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AIBU?

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Original poster

As Mum how would you feel about request from step mum?

106 replies

OhComeOnRon · 09/12/2018 12:36

Currently due with my 2nd, my husbands 3rd. Wanted to get him a photo gift for Xmas with scan pics of the 3 of them on and was going to text stepsons wife to see if she had his to send me and didn't really think much of it until a friend said

'Isn't that a bit weird? Won't she be annoyed by it?'

And now I'm not sure. No issues in relationship we all get on, we have stepson every weekend and I just thought it'd be weirder to get him something with only 2 of his kids on?

OP posts:
Sallygoroundthemoon · 09/12/2018 12:48

Do you mean text the stepson's mum not wife? Otherwise, why not just ask him? I personally think displaying scan pictures is wierd; it's inside a body and a bit 'look at me, I'm pregnant' as well as tempting fate. I like the idea of including DSS but as a previous poster has said, wait until after the hopefully healthy birth then do pics of all three.

enjoyingscience · 09/12/2018 12:50

A scan is a medical record. If you wouldn't ask for her dental X-rays, don't ask for scan photos of her pregnancy.

megcustard · 09/12/2018 12:52

Extremely weird.

If all scans were yours then fine (although not my cup of tea) but you can't ask her for that! You really can't want to display a picture of his ex wife's uterus alongside yours

Mrscog · 09/12/2018 12:52

I would find it a bit wierd to be honest - I’d do photos of step children and your scan pic?

I don’t even have my scan pictures anymore - pointless clutter to me which I threw out!

user1471426142 · 09/12/2018 12:54

I’d find a request for scan pictures odd in the circs. Newborn pictures would be better.

JacquesHammer · 09/12/2018 12:54

I wouldn’t have an issue if DD’s step mum asked.

But then I love her very much and we’re good friends, I think it all depends on your relationship

gamerwidow · 09/12/2018 12:54

If the relationship is good then just ask. It’s impossible to know if she’ll say yes or not. As you can see by the responses some will think it’s nice you are including DS and others will think you’re weird for wanting a picture of her insides. Only you and she know what type of response you’ll get.

WorraLiberty · 09/12/2018 12:56

If one comment from a friend has got you doubting yourself, I think that speaks for itself.

If you were sure it wouldn't bother her, you would've immediately replied with "Oh no, she won't mind at all".

Best not to then.

llangennith · 09/12/2018 12:57

YABU to want to display scan photos. Very odd.

ChasedByBees · 09/12/2018 12:59

I wouldn’t. It seems a bit overly personal to me.

WorraLiberty · 09/12/2018 13:01

Hold on, I just realised you said you want to text your stepson's wife?

Did you mean his mum?

xyzandabc · 09/12/2018 13:01

So stepson is old enough to have a wife. Is he even likely to have a scan picture of himself? It would be more likely his mum would still have it, if there even was one.

Honestly I think framing scan pictures is a bit strange. Would be much nicer to have a set of all 3 of them as newborns.

InsomniacAnonymous · 09/12/2018 13:02

Your stepson has a wife?

WorraLiberty · 09/12/2018 13:04

OP must've meant 'mum' because she goes on to say they have the stepson every weekend.

Liverpool1944 · 09/12/2018 13:04

No way. That's so weird. They aren't your scans and v personal.

blueskiesandforests · 09/12/2018 13:04

Do you mean stepson's wife, or his mother?

ItWentInMyEye · 09/12/2018 13:05

It's an odd thing to want to display to be honest. And I'd refuse if my ex's partner asked me for one.

Iknowthatguy · 09/12/2018 13:05

I also felt my scans were quite personal. Maybe that's odd

proudmummywife · 09/12/2018 13:06

I would be more annoyed if my son's stepmum didn't include my son like he had only 2 kids by you that actually count.
I think it's a lovely idea 😀

Liverpool1944 · 09/12/2018 13:06

I think OP is doing that thing where she refers to herself as stepmum and the step kids mother as mum, like doctors do etc

blueskiesandforests · 09/12/2018 13:07

Scan pictures fade - if the stepson is a teen the picture may not really be usable.

I agree current pictures of each child would be better - scan pics mean little once the child is born and could, tbh, be any baby - they aren't recognisable.

Bellatrix14 · 09/12/2018 13:07

I’m not a mum (so maybe shouldn’t be commenting, although I’m sure I’d feel the same way if I was!) but I think it’s a nice idea!

I don’t really understand the comments with regards to it being intimate/personal because it’s her uterus/insides, I’ve seen a lot of scan photos, and they all look pretty much exactly the same to me so I don’t think she could feel too exposed? It’s not like you want a picture of all his children being breastfed so you’ve asked for a picture of that, or you want pictures of all three bumps so you’ve asked if she’s got any old pictures of her with her bare bump on display.

I’d just ask. You’re doing a nice thing for your husband and your step son, the worst she can do is say no Smile

ForgivenessIsDivine · 09/12/2018 13:07

I have scan pictures up in my house but I think they are quite intimate and not something I would like to pass on to the second Mrs Divine.

ememem84 · 09/12/2018 13:07

Depending on how old stepson the scan pics may not last. I was told mine would only last 8 years or so. So you could end up with framed black paper.

JacquesHammer · 09/12/2018 13:08

I was told mine would only last 8 years or so

I’ve still got mine, DD is 12 Smile

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