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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

People who sit on the aisle side on the bus / train

199 replies

CruCru · 12/12/2018 11:17

There seems to be an epidemic of people choosing to sit on the aisle side of the bus or train, leaving the window seat free. Is it just me or is this quite a weird thing to do?

They probably think that people are less likely to sit next to them but once the bus / train fills up (the ones I get always have people standing), all the seats fill up so people have to squeeze past them to get on and off.

OP posts:
53rdWay · 12/12/2018 14:47

You could always proactively offer the empty window seat beside you to people standing, if it gets to the point that some people are standing and still nobody’s asked.

CosySnuggles · 12/12/2018 15:07

For me, it rather depends on how busy it is- if there are more seats than people then by all means sit where you please! It is easy enough to let someone into the window seat etc...

But, when it gets so busy that there are people standing down the full length of the isle, picking and choosing seats becomes totally impractical - there just isn't enough room! And to be honest the isle seats become extremely cramped too due to people standing with bags etc...

In these circumstances it is uncomfortable for everyone involved and while trying to be accommodating to everyone, a little compromise is required.

Original poster
CruCru · 12/12/2018 15:10

Hello

I've just come back to the thread - had more responses than I'd expected!

Yes, I think it is just the scenario that CosySnuggles has just described - a completely packed bus where people sit on the aisle seat and then other people have to squeeze past them onto the window seat.

OP posts:
TheChristmasYouGetYouDeserve · 12/12/2018 15:12

Grew up in... let's say, a rough area of the north-west. Standard advice if you were travelling alone was to take the aisle seat. If you sat in the window seat, it was quite likely someone would sit next to you, trap you in and mug you.

BarbedBloom · 12/12/2018 15:14

I am 6ft 2 and there isn’t enough leg room for me in window seats, plus I have knee problems so can’t have anything digging in. I get off first stop on way to work and back and I find that I end up really disrupting someone who has got out laptop/food/coffee. I never have my bag on the seat and always offer to stand up so people can sit in by the window if I see someone looking. When I explain I am getting off next stop most people seem to prefer me to sit on the outside anyway

Hannnnnnnxo · 12/12/2018 15:20

Various reasons. Stretch your legs out more, especially if you’re wearing a skirt/dress and need to cross your legs. Stop people sitting next to you, especially creepy men, I hate when there are loads of free seats available including full tables and someone sits next to me and starts flirting. There are plenty of unhygienic and anti social people on public transport, forgive me for not wanting to sit next to them.

I do this, but I won’t on busy trains of course. Also if I was sitting on the aisle seat, I’d scoot into the window seat rather than force someone to step over me. There isn’t enough space to do that on trains lol - I don’t get buses.

Satsumaeater · 12/12/2018 15:22

I do not wish to sit at the window. You do not wish to ask to sit at the window. Not my problem

This.

I've never had anyone refuse to let me sit down next to them although I did once have an older bloke who refused to let me have the window seat even though I was getting out 10 mins later and he wasn't, so I just continued to stand.

I have however had people who've refused to move their suitcases off seats to let me sit. They managed it at the next station so they weren't disabled, before anyone says it. I should have just stood my ground, but I found another seat (backwards facing, which I don't like, but I was able to move to a forward facing seat at the next station) so decided not to push the issue.

Satsumaeater · 12/12/2018 15:23

aisle seat not window seat. Doh.

WillowPeach · 12/12/2018 15:35

@capri

Why is it bullshit? I was sexually assaulted on a packed bus. I had the window seat, he had the aisle seat and I was trapped. I always sit on the aisle seat now.

ErickBroch · 12/12/2018 15:36

Commute daily by train, I take an aisle seat when I can as I have long legs. I always move for anyone getting on and stand up/step out so they can get in.

I agree though, it is very annoying when people do it and make no effort to remotely move or let someone past when it's busy and they clearly need a seat! Rude

SumitosIsMyWall · 12/12/2018 16:04

Now people that are obsessed with standing in front of the train doors and won't move down the aisles meaning trains depart mostly empty and platforms still full is a whole new story...

We don't share a train line or you'd have heard me bellow on more than one occasion that I will block the doors from closing until people move down the train. Oddly enough the prospect of a bolshy loud woman preventing the train from moving is enough to make people shuffle and mutter that I'm crazy. However I appreciate this wouldn't work on more modern services that have no train manager checking the platform before closing the doors.

I'm not missing connections because people are selfish...blocking access to the train is far worse than taking up an aisle seat!

Ozgirl75 · 12/12/2018 16:12

It’s public transport and frankly I will sit wherever I choose. I always go for aisle too because I don’t like being hemmed in by someone twice my size.

But I don’t actually need a reason - it’s just my preference.

itsallgravybaby · 12/12/2018 16:20

I prefer an aisle seat because I'm fat 🤷🏻‍♀️ so its much more comfortable than squeezing into a window seat and feeling squished between the window and another person. I will happily move if someone asks to get into the window seat!

clockworklime · 12/12/2018 16:27

I sit in the aisle seat because I prefer it. If you want to sit in the seat next to me, speak up and I will move for you.

SilverySurfer · 12/12/2018 17:00

I do it for two reasons 1) I'm disabled and it's difficult to bend one of my legs 2) if I was in a window seat, someone blocking my exit by sitting in the aisle seat makes me feel claustrophobic. I never put my bag on the seat and if someone wants to sit in the window seat it takes seconds to swivel round to let them in.

Bottom line is that it's no-one else's business really is it?

You should always fill up from the back/inside

Where did you learn such nonsense?

Monkeynuts18 · 12/12/2018 19:13

Far far worse are the bags-on-seats people. They sit either in the window seat or the aisle seat (it doesn’t matter, offenders will do either) and dump all their bags on the other one. They then feign obliviousness as the train fills up.

The thing is though, it is a selfish little trick that’s quite effective. I’m on the train home right now. I did the ‘right’ thing - sat in a window seat, bag on lap - and the seat next to me has been taken. Which is absolutely fine - the person next to me has all the right in the world to sit down, and that’s why I sat like this after all. But the woman across the aisle from me sat in the window seat, spread all her bags over the aisle seat, pulled down the tray on the aisle seat to put her food on, and started eating. Unsurprisingly, no one has asked her to move her bags and food and she’s spread out luxuriously over the two seats, having a more comfortable journey than me.

Can’t bring myself to be that person though!

itsallgravybaby · 12/12/2018 19:45

Also because of this arghhhhh! There's no escape from manspreading in the window seat

malmi · 12/12/2018 20:05

I hunt out 'bags on seats' and prioritise them for 'is this seat free?'. If everyone did this there would be fewer bags on seats.

Hannnnnnnxo · 12/12/2018 20:10

@malmi awww that’s cuteHmm

If there were loads of free seats available but some weirdo wanted to sit next to me purposely, I would just leave my bag between us and cross my legs in their direction. It won’t stop anything frankly

Monkeynuts18 · 12/12/2018 20:16

@Hannnnnnnxo - I’m pretty sure @malmi means people who do it when there AREN’T loads of free seats available.

IsThereRoomAtTheInn · 12/12/2018 20:26

I do that malmi, If I have to ask for access to a seat.

PunkrockerGirl59 · 12/12/2018 20:29

I always need (and book) an aisle seat on the train. I can't be hemmed in, it makes my officially diagnosed anxiety unmanageable. Travelling alone is a real ordeal for me so I need to know that I won't be hemmed in.
However, I never put my bags on the window seat and will happily stand up to let people in and out.
I'll even move out of my booked seat to accommodate cheeky fucker families who haven't been arsed to book but think it's their God given right to sit together. As long as I can still have an aisle seat it's fine

53rdWay · 12/12/2018 20:38

I do that. If the train’s filling up and I have a choice between the empty aisle seat next to someone in window seat and the empty window seat with bag/coat on it next to someone in aisle seat, I’ll choose the bag one. Bonus is that I might get the window seat rather than them budging up too.

wombatron · 12/12/2018 22:55

@SumitosIsMyWall when I get to the first (and main /only connection before Liverpool st) if I've pushed my way on, I stand in the way and don't move like fuck am I getting back off to let you all out when half my platform comrades were left behind because you want to run 3 steps not 10 to the central line and wouldn't shift into an empty carriage. I love TFL Rail!

HunterHearstHelmsley · 13/12/2018 12:27

I was asked to move my bag off a seat last week. There were a few, but not many, seats left. Only problem? It wasn't my bag. Total stranger next to me who had gone to the toilet. By the time she remonstrated with me all the seats had filled up and bag lady was back.

She spent the rest of the journey giving me evils HmmGrin