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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

...To not want to play taxi Christmas night just because I'm pregnant?

94 replies

OhMyGodIKnowHim · 12/12/2018 15:47

I will be 37 weeks pregnant Christmas Day. We are having Christmas dinner at my parents house with extended family - there will be 20 guests in total. Very much looking forward to it.
Anyway - my elderly grandparents are coming (Nan has Alzheimer's if that's relevant) Anyway, spoke to my Mum and said ill happily take them both home later as my Nan will probably want to leave around 10pm and ill be able to take them home and get them settled and help my Grandad get her ready for bed etc. No issues whatsoever.

Then my Dad says - well i'll tell X and Y auntie you can take them home too. Now, I'm not saying I wont give them a lift (they are in opposite directions and wouldn't all fit in one journey so this would be another 2 journeys probably early hours of the morning as we play games and stay up late Christmas night) I'm just saying I'll see how I feel on the night. We are staying at my parents overnight so I can go to bed earlier if I want without disturbing DH's fun and drinking.

Should I just expect to be shuttling everyone around Christmas night at different times in different directions because I can't have a drink?

OP posts:

chardonm · 12/12/2018 15:49

What is their alternative if you don't give them a lift?

ElektraLOL · 12/12/2018 15:49

YANBU. It's your Christmas too and your petrol! They can get a taxi like most people.

Cherries101 · 12/12/2018 15:51

At 37 weeks I personally think you shouldn’t be ferrying anyone around. But that’s just my personal opinion.

Homethroughthepuddles · 12/12/2018 15:51

I think the aunt and uncle should get a taxi, unless they're very elderly and infirm or something. But if they're capable of staying until the early hours that's probably not the case.

Original poster

OhMyGodIKnowHim · 12/12/2018 15:52

@chardonm They normally get taxi's as there's never usually a non drinker. Xmas evening is usually hosted by my parents just not always Xmas dinner.

OP posts:

Lovingbenidorm · 12/12/2018 15:52

I think it’s lovely of you to take your NaN and Grandad home and help get your Nan settled but I think it’s a bit much to expect you to take other relatives home in another journey in the opposite direction !
You will probably be feeling tired (I was knackered at 37 weeks🥴) and you’ll either want to go to bed or enjoy Christmas games etc.
Be firm
Congratulations btw!

Shoxfordian · 12/12/2018 15:52

Yanbu just say you're not going to so they can make other plans

TurquoiseWeekend · 12/12/2018 15:53

I'll be 31 weeks on Christmas Day and how I'm feeling at the moment, there's no way I'd even be able to stay up late enough to take the other people home in the early hours. I think I'd be going home the same time as Nan and Granddad! Could that be an option? For you to say that actually you were planning to go home and get to bed yourself after taking them home, so won't be dropping the others off?

Auntiepatricia · 12/12/2018 15:53

No. It’s unacceptable. They’ll need to pre-book taxis. I was 37 weeks last Christmas and brought my slightly drunk DH to his family home for a quick drink with them in the evening (we were hosting my family) and brought my uncle and cousins 20mins away to where they were staying around 11pm. I had bad sciatica and after a day of even trying to stay off my feet, could barely walk. I was in very bad shape (4th baby in 5 years so this pregnancy was extra tough compared to previous). But no one expected me to and would have taken a taxi. At that particular moment I was just about willing but it was physically too much. I shouldn’t have.

Do your grandparents but tell them you absolutely cannot commit to a drive in the early hours. You’ll likely be sore (the day is a lot of work no matter how much you try to take it easy) and quite possibly asleep for obvious reasons.

PumpkinKitty82 · 12/12/2018 15:54

Hell no. That’s sounds so unfair.
You’re very fair along now and you shouldn’t be taxiing anyone around let alone two drop offs that late.
I’d say no .. cabs still run on Christmas Day!

flowery · 12/12/2018 15:56

”I'm just saying I'll see how I feel on the night.”

Trouble is you won’t be able to do that because then if you don’t feel up to it, they won’t be able to get a cab. So you’re best to say no now so they can make other plans and you don’t feel press ganged when there are no cabs and everyone is over the limit.

AnneLovesGilbert · 12/12/2018 16:13

No way. They need to book a taxi like they would if you weren't pregnant and not drinking. And say no now so they don't try and guilt you on the night!

BewareOfDragons · 12/12/2018 16:14

I would tell your Dad no, you won't be driving people around all hours of the night. You'll be 37 weeks and exhausted. They can do what they would have done if you weren't available, because you're not.

Original poster

OhMyGodIKnowHim · 12/12/2018 16:17

I think I'm more annoyed as it's not like they've even asked - It's my Dad who has just assumed I would love to and I should do it.

Have never previously booked taxi's always just ordered when ready, I think as they don't mind waiting around for available taxi's for over an hour as they're just drinking anyway.

And then was second guessing myself as he looked at me as if he couldn't possibly believe I wouldn't want to do this.

OP posts:

StormTreader · 12/12/2018 16:19

"Sorry, they live in the opposite direction from where we're going".

dustarr73 · 12/12/2018 16:21

I think you need to get cabs for your nan and grandad as well.What if you already have the baby by then.

Get your dad to do it,since he likes volunteering other peoples time.Ho bout he gives up his.

nellieellie · 12/12/2018 16:21

No, it’s your Christmas. You need time to relax. They can get a taxi. Just say you won’t feel up to it.

ShalomJackie · 12/12/2018 16:22

I had ds2 at 37 weeks exactly

randomsabreuse · 12/12/2018 16:24

At 37 weeks I'd want another possible driver... just in case

Snowwontbelong · 12/12/2018 16:26

At 37 weeks I had had an emcs a fortnight earlier!!

delboysskinandblister · 12/12/2018 16:26

Just say

'Dad - don't take the piss. It's Christmas for me aswell plus a very pregnant Christmas. Unless you're name's Mary you do not know how it feels to travel long journeys when heavily pregnant at Christmas. Don't volunteer me for the things you are not prepared to do yourself. Look forward to seeing you on the 25th and don't forget the Gold Frankincense and Mryhh'

Merry Christmas {fwink}

Ilikeknitting · 12/12/2018 16:26

I’d say “I’m taking Nan and grandad home, I’ll wish you all a goodnight now”
One journey, then you go home. You are not the free, unofficial taxi for every cf.
make sure your dad knows you do not I tend to be the taxi service and definitely make sure you stick to your guns!

delboysskinandblister · 12/12/2018 16:27

Eilaianne · 12/12/2018 16:31

I like delboysskinandblister's response. Use it.

Not ok to volunteer people. Definitely not ok to have you running around at such a late logistically troublesome favour so close to due date - you'll need to rest, it's your Christmas too, and for all you know, the baby may come early!

What is he even thinking?!

BrendasUmbrella · 12/12/2018 16:33

You need back-up plans anyway. You could be on the labour ward and not available to drive anyone anywhere!

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