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AIBU?

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Original poster

As Mum how would you feel about request from step mum?

106 replies

OhComeOnRon · 09/12/2018 12:36

Currently due with my 2nd, my husbands 3rd. Wanted to get him a photo gift for Xmas with scan pics of the 3 of them on and was going to text stepsons wife to see if she had his to send me and didn't really think much of it until a friend said

'Isn't that a bit weird? Won't she be annoyed by it?'

And now I'm not sure. No issues in relationship we all get on, we have stepson every weekend and I just thought it'd be weirder to get him something with only 2 of his kids on?

OP posts:
Lynne45 · 09/12/2018 13:54

Ask for a baby pic instead.
I wouldn’t be giving my scan photos away to anyone, sorry!

WishUponAStar88 · 09/12/2018 13:55

How about a triple photo frame still but scan photo of the current pregnancy then photos of the older children ... change to a newborn picture when born?

WorraLiberty · 09/12/2018 13:55

I thought the picture you linked is the sort of thing people do to remember a still born child?

Yes! That's 100% what I thought too.

Sorry OP, you know him better than anyone. Do you honestly think he'd like something like that?

moredoll · 09/12/2018 14:01

Agree it's too invasive to ask for her scan picture.
What about a drawing of you and your DC?

ciderhouserules · 09/12/2018 14:04

I think it's horrible, sorry OP.

The scan pix look like skeletons, not like a 'baby' at all. Horrid.

diddl · 09/12/2018 14:04

"I'm struggling with what to get the man who doesn't want anything!"

Nothing?

Something comsumable?

JacquesHammer · 09/12/2018 14:07

The scan pix look like skeletons, not like a 'baby' at all. Horrid

They are skeletons Grin

DD’s looks like Skeletor. She loves it.

ohreallyohreallyoh · 09/12/2018 14:09

If his mum is annoyed then it's tough really. It's not really about her

Yes, of course she should be forced to hand over her medical records (at best) or (at worst)her own intimate memories. Fuck her, eh?!

OP - I think your desire to,include the child that is n‘t yours is absolutely the right sentiment. However, scan pictures are really not the way to go,

MarilynSlumroe · 09/12/2018 14:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ThatssomebadhatHarry · 09/12/2018 14:13

Sorry it’s weird. This is a picture of his ex’s insides! I think you risk souring an ok relationship.

ExcitedForChristmas18 · 09/12/2018 14:21

If you want something sentimental have a look at the company Hold Upon Heart.. leather mens bracelets. You can have them personalised with the childrens handprint's..
You can just add to it next christmas the third childs handprint. So that's next christmas sorted aswell!

Dahlietta · 09/12/2018 14:21

You could just get a random one of the internet - scan photos all look the same anyway Grin

Rosehips · 09/12/2018 14:23

'Ex-wife, I'm thinking of getting DH these for Christmas, would you like me to include DSS?'

EdWinchester · 09/12/2018 14:27

really, who would want scan pics on display?

lazymare · 09/12/2018 14:28

I think it is weird - sorry. Regardless of the ex partner.

My DP would not appreciate this as a gift at all.

lazymare · 09/12/2018 14:29

It will have her name on it etc. Just no.

lazymare · 09/12/2018 14:31

Oops just saw the pic. Still no. It's not a gift for a man, really.

SummerStrong · 09/12/2018 14:33

As much as my DH adores his kids, I just don't think he'd enjoy this as a gift, I think he'd be a bit bewildered by the idea.

AdaColeman · 09/12/2018 14:36

I think it would be a very strange thing for you to ask for, and I wouldn't you my scan photo.

ghostsandghoulies · 09/12/2018 14:36

It's lovely you asked. Says you think that all 3 children are equally important to their Dad. (I'm assuming that you're not going to charge her 1/3 though)

topcat2014 · 09/12/2018 14:40

Scan pictures are beyond weird - certainly no need to display them once the actual child arrives.

Scan picture from someone else - no-way. That feels quite invasive to me.

Frozenteatowel · 09/12/2018 14:40

I agree, it’s too invasive a request. It’s something that is between her and your DH and shouldn’t be displayed in your home imo. A picture of all the children together once your baby is born would be more appropriate and much nicer to look at. It’s not about how good your relationship with DSSs DM is, it crosses a boundary I think.

JudasPrudy · 09/12/2018 14:42

Men don't care about scan pictures so I would just forget the idea.

sadeyedladyofthelowlandsea · 09/12/2018 14:46

OP, your heart is in the right place, and if my DC's stepmum was as thoughtful as you, I'd be quite touched that you'd included my child/children. BUT DEAR GOD NO.

You obviously think long & hard about giving something meaningful, would this be an idea? www.reboundbooks.co.uk/ I've given people all sorts of notebooks over the years made from books we either both love, or that would be a private joke between us. It's personal, useful, and a little bit different. Perhaps even once your DC to be is born, you could create a photo album/notebook of all of the DC?

MiamiLogic · 09/12/2018 14:50

I think it’s a bit weird to use the scan pictures sorry. Maybe a photo bauble of all of the kids as they are now (including the one scan) and then it could be a tradition to get him one every year and see them growing up.

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