To resent xmas expectations

[JoyofSticks]

How are the less well off of us supposed to magic the extra money from? It pisses me off and always has done, this requirement that we spend extra money at xmas, why do we do it? Apparently it's cruel to not buy kids a pile of shite. I've always found it difficult and now there are grandkids, partner's kids, when's it going to end? I'm happy to buy a gift but it all adds up and then there's worrying about if the gifts are good enough, very bloody stressful. It's not possible to stop participating, it's commercial bullshit disguised as religion, neither of which interest me but here I am, worrying about how to afford coal and dog food because of having to buy presents. It's been pissing me off for years. Anyone else feel the same or are you organised, wealthy and have loving families?

If you can't afford it then don't do it and tell everyone your plan. No one is forcing you to buy into it.

Failing that, set a budget for each person that you can afford and buy throughout the year. Charity shops and eBay are a goldmine. I bought four books in the charity shop last week for £2. Three were brand new, two were cookery books, one was a fiction book and the fourth was a cookery book I had been on the lookout for.

Some inspiration for you....
meanqueen-lifeaftermoney.blogspot.com/

I don't buy piles of shite. Christmas is the same time every year so it shouldn't come as a surprise. Putting a few pounds a side every week throughout the year would cover it. It's lovely to give gifts and have a big celebration with family, religion plays no part here, it's a midwinter festival.

We've agreed with family just x amount each.. not because we can't afford any more but because it's always the same every year, asking what people want etc. We now focus on having the day together and spend the money on nice food and drink instead and just a token present or two in the afternoon. It's so easy to get caught up in it all and go mad but since we've started doing this we are all much less stressed. Is there a way you could agree something as a family?

We don't spend much at Christmas. DH and I buy for each other and our parents. We don't buy for his siblings or their children either - just because none of us are especially close.

Christmas dinner is a chicken with the trimmings, plus a dessert. We'll eat the leftovers on Boxing Day but otherwise we don't buy anything else really. Maybe a couple of boxes of mince pies, cheese or some celebrations if they're on offer.

No need to spend a fortune if you don't want to. My parents' certainly never did and they could have afforded to.

"neither of which interest me but here I am, worrying about how to afford coal and dog food because of having to buy presents"

Coal? Where do you live? The Four Yorkshiremen sketch? The 2nd movement of Dvorak's 9th (New World) symphony?

What you want to say is (like me) that you loathe Christmas, bah humbug to it, and you loathe shelling out in accordance with social expectation. Tell everyone that; why not, I do. The concomitant is you can't expect anyone else to shell out on gifts for you; why not, I don't.

You really really don’t have to participate if you don’t want or can’t adford to. I only spend money on gifts for close family and buy gifts they really want. Sometimes that’s one thing. Sometimes it’s a few. I absolutely do not buy tat or for the sake of it. There’s nothing wrong with that. If someone doesn’t want anything then I bake for them instead which is very cost effective and always goes down well. I don’t prepare a Christmas meal and I don’t decorate. I don’t go to Christmas parties or wear Christmas jumpers. The only other thing I buy each year is a ticket for my husband and I to see the Christmas play at our local theatre on Christmas Eve. I don’t even buy things like mince pies or Christmas snacks as it’s just not necessary and my waistline wouldn’t thank me! You can do a minimal Christmas and it can still be lovely. Don’t succumb to pressure of the holiday season.

We are pretty well off but I only buy gifts for my kids, DH and our parents. It's just a waste in my opinion. We can all spend time together and have a nice xmas without giving each other piles of stuff that usually we never use. We said this to people years ago when we had less money and everyone was happy to not buy for each other. I've never done cards and again noone cares. I don't spend loads either - maybe 6 gifts per child that they really want. I'm not religious but I do enjoy xmas and spending time with my family - gifts don't feature highly for me. I don't ask for anything although my parents always give me some money which is appreciated as I can buy a new winter coat or boots with it each year. MIL always buys me tat - I ask her not to but she loves to give gifts. It usually ends up at the charity shop tbh.