Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

People who sit on the aisle side on the bus / train

199 replies

CruCru · 12/12/2018 11:17

There seems to be an epidemic of people choosing to sit on the aisle side of the bus or train, leaving the window seat free. Is it just me or is this quite a weird thing to do?

They probably think that people are less likely to sit next to them but once the bus / train fills up (the ones I get always have people standing), all the seats fill up so people have to squeeze past them to get on and off.

OP posts:
JennieP77 · 12/12/2018 13:18

This literally doesn't even cross my mind. I just say excuse me, please can I squeeze in and they either stand up for me to access the window seat or they move up, I don't care which.

Svalberg · 12/12/2018 13:19

I have long legs and an unstable knee which makes standing on the bus unsafe for me (and anyone else that I land on when I fall!) I've never chosen to sit on the aisle seat rather than the window one but I've had to climb over people who have in order to sit down - and climb over them again when I want to get off.

More irritating though are those who chose to congregate round the exit door on a single decker leaving the aisle behind it empty with everyone else standing having to squash together in the first half of the bus. The number of buses with space that have sailed past me because the driver thinks it's full is extraordinary.

wombatron · 12/12/2018 13:20

I prefer sitting in the aisle seat. No reason I do it, just prefer it. I don't think it's rude nor do I think it's annoying. Some people want the window, some people want the aisle, those that get there first get to choose. If you have a blue badge or ask me to move due to a disability of course I'll shimmy over. If it's just because you find it annoying that someone is sitting where you'd like to sit and then it's a bit tough luck really. And for those that think it's annoying to have to pass someone for a seat, you can always stand if it's too much effort.

Now people that are obsessed with standing in front of the train doors and won't move down the aisles meaning trains depart mostly empty and platforms still full is a whole new story....

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 12/12/2018 13:30

If the bus/train is busy, I just say, 'Could you move up, please?' There's the occasional eye roll, but I don't give a rat's arse about that. If they want to get up to let me sit by the window, that's fine too.

Ditto people who sit by the window, plonk their bag on the aisle seat, and then pretend to be too engrossed in their phones to notice people having to stand.

What amazes me is how few people say, 'Could you move your bag, please?' I do, and except for the odd eye roll again, I've never actually been abused.

JuditthIscariot · 12/12/2018 13:32

One of my train journeys there’s over half an hour between two of the stops. I have balance and leg issues. And a foot issue. But apparently I’m expected to stand?

Noone's talking about you being expected to stand though are they dippledorus?

Erm... 12.03 Oh and if you on your own, are only going one stop, and aren't disabled, infirm or elderly, stand for christsakes.

ChipsAndKetchup · 12/12/2018 13:33

I sit in the aisle because none of the seats are reserved and my reasons for doing so are irrelevant to you or anyone else. I can find you some real problems if you'd like me to.

Caprisunorange · 12/12/2018 13:33

That clearly says “unless you’re disabled infirm or elderly” Juditth

JacquesHammer · 12/12/2018 13:35

I’ve had the audacity to pre-book an aisle seat for my journeys tomorrow and Friday Grin

53rdWay · 12/12/2018 13:36

I did once have someone refuse to move her bag because “there isn’t room for it”, but mostly people doing that are counting on you not asking in the first place. (She did sheepishly move the bag onto her lap in the end.)

Boxerbinky · 12/12/2018 13:37

I totally get that some people have reasons medical of otherwise for wanting an aisle seat. I have no problem with a person picking this seat for whatever preference. I do however have issues with those selfish twots commuters that think that sitting in that seat entitles them to the whole row to themselves and luggage when there are racks above of at the end of an aisle. Your bag didn't pay for a seat mate. My ass did so move it, I am not phased by the dirty looks or tyts while I force myself into that seat Grin

IsThereRoomAtTheInn · 12/12/2018 13:39

I have been on InterCities where there have been announcements asking people to remove bags from seats.

Xuli · 12/12/2018 13:40

The one that drives me mad is when hundreds of people get on an empty train, say first stop big London station during rush hour, and people still just sit in the aisle seat.

So they ram themselves on first, sit in an aisle seat, and then look surprised/annoyed when someone asks them 3 seconds later to let them past to the window seat. And by standing up again, they block everyone behind them.

You've got 50-60 people all trying to get into a carriage at the same time, all everyone sitting in an aisle seat does it make it so much harder to get everyone on. Bonkers. I can't imagine every single one of the people who do this have an actual reason (physical, claustrophobia etc) for needing the aisle seat.

PrimalLass · 12/12/2018 13:40

I'm claustrophobic and it is bad enough being on a train at all.

Bahhhhhumbug · 12/12/2018 13:48

Interesting those of you saying some people suffer with lack of social confidence to ask an aisle sitter to move for them to get to the window seat. I'm the opposite as stated in my previous post that l hate being in a situation where l have to ask the aisle sitter to let me out and l almost instantly need to pee if lm in that situation. So that's why l always sit in the aisle seat or book one where possible.

Biancadelriosback · 12/12/2018 13:54

Thing is, sitting on the aisle seat creates the impression that you don't want anyone to sit next to you. Whether you mean it to or not. And if you're looking at your phone/reading, that implies you don't want people to talk to you. If the person who wants to use the seat feel uncomfortable approaching you (MH condition or otherwise), you are taking a seat away from them without meaning to.
Tbf, I have no issue approaching people and asking them to move. I have, one more than a few occasions, had people role their eyes and expect me to climb over them/just leave but I always make a point of explaining that I won't climb over them and can I please sit down. I did once sit on someone's shopping when she budged up but left her bag straddling the two seats and my fat arse couldn't cope with half a seat.

Sizeofalentil · 12/12/2018 14:00

I sit on the aisle seat otherwise more often than not you’ll get a man (it has always been men, in my experience. Not being sexist) sitting next to you and trying to take up a seat and a half. I get quite bad back pain so sitting like this really hurts.

If I sit in the aisle I can perch on the seat and we all get more room.

NonaGrey · 12/12/2018 14:10

If the person who wants to use the seat feel uncomfortable approaching you (MH condition or otherwise), you are taking a seat away from them without meaning to.

Whose rights are paramount then Bianca?

The right of person who doesn’t choose to sit in the window seat because they:
Fear sexual assault/harassment
Or are disabled
Or suffer from claustrophobia
Or suffer from travel sickness
Or need to get to the loo quickly

Or the rights of a person who can’t cope with asking them to move?

Societal interactions generally require conversation, it’s pretty difficult to get round that.

53rdWay · 12/12/2018 14:20

Or the rights of a person who can’t cope with asking them to move?

Couldn’t this itself be due to bad social anxiety and/or bad past experiences with unpleasant passengers, and therefore on the same level as the claustrophobia/fear of assault of the person who needs the aisle seat? In which case, nobody’s rights outweigh the others and whoever gets to the seats first wins.

(I would be interested to know what proportion of people sitting in the aisle seats actually are doing so because they have claustrophobia/anxiety/heath problems, rather than just preferring a double seat of their own. Suspect it’s about the same % as people who are sitting in the priority seats, look fine to the casual obsrerver, but genuinely do have an invisible disability - not 0% but nowhere near 100%.)

Xenia · 12/12/2018 14:21

I have always preferr the aisle despite having short legs. I often have a lot of bags, huge brief case etc so putting that on tubs by the side of me works well but no chance of that by the window. Also on planes I like to get up for the loo quite a bit or to stretch my legs and like not to have to ask anyone to move in order to do that and sometimes I like the stretch my legs out into the aisle. I always make space to let people pass by me.

LouiseCollins28 · 12/12/2018 14:21

@NonaGrey. why is this about someone's "rights?" Surely more to do with people's needs. People who are disabled should take priority over everyone else because there need is greater, the same is true if somebody is elderly.

For the rest, I get that people might prefer one seat over the other and if there is plenty of space, no problem. If there isn't plenty of space, i.e. on a crowded train carriage, then IMO those folks with greater need should keep their places (or get them if they don't have them already) and the rest of us should make things as easy as possible for everyone.

starfishmummy · 12/12/2018 14:26

I prefer the aisle seat as I don't like being hemmed in. However I am more than happy to let someone come and sit next to me providing they take the window seat.

But I rarely catch a bus and when I do its off peak and not busy

LaDaronne · 12/12/2018 14:27

Best way to get over a lack of social confidence anyway is just to grit your teeth, talk to people, and realise that 99.9% of the time it's fine.

lostinjapan · 12/12/2018 14:31

I do this to deter people from sitting next to me Blush

But to be fair I do move to the window seat when the train starts to fill up. I would never wait until someone has to ask me for the seat or squeeze past me. I think it’s rude to just sit there and not budge when there’s barely any seats left.

BiddyPop · 12/12/2018 14:34

Someone who had been at the window seat may have got off since the aisle seat person sat down.

They may not want to sit by the window.

They may hope
For extra room.
All sorts of reasons.

As long as they allow you access to that window seat, meh, they can sit where they like!

NonaGrey · 12/12/2018 14:38

You are right Louise needs is a better word.

The problem is that often you can’t assess other people’s needs by looking at them.

I agree it’s about striking a balance and making things easy for the majority but how do you assess what that is?

Sitting where makes things easiest for me and politely moving if someone with greater need comes along seems a sensible course of action to me. But that leaves those who can’t cope with asking me to move out in the cold.