018 23:22

good grief this thread is ridiculous. A baby is not going to die if you leave the home for 5 minutes with doors locked.

I never did it because there were not shops I could pop to . But really, do you all peer over your babies 24/7?

They are no more likely to die of swallowing vomit when you pop to the shops than when you leave them in the room , which I assume you do, to nap in the day.

Wonder how we all survived in the 60's/ 70's etc without monitiors. The world has gone mad!

taratill · 13/12/2018 23:24

Saracen thank god for common sense!

WorraLiberty · 13/12/2018 23:25

taratill, my thoughts exactly.

I can understand people saying they wouldn't do it and that's their choice obviously.

But some of the reasons given here are bonkers.

busybarbara · 13/12/2018 23:27

when you leave them in the room , which I assume you do, to nap in the day.

That's because you can HEAR any problems if you're in the house! Though I must admit I have no idea what deaf parents do...

moofolk · 13/12/2018 23:28

I wouldn't, but I did once accidentally go out and leave a baby in the house. I didn't go far, just to a neighbour's where my DP and other kids were. I thought he was there with them....

olivertwistwantsmore · 13/12/2018 23:28

Batteries all gone: but babies are left all night alone! They usually manage! (Not at all intending to mimimise the experience of anyone whose baby has had a health problem)

taratill · 13/12/2018 23:31

busybarbara if you are vacuuming or listing to the radio or watching tv you can't hear your baby breathing.

I didn't go to the shops when my chidren were baby's but I did like going to the bottom of the garden (out of earshot) to read a book to get a bit of a break. Is that neglect too?

StoppinBy · 13/12/2018 23:31

When my son was first born I would try to time his naps so that he was asleep when I had to pick up my daughter from kinder.... we are lucky, the kinder is right in front of our house. So I would make sure he was asleep, run across the road, sign my daughter out and then go back home right away. It probably took me 5 minutes to do all up and it used to worry me that he would wake up but I didn't want him as a newborn around all those germy kids if I could help it.

I also once had to run to the shop and get onions while my daughter was asleep, I rang my husband to tell him I was going and rang him to tell him I was back so I had a plan if something went wrong - she was an awesome sleeper so I had no concerns she would wake up while I was gone. I left our dog in the house (separated from the bedrooms by a bay gate and a closed door).

I know onions seems trivial but I desperately needed them to make pickles that I had promised to make, I stupidly forgot to go buy onions while she was up and it was the only time I was going to have that day to get them done.

thighofrelief · 13/12/2018 23:31

Deaf parents have noise activated lights. I sleep like the dead, and won't hear a baby until it's going nuts. Then DH had to wake me to BF.

WorraLiberty · 13/12/2018 23:32

That's because you can HEAR any problems if you're in the house!

You can't hear a child silently choking

No are you likely to hear much at night when you're sound asleep

Bouchie · 13/12/2018 23:33

of course. if only 5 mins and baby safely strapped/ contained.
I used to work as a risk assessor so is fairly simple!

MulderitsmeX · 13/12/2018 23:33

Oooh i feel awful reading these but I've done similar. Dh was travelling and i needed to get to my block of flat's bins (door won't fit pushchair through / need to hurl the bag so couldn't do with a sling) i did it 3 times but probably won't do again.

SylviaAndSydney · 13/12/2018 23:33

Honestly? Yeah I probably would if it was something I really needed.