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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

People who sit on the aisle side on the bus / train

199 replies

CruCru · 12/12/2018 11:17

There seems to be an epidemic of people choosing to sit on the aisle side of the bus or train, leaving the window seat free. Is it just me or is this quite a weird thing to do?

They probably think that people are less likely to sit next to them but once the bus / train fills up (the ones I get always have people standing), all the seats fill up so people have to squeeze past them to get on and off.

OP posts:
VietnameseCrispyFish · 12/12/2018 12:32

They don’t want people sitting next to them unless the bus starts to fill and there’s no choice.

I don’t blame them at all as long as they move over if someone wants to sit next to them, I’ve had some right weirdos come and sit next to me while I’m at the window seat of an almost empty bus, always men, always trying to start an unwanted conversation. I’m at the point now where i will sit at the aisle seat until someone asks for the seat then I’ll shuffle across to the window seat.

Henevieve · 12/12/2018 12:33

I always sit in the aisle seat because my knees get very painful if I can’t stretch them out.

If the train becomes busy then no one has ever had a problem asking for the seat next to me. I stand up, they sit down, I sit down, and all is well with the world.

BertieBotts · 12/12/2018 12:33

I don't mind in the winter, but in the summer I sit in the aisle seat so I'm not directly next to a window with baking hot sun coming in making me feel like I'm in a greenhouse.

bakingdemon · 12/12/2018 12:34

Really bloody annoying. I'm currently 8+ months pregnant and people keep refusing to move up to the edge - despite the fact that I can't clamber over them with massive bump!

dippledorus · 12/12/2018 12:34

How do you know who is “infirm” Louise? When you look at them with your superpower eyes that can tell just by looking? The govt would pay ten fortunes to you. You should hire yourself out.

Caprisunorange · 12/12/2018 12:35

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CandyCreeper · 12/12/2018 12:35

Its funny because my son was sat with his brother on the seat, My son was in the aisle seat and brother by the window. my daughter was sat next to a lady and when the seat behind my sons was empty she moved over to sit behind them so she could talk to them. At that point my son by the window moved and went behind to sit with my daughter. My other ds remained in his seat. A woman got on passed 3 seats and then demanded my ds moved! I honestly didnt get it as she passed other seats, so people obviously try to target people who they feel are blocking the other seats despite there being other seats. I thought it was very odd.

katekat383 · 12/12/2018 12:36

It is not about selfishness, rather it is about preference.

dippledorus · 12/12/2018 12:36

Because according to people here unless you are “infirm” (hideous term) then you’re judged and shouldn’t be there.

I just want to know how these posters know when they get on a train or bus who is disabled and who isn’t. Unless you make us wear a label?

MakeAHouseAHome · 12/12/2018 12:36

YABU. I will ALWAYS sit in the aisle seat even if the window is free and I din't care if anyone doesn't like it... my reasons are;

  1. I am usually leaping of a train to catch connections and don't want to be stuck behind someone getting up slowly.
  2. I want the leg room/general extra room.
  3. I don't want to be hemmed in.

As for whoever said, 'make the budge up', erm, no I was here first. I will move so you can take the window seat but I won't be moving into the window seat and letting you have the aisle...

MondayImInLove · 12/12/2018 12:36

I do it all the time. Not at all to discourage anyone from seating in the window seat though. My reasons are:

  1. I am petite and when I am in the window seat the passenger in the aisle seat very often encroaches on my seat

  2. When I need to get out from a window seat, quite often the passenger in the aisle won’t stand or even pivot their legs to make some space. I am not comfortable with this.

ChasedByBees · 12/12/2018 12:37

I like the aisle seat better. If someone wants to sit in the window seat, absolutely fine. Just ask, and I’ll stand to let them in. It’s not a drama.

IsThereRoomAtTheInn · 12/12/2018 12:37

The unmoveable bags on seats has proliferated in the last 30 years. I would maybe put shopping bags down on a seat until the bus or train started filling up. Then the unwritten rule of public transport kicked in and you shift them! Now I find I have to ask. Very tiresome.

SaskiaRembrandtWasFramed · 12/12/2018 12:38

DryIce fair enough. But I still think it's bad bus etiquette to block an empty seat.

Caprisunorange · 12/12/2018 12:39

“Because according to people here unless you are “infirm” (hideous term) then you’re judged and shouldn’t be there.

I just want to know how these posters know when they get on a train or bus who is disabled and who isn’t. Unless you make us wear a label?”

Who cares? They’re only judging you, not kicking you out Of the seat. People are judging all the time.

MardyArabella · 12/12/2018 12:40

Oh give it a rest capri. You’re being very goady.

OutPinked · 12/12/2018 12:41

I think it stems from a really horrible experience on a bus as a young teen. It was around 8pm on a Saturday and I was travelling home alone on the bus after being out with friends. The bus was pretty much empty bar me and maybe two others when a complete pisshead got on and decided to sit beside me. He stunk to high heavens, was leering over me and kept trying to drunkenly converse with me, it scared me shitless. Ever since then I’ve taken the aisle seat and only move over if someone needs the seat (so if there’s absolutely nowhere else to sit).

Caprisunorange · 12/12/2018 12:41

Eh? What a load of crap. It’s not goady in the slightest

dippledorus · 12/12/2018 12:42

I will stand up and let people in to the window. I tend to not judge because who knows what anyone has going on in their levies. And I hate being judged. I suffer with crippling anxiety amd overthink so now I will struggle not to add that into my overthinking head.

Why would anyone judge for that? I don’t understand why you would judge.

Trinity66 · 12/12/2018 12:42

I'd rather sit on the aisle seat, more space, easy to get in and out of if I need to use the bathroom etc. Especially on planes

NonaGrey · 12/12/2018 12:43

having to ask someone top move so you can get to a free seat is a faff I could do without.

It’s a 10 second conversation. And perhaps a 20 second manoeuvre.

Really, really not that big a deal.

LouiseCollins28 · 12/12/2018 12:43

@istheroomatthein. Exactly! On a v. quiet bus/train knock yourselves out but once they get full it's really inconsiderate.

Just means people have to stand in the aisles and vestibules in my experience. Which isn't fun at all.

PadawanCat · 12/12/2018 12:43

I have a (largely) hidden disability and need to sit on an aisle seat. I do not care if people judge or not.

LaDaronne · 12/12/2018 12:44

FFS. I can't believe people have reached the level of martyrdom where sitting on a free seat is somehow selfish.

Time40 · 12/12/2018 12:44

It is not about selfishness, rather it is about preference

Exactly.