To say something about religious nativity play?

[JohnnyMcGrathSaysFuckOff]

The DC go to a private day nursery. It doesn't have a religious affiliation. It was their Christmas play today. They did a loose version of the nativity and then at the end, there was a bit of recitation - "and that baby Jesus grew up to do amazing miracles. He died to save all the people in the world. Christians believe he came back from the dead and everyone who finds Jesus will be happy."

Dd who is under 4 is now asking "what does it mean, Jesus died?" And "should we go and look for Jesus?"

Aibu to mention to nursery management that this has resulted in some awkward conversations and maybe next year, they could choose something non-religious, bearing in mind lots of the families that use the nursery aren't believing Christians?

Christmas, Christ Mass
There is nothing lovelier than a young kids nativity. I wouldn’t thank you for a production of ‘The Unhappy Donkey ‘ yes, seen it, it was shite.
If all Christmas means to you is presents , eating yourself silly and getting pissed........fine
Enjoy yourself
But please don’t knock those that want to celebrate Christmas with just a touch of Christianity

Your child will be starting school soon and coming home with all sorts of questions about the top five religions. Get used to it now and answer the questions as best you can.

It's worth bearing in mind that 'our culture' draws on a mixture of Christian, Norse, Greek and Roman mythologies. 'Christmas' is simply the current name for the midwinter festival. I can see your point, OP, particularly if a nursery with a diverse intake only pushes Christian mythology rather than doing a bit of everything - but you will find, when your DC are a bit older, that there is no such thing as a secular school within the state system by law. All schools are obliged to peddle specifically Christian crap to a greater or lesser extent, though the good schools minimize it as much as they can and teach the kids that there are lots of different belief systems and festivals.

Mind you, the moment that still boggles me was: coming out of DS' reception year Christmas show, which was 'Whoopsadaisy Angel' - a nice if vacuous Christmas play which includes the nativity story in a cute, kid-friendly way. A parent started ranting as we walked to the gates about how 'schools can't do proper nativity plays any more, political correctness gorn mad'. I think I actually said, after staring blankly at her, 'But we just watched one.' NO idea what her problem was.

I am not knocking anyone Benidorm. I also don't spend Christmas "eating myself silly and getting pissed" - thanks for the grim picture though.

I just thought it was odd for a secular nursery in 2018 to decide that the children needed to know about Jesus's death and revival. It is not really part of the nativity story as far as I can see.

Anyhow, as I said about five pages ago, I won't say anything. It's a very good nursery and all my children are very happy there, so you know, shrug....

YABU.

Talk to your kid about death. Or tell her what you believe instead!
These aren't awkward questions. I wonder why they make you so uncomfortable? Are you unsure of your own beliefs in these areas? It's okay not to have all the answers. You can say "I don't know the answer to that" if you actually don't know. Most kids will accept this. If she won't, try finding out together. It's a fantastic learning opportunity!

Is your nursery very multi-cultural? You could suggest to the staff that they explore some other faith festivals. This might help balance out the view points being shared.
If it really offends you, just tell her that it's just a fairy story. She'll make her own mind up about faith as an adult anyway.

The resurrection is a huge part of Christmas

Anyhow, I always find the objection to atheists celebrating Christmas really weird. Loads of holidays are bastardised versions of ancient traditions with all kinds of garbled symbolism involved.

I actually love Christmas. We don't really do FC but we tell the dc it is a special holiday to relax and spend time with our family. I tell them that we give each other presents because a present means "I love you" and so we give or make something for everyone who is special to us to show them we care. We also try to do kind things like donating to the food bank and to some charities. We have a nice family meal.

I really don't see what is wrong with that and given the nos of real committed church-going Christians in the UK today, I imagine more people spend Xmas like we do than at church or in serious religious mode.

Benidorm are you saying most nativity plays for children aged 2-4 in the UK involve discussion of Jesus's death? I mean okay if you say so, but it is just DH was equally surprised and he was raised a Christian.

You have to remember OP for all you think it was inappropriate, if they hadn't done it there'd be a parent complaining it wasn't true to the Xmas story. Schools just can't win!

Gunpowder it isn't a school and since they don't normally do a nativity, I doubt it.

Anyhow, it's fine, I genuinely thought the UK was more secular than that but live and learn!

Johnny I’m not knocking you at all here and I agree that it’s all about love. A classic nativity story for me is the story of Jesus’s birth.
Sorry if I got arsey and offensive

The resurrection is a huge part of Christmas

say what now?

christ lived and we celebrate his life at Christmas and easter .
I love being a christian and i find it sad that you dont share the christmas story with your child. God bless you

Christmas is a CHRISTIAN celebration therefore the true meaning of Christmas is about the birth of jesus christ. If you don't believe in it don't indulge in its practices. You can't selectively opt in or out of festivies that have a Religious route. Society and mainstream media will have us thinking Christmas is rooted in the John Lewis adverts, its not.

Do you lie to your kids that Santa exists? Double standards much OP.

Tell her you'll get back to her near the 3rd week of April about the whole Jesus dying bit and for the mean time just give her the bare bones of the nativity. You get children's bibles. You don't need to be religious just outline the basics. I am not religious (one parent being a Christian one firecely opposed) but it meant when reading A Level English there were many things that I had to ask that everyone else had already been taught years ago as a child covered in Sunday school etc. It's just useful for her to know doesn't mean she'll have to bang a drum up the High Street.

It's the Nativity 🙄 what did you expect?

My son's nursery did something very similar and we've be discussing Jesus , his birth/death for weeks. We aren't religious but we've been happy to answer any questions our 4 year old has.

Christmas is a CHRISTIAN celebration therefore the true meaning of Christmas is about the birth of jesus christ. If you don't believe in it don't indulge in its practices. You can't selectively opt in or out of festivies that have a Religious route. Society and mainstream media will have us thinking Christmas is rooted in the John Lewis adverts, its not.

Don't indulge in its practices! The OP isn't trying to go to a cathedral service without a religious element. She was hoping that her child's performance at nursery school wouldn't actually include proslytising for christians. Are you really saying non Christians in the UK should stay out of schools and nurseries?

And if you truly believe what you said, then I suggest you start campaigning to keep ersatz nativities and stuff out of state schools. Because all it is doing at the moment is reinforcing the idea in the UK that christianity is some sort of cultural heritage like fairy stories and nursery rhymes. Not a living, vibrant faith. So children who don't have any religious belief or maybe have a completely different religious belief are prattling along to "jesus and mary in the manger" as if it is another cute story from the glorious past.

pallisers referring to the whole story

Thanks Benidorm, big of you

Lalliella no as I said we don't really do FC, so no double standards afaics

Delboy your first line is actual genius

Hi Malwoddy, yes as I explained earlier it was a typo for "religious nursery play". I wonder if that coloured the responses.....

I think it did, if the question had been phrased 'I chose to send my child to a secular nursery that has previously only performed secular plays at Christmas time but this year decided to do the Nativity. AIBU to have a quiet word because I'd rather a secular institution didn't perform religious plays' you'd have got more of a range of opinions.

I'm getting tired of the 'but do you give Christmas presents?' stuff in here. Don't we normally have a mini army of mumsnetters pointing out that a lot of the best bits of Christmas actually have origins that predate Christianity?

Also:

The resurrection is a huge part of Christmas

pallisers referring to the whole story

well yes but then by that logic healing the lepers and the last supper are a big part of christmas too. I am a practicing christian who reared my children as christians (thankfully in a system which allowed for a completely secular schooling) and I have never heard of the ressurection being talked about at Christmas time in a children's nativity play (and especially not for 4 year olds - at that age it was all the little drummer boy and angels in our church).

I’d like to thank Malwoddy and pallisers for displaying true Christian understanding and compassion

The finding Jesus bit is very complex for a nursery aged child to understand.

My children have not attended religious schools but have been in 4 nativities each. (Nursery, Reception,y1,y2) It's a story that all kids educated in the UK should be aware of imo. (Unless there's religious reasons like being a JW) I'm an atheist but find little kids performing the nativity to be extremely Christmassy and adorable especially if it includes a rendition of Silent Night or Away in a Manger.

Are you a veggie family? Finding out where meat comes from was when we first discussed death. It also features in stories like 3 Little Pigs, Billy Goats Gruff, Hansel and Gretel etc

I would tell your dd that the play is a story from a book called the bible. People who are Christians believe the stories in the bible and celebrate the birth of baby Jesus at Christmas time. When we get old and our bodies stop working we die. Jesus was alive a very long time ago (no cars!) so he died when he got old.

Around Easter you'll have to explain the Easter Story. When my kids heard it they assumed that Jesus was a zombie