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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

...To not want to play taxi Christmas night just because I'm pregnant?

94 replies

OhMyGodIKnowHim · 12/12/2018 15:47

I will be 37 weeks pregnant Christmas Day. We are having Christmas dinner at my parents house with extended family - there will be 20 guests in total. Very much looking forward to it.
Anyway - my elderly grandparents are coming (Nan has Alzheimer's if that's relevant) Anyway, spoke to my Mum and said ill happily take them both home later as my Nan will probably want to leave around 10pm and ill be able to take them home and get them settled and help my Grandad get her ready for bed etc. No issues whatsoever.

Then my Dad says - well i'll tell X and Y auntie you can take them home too. Now, I'm not saying I wont give them a lift (they are in opposite directions and wouldn't all fit in one journey so this would be another 2 journeys probably early hours of the morning as we play games and stay up late Christmas night) I'm just saying I'll see how I feel on the night. We are staying at my parents overnight so I can go to bed earlier if I want without disturbing DH's fun and drinking.

Should I just expect to be shuttling everyone around Christmas night at different times in different directions because I can't have a drink?

OP posts:

AnotherPidgey · 12/12/2018 18:44

I had ceased to fit behind the steering wheel by 37 weeks. Being in the car was pretty uncomfortable. Speed humps were evil!

Fair enough to take your grandparents home at a reasonable time if that suits you. Being volunteered to taxi all night is not.

2 weeks can make a significant difference to your stamina at this stage.

blackteasplease · 12/12/2018 18:45

Pregnant does not equal everyone's taxi!

QueenArseClangers · 12/12/2018 18:52

If you end up taking your grandparents home then I do hope your DM/DF (whoever is their child) comes with you to help.

blackteasplease · 12/12/2018 18:53

That's a good idea queen they should!

Popc0rn · 12/12/2018 19:27

At 37 weeks I'd be expecting my DH to stay sober enough to drive us to the hospital if needed. I wouldn't be happy to play taxi either, you're being very kind to take your grandparents home, is someone else going to come to help you/be with you just in case?!

Jeeperscreepers69 · 12/12/2018 19:47

Should you be driving at 37 weeks?

Jeeperscreepers69 · 12/12/2018 19:50

Tell your dad to jog on? Really.... I'd get a slap round the ear if I told anyone to jog on never mind my parents.

Kittykat93 · 12/12/2018 19:56

How rude of your dad to suggest this. Tell him you're happy to take grandparents but everyone else will have to find their own way back as they usually do every year.

Original poster

OhMyGodIKnowHim · 12/12/2018 20:36

Wow very unanimous response!
Never thought about not being able to drive at all at that point! -
If I do happen to actually go into labour Christmas Day I have a friend (also pregnant but 18 weeks) who lives very near my parents and kindly offered to drive us to the hospital if necessary. My husband would not drink if I asked but he's had a pretty rough couple of weeks with his own family and I just want him to relax and have an alternative.

Honestly also didn't think about someone coming with me re grandparents- I'm sure my mum would anyway. My Nan tends to be ok if one of us is there- not so much alone with me Grandad as when she gets agitated he can't humour her if that makes sense. Anyway I digress...

I told my dad all of this and he was really annoyed- but I will reiterate I meant it and that it's an absolute no.

Thanks everyone- hope everyone has a lovely Christmas

OP posts:

BunsOfAnarchy · 12/12/2018 20:41

At 37 weeks my DH, my DM and my DF all banned me from driving. It was great. I was being ferried everywhere. Aaah...those were the days...lol

Get a cab! Dont be a taxi service. Youll be aching by the time you get home!

Danglingmod · 12/12/2018 20:42

Do the other relatives not drive or are they big drinkers? I think it's a bit pathetic if one of them can't stay sober to drive home!

JudasPrudy · 12/12/2018 20:44

Depends how long it would take really. 5 mins in the other direction then fine. Half an hour, I wouldn't fancy it. But you need to let them know soon so they can get organised not just leave it until the day.

delboysskinandblister · 12/12/2018 20:47

You're dad was really annoyed

A580Hojas · 12/12/2018 20:48

Of course pregnant women can drive at 37 weeks fgs.

However, your dad has been very silly to suggest you can taxi other people around. Or has he actually done that yet? Why can't you just say "Dad, I'm taking nan and grandad home and then I'm driving back to yours. I can't ferry anyone else around, obviously"

anniehm · 12/12/2018 20:50

I suspect you will be quite tired so just say no to your dad (he probably just wasn't thinking) - helping your grandparents is different

tablelegs · 12/12/2018 20:54

"No, I'm heading straight home after I drop grandparents off"

Maelstrop · 12/12/2018 20:55

Is your dad usually so totally lacking in empathy? I think he's absolutely batshit to expect you to do this. And yes, you'd surety be safest having someone else with you at 37 weeks. He's really annoyed? Well, tough shit, you're not a fucking taxi driver. Your aunt and uncle need to book an actual taxi.

Original poster

OhMyGodIKnowHim · 12/12/2018 21:20

It would be say 10 mins one direction from parents for one aunt, and then say 25/30 mins in the other for second trip.
2 in the first trip and 4 in the second so I couldn't even do it all at once I'd have to take one set come back and take the other.
He says he would do it if it were him, but it isn't, and it never will be, because he wouldn't not drink at Christmas so it's easy to say knowing he'd never be in the situation.

I'm uncomfortable now driving anywhere as it is (baby is breech and has it's head all comfy in my ribs!)

OP posts:

Chloe84 · 12/12/2018 21:30

If he gave that much of a shit he wouldn't drink that night. Twat.

TheCraicDealer · 12/12/2018 21:34

This is exactly the kind of shit my dad plays- the amount of rows we've had over the years because of lifts/them drinking is unreal.

Tell him, "Dad, you're asking me to give up over an hour of my Xmas evening to give people lifts at nine months pregnant. I don't mind doing it for nan and grandad as a one-off, but the other lot are well able to order taxis like they do every other year. Please stop putting other peoples' convenience over my comfort."

JudasPrudy · 12/12/2018 21:36

@OhMyGodIKnowHim in that case say yes absolutely then next week, maybe Monday, say oh I'm soooo sorry the midwife has told me I am not allowed to drive anymore

MrsStrowman · 12/12/2018 21:41

I just had DS on day one of week 37, waters went completely unexpectedly and without warning or even Braxton Hicks. No one should be relying on a heavily pregnant woman to drive them around, it's nice of you to offer for GPs but even they should have a plan B. I was still meant to be working the following week, driving myself around, that didn't happen...

Bringbackbertha · 12/12/2018 22:04

At 37 weeks I was huge, could barely drive with massive swollen feet and ankles. Wanted to go to bed by 8!

The stopped drinking when I got to 36 weeks as he didn't want to be in and shape for my labour so he could support me and not have a hangover (lucky cause i was In labour for several days and went back and forth to hospital 3 times)

Is this your first op? I wouldn't like you driving anywhere in case anything happened while you were doing the drop off.

Also agree as a maximum you help your nan and grandad out due to health but I wouldn't do aunts and uncles if they are capable and able to take a taxi

Jeeperscreepers69 · 12/12/2018 22:12

Of course they can but if like me u have little legs then your feet wouldn't reach pedals. Thus 37 weeks no driving.

Jeeperscreepers69 · 12/12/2018 22:16

#angryBird 😂

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