To say something about religious nativity play?

[JohnnyMcGrathSaysFuckOff]

The DC go to a private day nursery. It doesn't have a religious affiliation. It was their Christmas play today. They did a loose version of the nativity and then at the end, there was a bit of recitation - "and that baby Jesus grew up to do amazing miracles. He died to save all the people in the world. Christians believe he came back from the dead and everyone who finds Jesus will be happy."

Dd who is under 4 is now asking "what does it mean, Jesus died?" And "should we go and look for Jesus?"

Aibu to mention to nursery management that this has resulted in some awkward conversations and maybe next year, they could choose something non-religious, bearing in mind lots of the families that use the nursery aren't believing Christians?

YABVU and a bit weird. You need to check yourself or you will end up being "that parent"

If you have difficulty explaining death to your child then buy them a hamster for Christmas.

Christmas itself commemorates the birth of Jesus. YABVU to make it seem non religious just because you're (presumably) raising your child an atheist.

Are you also going to stop her from learning about religion in lessons at school?

If she is asking questions about religion/Jesus, answer them. Tell her the story about Jesus, ask her if she wants you to buy a couple of books about it so she could learn some more.

I am an atheist, so this isn't coming from a religious person either.

A religious nativity play? What fresh hell is this?
They did that with Easter at my DCs school: made it all religious, when in fact it's about bunnies and chocolate. Awful.

My dd experienced something like this at nursery school. It was non-religious but in a church hall. There would be talks by the curate, who told them all about Jesus coming back to life at Easter. My dd - who was 4 - promptly came home and asked me if this meant that my grandmother would be returning.

I simply explained that this wasn't something that we believed - and moved on. It really didn't bother me (and neither did the nativity play and the same nursery) because all it required was a simple explanation.

JohnnyMcGrathSaysFuckOff I get you. Some people on this thread have been fucking idiots.

I'm a hopeful agnostic from a Catholic background, but in my heart of hearts, I know there is no God and I won't see my loved ones again. They are gone and writing that is making tears prick my eyes and giving me a painful feeling in my throat even now. But it's true. I will follow them to oblivion but my comfort is that I know I loved them and they loved me.

An education in major religions is essential because it makes you understand that we are all the same - we all hope, whether we have a god or gods or none. Combining that with an education about how people have fought religious wars and continue to do so is also essential.

But that depth of knowledge is not essential when you are four. I don't have total recall but I'm pretty sure I didn't realise that death was final when I was four. Especially since I grew up believing that we all lived an afterlife in Heaven.

I wouldn't have been annoyed at a nativity play at my child's nursery so long as there were other things celebrating other faiths. But I would have been totally fucked off at the introduction of the idea that Jesus died for us. That's not part of the Christmas story in Christianity and anyone who says it is doesn't know what they are talking about.

The birth of Christ is full of hope and joy with a foreshadowing of doom by the gift of myrrh. But I wouldn't dwell on that for a child.

The Easter story is the one that introduces concepts of suffering, sacrifice, death and redemption. That is the most important event in the Christian calendar and is very difficult to grasp, even for an adult.

People who know fuck-all about Christianity don't realise the importance of the events so you can ignore them. Other people want to bash Christianity. It's not rational unless you are going to bash all religions and their complexities.

I used to hate Easter, especially Good Friday. But now I really enjoy it even though I don't believe that we will rise again. But that's because I've thought about it and find some element of hope in it.

Anyway, Merry Christmas OP

I've read all the responses. Just to follow up a few points

Vicky I think you are missing my point. DD will likely go to a CofE school when the time comes. It's not great but that is our only realistic choice. But this nursery isn't religious. It is a private, secular institution. There is a big difference imo.

I am really really not "that parent". Believe me. I have worked in education for 12 years, and a parent who has a single critical thought about the nursery and merely considers whether to raise it on the QT?

That is not being that parent. Trust me.

Thanks limited. Yeah I am a bit baffled by the idea that I obviously should have introduced comparative religious studies by the age of 3! Oh well.

I think you made a mistake by referring to it as a 'religious nativity play', rather than just calling it the nativity and contrasting it with secular plays from previous years.

If it's a non-religious school and has previously only performed secular plays, I don't think you're unreasonable in being disappointed that they did the nativity.

Hi Malwoddy, yes as I explained earlier it was a typo for "religious nursery play". I wonder if that coloured the responses.....

If you are so anti Christianity then there is no way you should send your child to a Cof E primary school.

Your saying that as you pay for nursery you should have what you want but you will accept something that goes against your belief system to get a better education. I bet there are other primary schools in your area.

OP you can tell her that Christians believe that when Jesus grew up he died, but he was so special that he came alive again and after a little while he went to heaven. It Really doesn’t have to be too difficult...

OP objects to a ‘religious’ nativity play. Then says she plans to send her DD to a religious school

Do you give your child Christmas presents OP?

Would you prefer a Punch and Judy show?

Lollllllll!!!!

Why dont you give them a list of what would be appropriate non religious ways to depict the nativity;

'Jesus and the Chocolate factory'
'Three wise Minions'

You get the drift

🙄 I hald the talk about death way before 4 - when reading a child’s book about ancient egypt with mummies, chambers in pyramids etc

• when explaining why there aren’t dinosaurs anymore
• when another child lost a grand parent and told DS

Leave the nativity alone please.

A non religious Christmas Nativity play? I've heard everything now. I work in a school where most children don't celebrate Christmas, however they still perform a version of the nativity every year. It is right that children are taught from an early age about different religions and beliefs. Your child can grow to make up her mind about what, if anything she believes. The nursery told the story of the nativity and of Jesus but didn't tell the story as though it was fact.
I find it hard to believe that the questions your daughter was asking would be too awkward or difficult to answer.

So you're complaining about a religious nursery/nativity play yet are probably going to send your child to a CofE school? That should be fun

It has never been a nativity before as it is not a religious institution, unlike a CofE primary, say.
Our primary school isn’t a CofE school, it has no religious affiliation. When one of my friends was looking st schools, they asked how religious the school was and were told it wasn’t a religious school. Yet we have a an Easter service in church each year, the vicar does assembly probably once every half term/term and occasionally pops in for other special events. Easter and Mother’s Day (both Christian) are also covered in depth.
adversecamber22 never mind not sending her child to a CofE school, op might need to be wary of any school if she doesn’t want religion in there.

Out of the 5 primaries in our town, 2 are C of E, 1 is catholic and the other 2 have the vicar in (see above). Not many options apart from home education really (which is what the majority of jehovas witnesses in the town do (the one in my dds class has been taken on holiday again for the duration of December as they don’t want her learning about Christmas/nativity).

Of course YABVVVVU, and would be met with disbelief by any staff member you approached, but, thanks for giving us all an entertaining read this evening.

Is it appropriate for you to tell your dc that it’s all just made up? Surely they should decide that for themselves. I’m a Christian. I’m raising my children as Christians. However, they will learn about other religions and I am always very clear about what I believe but that they are free to decide for themselves. Surely an atheist should also let their child have the option to choose what they believe. I don’t think anybody should be told that it’s just made up.

Surely an atheist should also let their child have the option to choose what they believe. I don’t think anybody should be told that it’s just made up

But you aren’t really giving your children a choice either by telling them what to believe as Christians. On balance, I don’t think anyone should be told faith stories are real either.

When one of my friends was looking st schools, they asked how religious the school was and were told it wasn’t a religious school. Yet we have a an Easter service in church each year, the vicar does assembly probably once every half term/term and occasionally pops in for other special events. Easter and Mother’s Day (both Christian) are also covered in depth.

So your friends were given an incorrect answer. it is a religious school. I think the lesson for the OP in this thread is that there is no such thing as a completely non-Christian school or nursery in the UK. They all expect children to participate in religious activities but people are ok with this because they consider them just madey-up things akin to red riding hood or shrek (which is hardly giving the child a true understanding of UK's religious heritage and history and is pretty patronising to those of us who are actually practicing christians)

Death is a natural part of life and children shouldn't be shielded from it, because if they are, it becomes bigger than it should be. I'm not saying we should rub their noses in it, but healthy, natural conversations about the life cycle from an early age will help it not to be such a trauma.

For example, I've always been very honest with my children about what their food (meat) is, when they ask. So I would say "That's pork, DD1, which is pig. A farmer looked after the pig very well until it was big enough to eat, then he sent the pig to the slaughter house to be killed, and they sent it to the butcher, who cut it up so that we could eat it for dinner. By doing this, it meant that the children understood and had no big surprises when someone said "that's a cute pig you eat, you know!!" My sister almost went vegetarian when she found out that bacon came from the cute little piggies.

Crikey you'd have hated the nativity at my DD's catholic school, they spoke about how Jospeh took Mary to Bethlehem to save her from abject disgrace.

Christmas is about Christianity. Utterly bonkers that people want to celebrate it but ignore the exact reason why it's come about.